tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post6878928013804275674..comments2023-12-26T17:10:25.915-06:00Comments on Muddling through Mayhem: Getting Burnedmarythemomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-70608332109190785552011-10-10T16:51:50.426-05:002011-10-10T16:51:50.426-05:00I'm so sorry this is happening to you! I'v...I'm so sorry this is happening to you! I've no answers, only sympathy and a bit of understanding. Placing Ms A was easy compared to the hurdles involved w/ Kitty. ... There are so many "if onlys" and the system is so, so broken. (Broken because, IMO, it used to work better than this. I firmly beleive that the "close the institutions" advocates did at least as much harm as they did good.)<br /><br />Mary, where I hurt for you the most is what you've left unsaid. It isn't just that Kitty is attached to you. You have attached to her. You have given everything you have, and more, in trying to "fix" her, and yet so few people have understood or believed that your huge sacrifice was necessary... <br /><br />The only actual "advice" I can give you is somthing that has helped me more than once. Rather than seeing in your mind a confusion of half-baked impossible answers for Kitty, take the time to figure out one "this would be best; we can live really with this" solution; a solution that you can't see how it can happen, but isn't completely impossible without a miracle (perhaps an RTC willing to take her for a year w/ no cost to you, but not Kitty waking up one morning completely cured.) Get that solution as clear as it can be in your mind. Write it down. (That is a very important step.) It isn't for obsessing on, or working only toward that solution, but for the clarity of knowing it. Through your knowing what the best answer is, "the universe" can (and often does!) work to meet that need.<br />It worked for Ms A even though I didn't realize I'd sent the message out (I knew foster care was the best answer for her; I wrote it down and told it to others, but I also thought it was 100% impossible.) <br />I wish I could do more for you.<br /><br />{{{ hugs }}}Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-81606792559644212102011-10-10T08:06:46.505-05:002011-10-10T08:06:46.505-05:00Augh!! so frustrating!
I understand the money as...Augh!! so frustrating!<br /><br />I understand the money aspect of this (although I resent it like HE&@ for all of us in this messy situation). The bottom line is this - WHAT DO WE DO??? If TX or NE will not pay for RTC, If no one can stabilize her enough to carry over into school or your home, if the psych hospital has a revolving door and seems to be ok with sending home a teen who can snap at any moment, then how do we keep our sanity and the rest of our family safe? Even if Kitty has not acted aggressively towards anyone but herself, she is still disrupting your family. She is still subjecting every family member to the constant stress and how long before the other neuroptypical kids start showing signs of this chronic stress? I know that the professionals are there to help Kitty, not the rest of your family (even though they sometimes act like they're there for all of us, don't be fooled, they will always put her needs first) so they aren't exactly going to be helpful in this regard, YOU are responsible for everyone.<br /><br />She may not have BPD - yet, but many of the things you describe are symptoms of it. Maybe that's the problem, she has symptoms of so many different things that it's hard to pinpoint what to work on. <br /><br />Praying for answers for you....Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14612523674452864077noreply@blogger.com