tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post5048616783454772868..comments2023-12-26T17:10:25.915-06:00Comments on Muddling through Mayhem: Attachment Challenge Day 11 and 12 and Makeovermarythemomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-86429647485250879062013-07-16T12:39:34.284-05:002013-07-16T12:39:34.284-05:00I applaud you for taking such diligent steps to gi...I applaud you for taking such diligent steps to give your children the very best. I pray they will soon realize and often remember how very much you seek out what can help them and faithfully walk out your love for them in a tangible way! <br /><br />I think it's great the way you tailor what you've learned to what your children can handle, all the while encouraging them to grow past whatever obstacles they may have encountered into the strongest, healthiest person they can possibly be! Hedged in Beautyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11814058774756857724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-76608989732226389232013-07-16T01:50:56.395-05:002013-07-16T01:50:56.395-05:00Honestly, I've not pushed this challenge as ri...Honestly, I've not pushed this challenge as rigorously as the original challenge, because Kitty can't really handle it, in fact we've stopped all together now that we're having to deal with the sleep chronotherapy stuff.<br /><br />As you mentioned, it is different for Kitty than for you, because of her development. She IS insecurely attached, so she is able to bond/ attach to a family, something I don't think Bear is capable of. Kitty really is a young child in a lot of ways so it's possible to do some of the attachment building activities that just wouldn't be appropriate with a young adult like yourself. <br /><br />I will probably find a way to build this type of activity into our daily routine, until it feels more comfortable and natural to her.marythemomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-35053801324722596372013-07-13T18:01:19.090-05:002013-07-13T18:01:19.090-05:00How long are you willing to do this attachment cha...How long are you willing to do this attachment challenge for? What if Kitty continues to resist it? Even Katherine Leslie, from what you'd said in a previous post, believes that some children are simply too damaged and guarded to be able to bond and attach to a family or caregiver. And I know that Katherine Leslie is an author you highly respect. I don't think it would be fair to continue putting the two of you through this rigorous exercise if it becomes too hard for one or both of you. Kitty may very well one day choose to back out of it altogether. Then what would you do? I also have some attachment issues from an early life of trauma and neglect, and am a few years older than she is. I don't have emotional challenges that are as severe as hers, and my cognitive and social development is a lot more on target for someone my age, and I personally handle these kinds of things better if I have some say in how they unfold. I was put into my adoptive family a lot sooner than she was, so was able to have a longer time to form at least a little bit of an attachment to them. But I also have differing views on family just like she does, and there are some family members who I just simply don't desire a relationship with at all at this time. I don't feel that I need them in my life. I have nothing to say to them. What if Kitty one day grows tired of this challenge and quits? What would you do if this were to happen? I believe that with everything, there comes a point where you have to step back, and acknowledge that you've done your best. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. I'm glad that you've had at least a little enjoyment during the time you've spent doing this with her, but I'd encourage you not to force this on her for too long. Your thoughts?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com