tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post8722369755863295052..comments2023-12-26T17:10:25.915-06:00Comments on Muddling through Mayhem: 18 is Not the Finish Linemarythemomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-24307204062924349752009-10-07T22:33:45.851-05:002009-10-07T22:33:45.851-05:00My eldest, now 21, struggles greatly with how he h...My eldest, now 21, struggles greatly with how he has his dad's genes and that he is destined to be a total screw-up like his dad. I admit, I did say bad things about the man. But my son is old enough now to really see how bad his dad is -- and sometimes he is completely miserable, thinking that genes are what matters. <br /><br />My grandfather abused my mother so badlly she developed DID (multiple personalities). It is hard for me to realize that I have some of that evil inside me. It can be hard to listen to the logical, educated brain tell me that enviornment counts a whole lot more than genes. <br /><br />Perhaps your kids (and Bill's) are idealizing biomom as a way of confirming that what they have inherited does not doom them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-34978172284333632242009-10-07T05:30:17.339-05:002009-10-07T05:30:17.339-05:00Thank you so much for this post! We are where you ...Thank you so much for this post! We are where you are at with Bear with our daughter. Our problem is that she is an only child. We have not had the experience of a biological child that we may or may not have gotten the love we are looking for from. <br /><br />It is really hard to hear her talk about going back to Bio Mom as soon as she can, and not talking to you ever again, when you know Bio Mom is the whole problem and she refuses to deal with the trauma in therapy.<br /><br />We don't badmouth Bio Mom, but we make it very clear that she had some serious mental health issues and because of that caused some serious damage to J and her brain development. <br /><br />Not sure what to do now. We can't physically or emotionally do this anymore. We are both healer types and this is killing us. And my younger half-brother just died.Billhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06242323642545037055noreply@blogger.com