tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post1020218848408480584..comments2023-12-26T17:10:25.915-06:00Comments on Muddling through Mayhem: Treated like an "Adult"marythemomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-16843575973299459482014-10-19T15:32:25.463-05:002014-10-19T15:32:25.463-05:00Sia - We don't actually use the level chart, i...Sia - We don't actually use the level chart, it was more about helping people understand in a very concrete, quantifiable way why a child was/wasn't ready for the "age-appropriate" freedom. <br /><br />Every child/teen (adult!) throws a fit sometime and it doesn't mean they need to be treated like a young child. This is more about consistently being UNABLE to maintain the self-control needed to show they can handle less structure and support.marythemomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-49775492374203598722014-10-19T11:38:54.184-05:002014-10-19T11:38:54.184-05:00Hmm,...when I was about 12, I used to pitch simili...Hmm,...when I was about 12, I used to pitch similiar fits if I thought the goals weee unreasonable. Maybe split the levels up further?<br /><br />Not sure it will help though because at 12, I qthought everything was unreasonable.Sianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-34076830736178776082014-04-13T19:02:15.419-05:002014-04-13T19:02:15.419-05:00Lisa, we did not end up getting guardianship of Ki...Lisa, we did not end up getting guardianship of Kitty. It was just too expensive. <br /><br />I'm sorry that your daughter is gone. She sounds more like Bear than Kitty. Bear is not attached to us at all and has a super high amount of psychosomatic illnesses (plus he goes to the hospital a lot too). Kitty talks a good game, but she's too afraid of change to actually leave. She's also pretty easily led. <br /><br />I wish I could just allow her to visit Biomom for a few days to see if it's something she can handle, but her biomom lives on the other side of the country. Since Kitty and Bob are graduating this year and Hubby's job situation is in flux, we can't really afford to make a cross country trip right now.<br /><br />I hope you're getting some personal support. Please let me know if I can help.marythemomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-53108183163561626132014-04-13T16:53:13.208-05:002014-04-13T16:53:13.208-05:00What gives him the idea that he has any right to &...What gives him the idea that he has any right to "test" you? I'm thinking their tests are the equivalent of games and I personally cannot stand it when my kids play games and waste my time and energy. It is just so dumb and frustrating when they think they can control our emotions and reactions by being outlandish. I always fall back on the old "I love you too much to....." line. It ticks them off but helps me disengage from the emotional aspects of their games.<br /><br />Did you end up getting guardianship of Kitty? If not then I am afraid to tell you that she can do whatever she wants in regards to visiting bio family. My dd will be 19 at the end of May and seems so.... much like you're describing Kitty. We had all the same concerns and made all the same requests. She left 3 weeks ago now and it seems like I'm the only one upset that she's gone. She would rather live at a homeless shelter and date a guy she just met (her one true love according to FB) than look for a job, continue her education or follow our rules (which were the exact same ones we had for her six older siblings). I keep wondering what we could have done differently. She acts about 10-12 and is always "sick" too. She has already visited the ER with chest pains since she left and has been sick or too tired to do anything pretty much every day she's been gone - until she met the boyfriend about 5 days ago - so far she's miraculously healthy. It just makes me sick to think she is using her Medicaid on ER visits such as this. It is just so wrong!! I wish I could just give you the peace of mind that you need to encourage her to go visit bio mom for a few days. The more you try to deter this visit, the more plans she'll make. The visit may just be a disaster all on its own and she'll want to come back sooner rather than later anyway. Isn't this absolutely exhausting? I worry about my dd every day and then I catch myself grieving over her poor decisions and get so angry with her for ignoring all our warnings and myself for worrying about someone who is off not giving a second thought about me. It is truly a roller coaster of emotions.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14612523674452864077noreply@blogger.com