tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post2309394931974113160..comments2023-12-26T17:10:25.915-06:00Comments on Muddling through Mayhem: Labeling, stealing and moneymarythemomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-52534430925596767342009-11-04T16:32:28.471-06:002009-11-04T16:32:28.471-06:00This is a tough one. It's an issue with many p...This is a tough one. It's an issue with many parts to it, the main three being the missing controller, the money Bear already owes you and the items stolen from GM's house.<br />I think a surprise bag check when the kids get picked up from grandma's is a great idea. That way you and your hubby won't have to forgo much-needed time alone together and Bear won't be "rewarded" by not having to go to grandma's house.<br />I guess the main concern is the missing controller. Yes, Bear probably took it, but it's by no means certain. It could have been mislaid or taken by a visitor. I know that's unlikely but unless you have proof that Bear swiped it he will argue that he's being unfairly accused. You're really not on solid ground without proof. <br />You can try the age-old tactic used by cops by going with your gut instinct and confronting him by telling him you know he sold the controller and you want it either returned or replaced. THat might work or it might make him angry and defensive.<br />I'd be inclined to chalk it up to experience and keep future confiscated items under lock and key.Miz Kizzlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05650747741395559803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-57352229464314164192009-11-03T23:40:21.484-06:002009-11-03T23:40:21.484-06:00Upon leaving Grandma's (at her door if you pic...Upon leaving Grandma's (at her door if you pick them up, at yours if she drops them off), do a bag search. Since Bear would be likely to quickly figure out to put any stolen goods in another kid's bags, don't assign blame, just return her stuff to her. -- or is he leaving her house while he is there?<br /><br />Idea for not-quite-real allowance: Give them tokens to stand-in for the cash they'll get some day? (Ah, but then those tokens would need to be guarded). Maybe a visual color progress chart?<br /><br />I tell you, either Bear is more normal than you think, or my eldest is more too-far-from-center than I want to believe. (Mine was stealing my pens and selling them to fellow students in middle school!) My son would not have understood that selling me something of his meant that it was really no longer his.<br /><br />Bear is still very young. The "common" advice for parents of boys w/ ADHD is that they are about 4 years younger than their chronological age, and that they usually start acting more grown-up around age 21. I am still in a bit of shock that mine did do some serious growing when he turned 21. He's not "there" in my book -- not by a long shot -- but he finally shows that he might be capable of reasonable maturity.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com