tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post8215866685852110553..comments2023-12-26T17:10:25.915-06:00Comments on Muddling through Mayhem: Emotional Energymarythemomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-22488376254515482902011-07-24T18:51:22.111-05:002011-07-24T18:51:22.111-05:00Um ... remember that you are trying to remember th...Um ... remember that you are trying to remember their developmental ages? While my 10-year-old occasionally remembers to ask me if I had a good time somewhere, he tunes out if I answer with more than one sentence. <br /><br />As for tapeing Bear, it might help, but i would be sure to be very concrete in what you want him to notice. if, for example, he "tends" to interrupt but he denies that behavior, I would have him listen for interruptions (but be careful! He will call you on yours!)<br /><br />You can try saying things like "I'm sorry you feel that way" and "I'm sorry I upset you" (because, after all, you ARE sorry that he is upset. You are trying to talk w/o upset-ness.) And then there is the strategy of diffusing "Yes, it must really suck to have your summer ruined. I know it isn't quite the same, but my father wouldn't let me work where I wanted to when I was in high school and I know I hated that."<br /><br />If logic hurts his brain because he can't understand it, don't try to have logic. Don't have serious discussions about things that are not needing immediate action. Instead, if this is his time to share his feelings, let him talk about his plans, no matter how off-the-wall or impossible they are. Let him feel excited about them -- that is his *sharing* his feelings with you. If you turn around and squish his hopes, of course he is going to be defensive and reluctant to share again. No matter how logical your point of view is. He doesn't *get* logic. Constantly remind yourself of the goal of the conversation ... <br /><br />As for encouraging conversation, at least for Kitty, perhaps you can find a game -- move the pieces around a board, pick a card, guess what the other person would say, or some other conversation-starter type thing. Funner, perhaps, than just running through scenarios.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852422397272068136.post-92204208472891980192011-07-22T10:51:03.962-05:002011-07-22T10:51:03.962-05:00Hi I've been following a while and thought I w...Hi I've been following a while and thought I would share what we do with our RAD/ADHD daughter. If she has a snarky comment, we ask her to "try again" or "how can you say that in a nice way?" She has to keep doing it until we're satisfied with her answer. OR if we tell her she has X number of tries followed by a consequence. I remind her that I don't talk to her disrespectfully so she has to match my tone and volume to show the same respect. We don't have a lot of "conversation" so to speak, but if I probe enough her and I can talk. I also use Energy Drain from Love & Logic. Also, "I love you too much to argue with you and Nice try." Sometimes it works to just tune out and "oh, too bad, bummer" to her complaining. Praying you and Bear can work on things!Deliciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02359206305584303845noreply@blogger.com