tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post4330871722593004072..comments2023-12-26T17:10:25.915-06:00Comments on Muddling through Mayhem: Adoption and Faithmarythemomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-34001775731698135882010-03-01T09:02:06.176-06:002010-03-01T09:02:06.176-06:00The rest of my comment is on my blog.The rest of my comment is on my blog.shastastevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04280161146135058117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-38735391342884802942010-02-28T01:00:38.323-06:002010-02-28T01:00:38.323-06:00I'd be sure to talk with them about what they ...I'd be sure to talk with them about what they are learning, what they are currently believing, encourage questions, point them to the people who can answer the questions ... with you not attending, you can't be sure they are learning what you hope they are learning without the discussions at home.<br /><br />There are lots of ways of being spiritual, honoring God, etc. without actually attending services. But you have to work harder at creating ritual. (Which, as I recal from your Christmas post, you do work at). The question is, do they think you are "getting away" with something? You aren't spending the same amount of time they are, but you are learning, educating yourself, reading and talking with others about your beliefs -- and you can tell them that, should they ask.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-56780862882478806842010-02-27T19:18:06.936-06:002010-02-27T19:18:06.936-06:00I was raised with a Catholic mom and a don't-k...I was raised with a Catholic mom and a don't-know-what dad (raised in Iran, father a doctor, they didn't believe in god, my dad just didn't know or find it relevant). I went through all the sacraments, and we more or less went to church. We pretty much stopped from about 4th grade until 9th, when my parents separated. At that point my mom started going more, and me with her, and through getting involved (sign language interpreting) I got really into my faith and learned a lot more about it.<br /><br />My hubby was raised in a very very old-fashioned conservative Catholic family, the a good Catholic is a sheep who doesn't question kind. Mass every DAY not just every Sunday (they were homeschooled so could do this and had no other influences), altar boy, morning and evening prayers, prayers before every meal, dad who's a deacon, 8 kids, etc., etc.<br /><br />We are both now at roughly the same place in our faith: no longer Catholic. Or at least, I'm not a Catholic, he's not a fan of the Church and doesn't know what he believes, but still finds comfort in the ritual. There in his heart, though? Not so much.<br /><br />No matter how you raise them your kids will grow up and make their own decisions...my hubby and I had pretty different backgrounds (lackadaisical to uber-Catholic) but ended up in about the same place. I think it depends more on their personality than what you do where they end up, unless your goal is for them not to question.<br /><br />That said, raising kids to know a faith will work better than introducing it later: it's a lot easier to swallow the idea of virgin birth at 5 than it is at 25 (for example)! I think that's much of why different religions find each other so weird: they all have very very weird, unlikely stuff in them, but if you were raised in it it doesn't seem nearly as odd.<br /><br />In short...live your faith and live your life...and you know best how to raise your kids :-) Good luck!<br /><br />*Thoughts from someone who's not a mom but has spent a lot of time thinking about religion*Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-24917879453003769622010-02-27T12:46:39.374-06:002010-02-27T12:46:39.374-06:00I forgot to say that we can be careful not to get ...I forgot to say that we can be careful not to get caught up in legalism. Hitting anyone over the head with legalism might change actions, but it will not change the heart. It may even create a hypocrite.<br /><br />Also, the big print giveth, the small print taketh away.shastastevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04280161146135058117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-56887105728169266982010-02-26T22:45:08.152-06:002010-02-26T22:45:08.152-06:00You are doing exactly what you know to do. There i...You are doing exactly what you know to do. There is no right or wrong answer. Your children will see God in your more than you could ever teach them.Jessica Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17195933657619122165noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-91132320358146960002010-02-26T21:55:26.283-06:002010-02-26T21:55:26.283-06:00I guess for our family, it's not only about th...I guess for our family, it's not only about the words. Our kids started going to church as soon as they arrived as foster kids. It's just a part of our routine. What I noticed is that they seem to have taken the sensory memories to heart - leaning on mom and dad, listening to music, etc. I think in the long run, those positive and comforting associations will keep church a part of their lives. Our church family has been so accepting, too, so it's like another home. They're actually disppointed if we have to mis even a mid-week service. <br /><br />More than that, we give them the message that God has a plan for their lives, though it might not yet be clear what that is, and it might be a bit bumpy now. That He is watching over them and understands even when Mom & Dad or the world doesn't. We don't focus as much on "what would God want," although that is part of the message we give them. <br /><br />I guess for us, too, faith is as much a part of our lives as eating and sleeping, so it wasn't a conscious decision. I do know that watching our children learn to believe has brought new meaning to the phrase, "faith like a little child."<br /><br />Hmmm... looks like I could do a whole blog post on this too ;-)Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04452561735236501206noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-42884116143009813242010-02-26T17:49:32.958-06:002010-02-26T17:49:32.958-06:00I have said it out loud, "I'm raising 4 &...I have said it out loud, "I'm raising 4 "former Catholics." All the sacraments, Catholic school K-12, Mass every Sunday, etc. Ultimately it will be their choice, but I feel that at least I've provided the foundation. I could have done MUCH MORE, but at least they got what they got. <br /><br />As they are marching into adulthood I think I've got one "fallen angel" at this point, but I keep praying for him. And sometimes that's all we can do is pray.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-37621919791100090472010-02-26T14:43:53.469-06:002010-02-26T14:43:53.469-06:00Well our family is kind of like yours now with the...Well our family is kind of like yours now with the whole church thing. I always went and tried to get the kids interested. Because dad didn't go, they didn't want to. Eventually I stopped too. It bothers me a lot. I have a 19 and 17 yr old who didn't finish confirmation, a 14 yr old who doesn't get it-not his fault, and a 10 yr old who sometimes goes to church with her friends because they invite her to fun programs. I feel like I have really missed the boat on this area in their lives. I grew up with a strong faith and feel that is in me. My oldest doesn't know if he believes. I read the books you mentioned too. Very good. Now that they are older it is harder to get them involved. I talk about faith at home, but I know I'm not doing a good job of it. The verse you posted about faith and hope is one I have been searching for for a long time! I read it in a card about 1-2 yrs ago and couldn't remember the words. Thanks for posting it!Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11432036684354771659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-71867519815959872872010-02-26T14:08:58.184-06:002010-02-26T14:08:58.184-06:00We live our faith, and to our children, it eventua...We live our faith, and to our children, it eventually becomes as natural as breathing. We never demand they believe exactly as we believe, but our faith as been part of our family.GB's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08866513131959998883noreply@blogger.com