tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post4902650934758777161..comments2023-12-26T17:10:25.915-06:00Comments on Muddling through Mayhem: Parent with Hopemarythemomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-87846787912341441682010-02-09T22:27:33.637-06:002010-02-09T22:27:33.637-06:00If your taking votes I vote to dump the therapist....If your taking votes I vote to dump the therapist. He sounds defensive (to me) perhaps because he doesn't know how to advise you on how to parent Bear. <br /><br />I am no expert but my #1 rule if a professional or anyone wants to give me advise on my kids is has that person parented a child or children with my child's issues? If so how'd that go? How'd that kid turn out/progress? <br /><br />You do love your son if you didn't give a hoot why would you put so much effort in? <br /><br />Hugs to you (((Mary))), you are doing a bang up job!!!Mom 4 Kidshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10906174408622921425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-37198942174481884832010-02-09T22:11:40.456-06:002010-02-09T22:11:40.456-06:00My gut told me that my son had bipolar. His therap...My gut told me that my son had bipolar. His therapists said "No, you are just seeing ADHD and drug use." The therapists seemed to do some crisis management, but never work that would get to the heart of my son's anger. A lot of that was because my son wanted the therapist as a father figure, but no more than that. ... I believe in trusting your gut, even 'though I often don't have the nerve to carry through with the change. <br /><br />Was any of his time inpatient good for him? Do those docs have any local recommendations? <br /><br />There are so many problems to try to solve, and at the least the therapist and you have prioritized them differently and he's not trying to speak your language so you can see why he thinks his priorities are better ones.<br /><br />At the very least, the two of you need to come up with clear goals for therapy so you both know and agree on the path you are taking! Written goals!<br /><br />But not reading the email? That, to me, is the deal-breaker. That means he thinks he knows everything he needs to know already. (And who is the narcissist?)<br /><br />Ask your husband if he would keep an employee who didn't read emails from the person who pays him. Or one who won't tell you what he's trying to do until he is finished.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-63319312063649110442010-02-09T16:29:25.546-06:002010-02-09T16:29:25.546-06:00DUMP THE THERAPIST! OMG. if there is anything tha...DUMP THE THERAPIST! OMG. if there is anything that makes it worse for me as the mom is not being able to connect with my children's doctors or therapists. Since they are minors and I am their biggest advocate, it is imperative that I see eye-to-eye or at least that I speak in tones concise enough to let the therapist know that I must.be.part.of.the.equation.period.<br /><br />dump the therapist!!! tirangulation at it's best is happening here. <br /><br />(((HUGS)))<br />oh, and that's my unprofessional, totally subjective opinion that you have the right to completely ignore! lolIntegrity Singerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09196095126605205738noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-24736777151230114122010-02-08T15:09:39.241-06:002010-02-08T15:09:39.241-06:00One thing I have learned in parenting special need...One thing I have learned in parenting special needs children for almost thirty years is to listen to my gut. If you distrust and dislike the therapist, you have a reason even if you don't know what it is. Trust yourself.GB's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08866513131959998883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-69369783248266914182010-02-08T12:00:51.481-06:002010-02-08T12:00:51.481-06:00The hard part is deciding if the therapist is righ...The hard part is deciding if the therapist is right, partially right, or an idiot (he does not make this easy). Bear really has most likely got several personality disorders, but there is not really anyone out there giving good parenting advice for this.<br /><br />My husband usually just goes along with whatever I say, but in this case he agrees with the therapist's intent - for me to back off, just not for the same reasons. Hubby wants me to have less stress.<br /><br />Mary in TXmarythemomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-80893516936714743702010-02-08T10:04:08.007-06:002010-02-08T10:04:08.007-06:00This made me sick to my stomach and sad! I am so ...This made me sick to my stomach and sad! I am so sorry this is so hard. We have been there with therapists who think we are crazy. . . I want them to spend 48 hours being the parent to my son! Trust me, they would change their tune! <br /><br />It has to be difficult when you and hubby are not on the same page. Thankfully mine does what I tell him! :)Sherihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16598822471867683429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-19448444220671066682010-02-08T09:29:27.511-06:002010-02-08T09:29:27.511-06:00"the therapist sees him for what? an hour eve..."the therapist sees him for what? an hour every month? You and your husband are the real experts on Bear. The therapist can give you suggestions and tell you what he observes about your interactions with Bear but you're the one with the experience."<br /><br />The therapist seems him weekly. My biggest complaint about this therapist is that he <i>doesn't</i> give me suggestions or talk about what he observes! He's basically telling me it's none of my business and to quit trying to do his job.<br /><br />Purple, I'll post soon about why I've been incommunicado the last week (involves Bear of course), and I'd already decided to cancel the Monday appointment. The therapist made it perfectly clear that he is not going to change his views and he is patronizing me. I know he thinks I'm interfering and questioning his decisions. I think he should have to convince us that he is the right person for the job. Honestly I really want to just fire him, but Hubby disagrees. *sigh* <br /><br />"I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do." I wish I had a pop-up book that would tell me.<br /><br />Marymarythemomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-45444395943901105292010-02-08T08:40:36.912-06:002010-02-08T08:40:36.912-06:00I've been worried about you and wondering wher...I've been worried about you and wondering where you've been.<br /><br />Think hard about whether or not you want to go to that appt. on Monday (and the following Mondays.) That could be a waste of time and money if you don't really trust or respect this guy. And if Bear sees you going as a patient it could reduce his view of you and put you on a par with him, somehow undermining your authority. <br /><br />Just some thoughts off the top of my head. (((Mary)))Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-26989140534617255442010-02-08T08:29:19.008-06:002010-02-08T08:29:19.008-06:00From what you've blogged it certainly sounds l...From what you've blogged it certainly sounds like you parent with hope. You haven't given up on him and you want him to succeed but you're realistic in your expectation that he will have a difficult time in the future.<br />"Parenting with Hope" is one of those vague terms that therapists like to throw around. They love jargon but if you dissect some of their favorite phrases they make little or no sense.<br />Bear lives with you and the therapist sees him for what? an hour every month? You and your husband are the real experts on Bear. The therapist can give you suggestions and tell you what he observes about your interactions with Bear but you're the one with the experience.Miz Kizzlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05650747741395559803noreply@blogger.com