- Same reason I never answer the phone at home. I have to deal with people who want money we don't have.
- Why sit in an office and stare at my computer, when I can lay on my couch and do the same thing?
- It means I have to stop what I'm doing and get in the car and drive over there. I hate transitions. (I don't even like getting up to pee).
- I have to look the employees in the face to tell them we don't have money to pay them and it's probably because they're not doing their job fast enough (but also due to circumstances beyond our control).
- It's even more obvious that I'm not doing anything to help the company (like make sales calls) which makes me feel guilty and upsets Hubby.
Hubby accused me of being "just as bad as Bear and Kitty about avoiding their problems."
Why should I put myself out there to get yelled at? It doesn't change anything. If I thought there was a solution I would talk to them, but I can't even tell them when the next payment might be coming because I don't handle the finances.
I admit I avoid confrontation. It's how I grew up.
So am I depressed or have PTSD issues so I'm shutting down? Do I just need to up my meds or see my therapist more?
Is this a normal reaction to the amount of stress I'm under both at work and at home, and it will pass when the stress does? (Will the stress ever pass? It's not like I have a "normal" life, and even when the stress lightens up I somehow find myself looking for more - things are so quiet around here, let's adopt teenagers with major issues! That's not enough, let's put everything we own into and borrow even more from everyone to buy a company! Still not enough, I know! I'll run it myself and try to force myself to do things I hate, like cold calls and dealing with the finances...).
Am I really still under the weather or is that just an excuse? My allergies are still bothering me and I'm coughing my head off, but I'm probably just exhausted because I never sleep instead of really being sick.
Am I in the wrong job? I've always been a manager, but there's always been someone over me who's ultimately responsible. What would happen if I told Hubby I want to quit the company. Would it be less upsetting to everyone if I just said, "This is a part-time job. I will be here 10-15 hours a week. Deal with it." You know, that's not a bad idea. Right now it looks like I'm not living up to expectations. The employees are losing confidence in my abilities. In reality though I'm getting done what needs to be done. I never signed on to do the financial side of things. My job was marketing and HR. Not a lot of HR needed for three employees.
Make that 2 employees, Hubby just told me we have to lay one off. *sigh*
I haven't moved off this couch all day. Today none of the employees even sent me an e-mail asking if I was coming in. I'm going to take a nap now.