tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post8400145694871601453..comments2023-12-26T17:10:25.915-06:00Comments on Muddling through Mayhem: Attachment Challengemarythemomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-75264108050164551442013-07-02T17:02:47.450-05:002013-07-02T17:02:47.450-05:00Umm ... how are you doing with the attachment chal...Umm ... how are you doing with the attachment challenge? *nags*<br /><br />Sianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-65523397612364521002013-07-01T13:32:11.099-05:002013-07-01T13:32:11.099-05:00Anon - I'll give you the same answer the equin...Anon - I'll give you the same answer the equine therapist gave Kitty when the horse didn't trust Kitty to work on it's right side. Kitty asked why she should bother, it didn't really matter if she didn't brush it or approach it on that side. The therapist said that the horse didn't like it, but a therapy horse that couldn't allow people to work with it - wasn't useful. A child that won't allow people to touch her or attach to adults, will never be a fully, functional human being. It's my job.<br /><br />I think "going through the motions" and "fake it 'till you make it" does work, but torture is probably going to be the right word, Lisa.<br /><br />Lisa - 20 HUGS! Wow! I thought 10 was a lot! Got a hug from my ex-brother-in-law recently and I flashed back to all the creepy, sexual hugs I had to endure from my son when he first came to live with us. It took time, but the feeling of the hugs did change.<br /><br />Marymarythemomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-11616018185923730952013-07-01T05:52:18.621-05:002013-07-01T05:52:18.621-05:00At one point my daughter was doing DBT therapy and...At one point my daughter was doing DBT therapy and her "assignment" was to hug me 20 times a day. I felt so icky having her hanging on me all day. It was so unnatural. I was always the mom who hugged her kids dozens of times a day and it always felt very natural and spontaneous. All of my kids hugged back - except for this particular one (but at least she let me hug her) but the worse her behaviors became (calling me names, saying how much she despised me and our family in general and how disgusting we were) the less I reached out to her. When she was doing this "assignment" her attitude was basically, "YOU WILL LET ME DO THIS!! I AM NOT GETTING INTO TROUBLE WITH MY THERAPIST FOR NOT DOING MY ASSIGNMENT!" so it didn't work out so well. I know it is supposed to feel more natural the more you practice it, but I guess I'm not a good fake it until I make it kind of gal because this was just torture for me! I hope it works out well for you two though.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14612523674452864077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-7690497578861380672013-06-29T06:42:25.493-05:002013-06-29T06:42:25.493-05:00Does Kitty want to do this? If she doesn't wan...Does Kitty want to do this? If she doesn't want to and you don't want to, why do it?<br />If the feeling of love isn't spontanous, if you have to fish around for "words of affirmation," then you're just going through the motions. <br /><br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com