This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Thursday, November 13, 2014

75 Positive Child Behaviors and Attitudes - Katherine Leslie


75 Positive Child Behaviors and Attitudes 

from Katherine Leslie's Coming to Grips with Attachment

The survey contains a list of positive child behaviors and attitudes. Please put a check mark under the column that best describes whether each of these behaviors or attitudes is generally true (GT) or generally not true (GNT) of your child.  Please fill out a different survey tool for each of your children.

GT/GNT
1 Cares about self
2 Cares about others
3 Takes care of the pets
4 Good work ethic
5 Is kind and giving
6 Has a positive outlook
7 Enjoys learning
8 Loves spending time with family
9 Adds to family unity and peacefulness
10 Wants to do what is right
11 Friends and relationships are important to him/her
12 Is polite and respectful
13 Is conscientious and accepting of others
14 Is remorseful when he/she makes mistakes
15 Stands up for her/ himself
16 Is grateful and appreciative
17 Asks me to play with him/ her
18 Asks for compliments
19 Wants me to share in his/ her successes
20 Tells me things he/ she's learned or seen
21 Appreciates my efforts
22 Responds respectfully to my discipline
23 Does things/ chores to help me
24 Wants to please me
25 Hates to disappoint me
26 Demonstrates behaviors we've talked about
27 Looks to me for approval
28 Listens to me when I give directions
29 Shares ideas and feelings with me
30 Asks for help and advice from me
31 We talk together about life
32 Looks up to me
33 Talks to me about his/ her problems
34 Is interested in hearing my life stories
35 Enjoys my hugs and kisses
36 Tells me his/ her fears
37 Is natural and authentic
38 Cares about what I think
39 Knows I will be there for him/ her
40 Wants to be cared for by me when he/ she is sick
41 Comes to me for comfort after being scolded
42 Falls asleep in my arms
43 Feels sad when I leave or if I'm not around
44 Is excited/ happy to see me after a separation 
45 wants to be near me
46 Seeks me out for comfort I he/ she is hurt or feeling bad
47 Lets me teach him/ her things
48 Looks for me if I'm watching his/ her sporting events/ activities
49 Wants a hug and a kiss from me at bedtime
50 Wants to spend time with me
51 Gives me support and encouragement
52 Compliments me
53 Wants to be like me
54 Pays attention to me
55 Seems to like me
56 Shows concern when I am upset
57 Talks positively about me to others
58 Makes things for me
59 Gives me gifts
60 Tells me I am the most important person in his/ her life
61 Tells me I'm great
62 We play, tease, and joke around
63 We enjoy doing activities together
64 We cuddle and giggle together
65 We rough house together
66 We share the same sense of humor
67 He/ she is funny and makes me laugh
68 Gives me hugs and kisses every day
69 Isn't afraid to show me affection in front of others
70 Tells me he/ she loves me
71 Responds to my affection with warmth and happiness
72 Smiles at me many times a day
73 Writes me cards to tell me he/ she loves me
74 Hugs and kisses me out of the blue
75 Looks to me for protection

I loaned out my Coming to Grips with Attachment book years ago and it never came back, so when someone mentioned this checklist, I was curious how my kids rate now. It was really depressing until I decided to look at it for ALL my children and realized that some of it is probably the fact that my kids are teens. 

Kitty 15-20 if I'm feeling generous. 

Nope, still depressing.  *sigh*

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