Kitty's Coming Home

Kitty will be coming home at 4pm today. I decided to create a new chore chart with the responsibilities and privileges done in levels.

Basic Responsibilities are Self Care (hygeine, taking meds, eating meals) and Basic Safety (No meltdowns, no threatening self or others.
Basic Privileges are Approved music and books, slightly earlier bedtime, and family activities.


Level privileges requires daily completion of ALL the responsibilities of that level and ALL prior levels. Non-completion of ANY responsibility will move child back to the privilege level containing that responsibility. To move up to the next level's privileges, she needs to demonstrate an ability to maintain that level's responsibilities for a period of time. This will hopefully demonstrate an emotional ability to handle the privilege (for example, not having nightmares before being allowed to watch media I think triggers her).

Level 1 Responsibilities are Personal Responsibilities (room and clothing chores) and Emotional Responsibilities (being respectful, and no gossip).
Level 1 Privileges (2 days maintenance required before can get privileges) are regular bedtime, less supervision on media, being allowed to spend the night at Grandma's and go to church/Sunday School with direct supervision.

Chores will be inspected by Mom and must meet her standards. If child is unable to accept feedback then child will be redirected to another activity.

Level 2 Responsibilities include the Chores (maintaining one of the bathrooms) and Emotional Responsibilities (No whining)
Level 2 Priviliges (3 days maintenance required) include riding the school bus, having (female) friends over, and being allowed to do stuff and make choices without direct supervision (media, church...)

Level 3 Responsibilities include some Kitchen Chores which can be triggering for Kitty, but aren't the ones that specifically do so and Emotional Responsibility is sleeping well without nightmares (because the privileges include potentially triggering media).
Level 3 Privileges (1 week maintenace required)- Lot less monitoring

Level 4 Responsibilities include Kitchen Chores that are triggering. The Emotional Responsibility is not dissociating or isolating.
Level 4 Privileges (2 week maintenance required) include a cell phone and dating. The cell phone is what triggered this latest episode.

Level 5 Responsibilities include a few more Kitchen Chores, handling her own meds, and being RRHAFTBALL.
Level 5 Privileges (1 month maintenance required) this is the life of a typical 16yo.

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I'll be telling Kitty that we expect her to work her way slowly through the steps, and that we expect her to maintain at about Level 2. In order to head off a meltdown, we will be putting everyone on this system for a week to show her why they are at the levels they are at. Bob will have homework as her major chore. We'll probably switch out "Be Where You're Supposed to Be When You're Supposed to Be There" for "No Whining" for Bear.

She's going to hate it. She's going to protest, even though it's as concrete and positive as I can make it... but she's mentally ill, and this is our life. This is really to give to all the people who've been saying we can fix this if we just...