tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post6696209979336803688..comments2023-12-26T17:10:25.915-06:00Comments on Muddling through Mayhem: Out with the Old, In with the Newmarythemomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-65037600537655258892012-07-08T12:27:37.816-05:002012-07-08T12:27:37.816-05:00Thank you Johanna! I'm getting ready to revie...Thank you Johanna! I'm getting ready to review a book called "Can this Child be Saved?" that I'm really getting a lot out of and highly recommend. You might want to look into it. I really need to hear the kind words, so thanks again. Sending hugs and prayers! Marymarythemomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-78591114602907277812012-07-08T08:18:27.703-05:002012-07-08T08:18:27.703-05:00Hi Mary, I don't go on blogger often, but I no...Hi Mary, I don't go on blogger often, but I noticed a trickle of traffic from your site, didn't realize you had posted about me. Thanks! <br /><br />I've heard the Eskimos have a bazillion words for "snow" I think our English language could certainly come up with several more words for "love!"<br /><br />This definition of love is from the Bible... 1 Cor 4-8 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. <br /><br />I really believe only God's love is perfect, and we can aspire to emulate His love to others in our lives... we will fall short from time to time... yet the bits and pieces of genuine love we get right... never fail. <br /><br />You (and so many of us adoptive parents) talk about "feeling" love... toward our adoptees... I kinda put the "feeling" warm fuzzies of reciprocated love in a "we need another word for this" category of love. 'Cause Chapter 13 I think is a totally comprehensive definition of Love... yet mentions nothing about "feelings" of love. <br /><br />Our Attachment Disordered kids find love painful... and do their best to inflict their pain on us as we love them. Yeah, nothing at all "warm and fuzzy" about that!!!! But... that doesn't mean we haven't loved them... or that our love has "failed." <br /><br />Despite the lacking of "warm and fuzzies" from our adoptees... I continue to pray I'd be patient... that I'd be kind, that I won't envy, nor boast, nor be proud, nor dishonor others, nor be self-seeking, nor become easily angered, that I'd keeps no record of wrongs, nor delight in evil... That I would rejoice in truth, that I'd strive to always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere.<br /><br />I pray that when given the opportunity I will love... according to this definition... that when I fall short that the Lord would cover my shortcomings... I'm grateful the times I love... (again... not talking feeling warm fuzzy feelings here) it doesn't fail. It makes a difference. It does. <br /><br />I believe we adoptive parents have MUCH love for our attachment-disordered-children. <br /><br />The "Love Chapter" says "Love is not easily angered" It doesn't say "love doesn't get angry." We have endured SO VERY MUCH in return for loving our adopted children... and have not "EASILY" gotten angry. <br /><br />When Anger, and unforgiveness and pain arise in our relationship with our attachment-disordered-adoptees... we continue to pray for speedy resolution of those unpleasant circumstances... <br /><br />And that is love! <br /><br />You love your child... and that love will not fail! It is eternal.Hedged in Beautyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11814058774756857724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-21698173524733794672012-07-03T09:16:15.246-05:002012-07-03T09:16:15.246-05:00Mary, I'm so glad your blog is back! I'm ...Mary, I'm so glad your blog is back! I'm catching up with your posts but wanted to say that this post resonates with me. Unconditional love is a tough one for me, even with my biological child. I love all my children and want the best for each of the them, but my mood-disordered and attachment challenged middle child (adopted) makes our relationship very difficult. Despite our desires for the ideal where we could give without any expectation of reciprocity, the truth is that relationships only really work when there is some measure of giving on both sides. We know that the selfishness of small children will change as they grow and have the capacity to start thinking of others. But when you are dealing with a teenager who is still in that small child stage with no sign of ever changing - that is so discouraging to the state of the relationship. I love that you quoted from the prodigal son and it gave me something important to think about. Thanks! And you are doing an amazing job - thanks for sharing the ups and downs and ins and outs.Johannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11490727625082003162noreply@blogger.com