Atypical eating behaviors are common, especially in children with severe neglect and attachment problems. Many of our kids have food triggers (especially if there has been a time in their life when they didn't have enough food), emotional eating, depression, anxiety... and the child can develop significant eating and body image issues. They may hoard food, hide food in their rooms, eat as if there will be no more meals--even if they have had years of consistently available foods. They may have failure-to-thrive, rumination (throwing up food), refuse to eat, swallowing problems, and, later in life, unusual eating behaviors that are often misdiagnosed as anorexia nervosa.
My Child Doesn't Remember the Neglect as an Infant, But His Body Does by Foster2Forever
My son doesn’t have a memory of being hungry as an infant, but his brain does. That baby’s developing brain was hard-wired with a terrifying memory of being hungry, not knowing when he would be fed, and believing he was going to die!
The fear response of fight, flight or freeze would kick in – and my baby would fight! – the only way he could as an infant – by screaming. As he got older, his fear response from hunger escalated from screaming to actual fighting!
Attachment and Eating Disorders (ED) -
"Research indicates that higher levels of attachment anxiety increase risk for severe ED manifestations and adverse treatment outcomes." ~A Place for Eating Disorders within Attachment Theory’s Frame Kelsey N. Wallour, BSFCS
Avoidant Attachment
Primary caregivers of children with an avoidant/ dismissive attachment tended to be emotionally unavailable or unresponsive to them a good deal of the time. This child can develop a feeling that they have no value and expects that they will be rejected and their needs neglected. They may learn to "shut down" their emotions and ignore their needs. Their interactions with food may also be avoidant in nature. Their issues with food may come from an overwhelming desire to elude emotions and feelings of fullness. This might lead to issues with anorexia nervosa.
(This study mentions that adult patients with this type of ED may not do well in group therapy, but have enormous potential for personal reflective functioning and awareness).
{When Kitty first came to us, we found that some of Kitty's "anorexic" tendencies improved dramatically as she became more attached and allowed herself to feel again. Both her physical and emotional feelings returned and once the dissociations improved, I think she started realizing that she was hungry (or constipated, or had food on her face, or needed to go to the bathroom...).}
Anxious Attachment
The anxious/ ambivalent child’s caregivers were often unreliable and unpredictable. These children may come across as “needy” because they seek constant validation from others. Instead of dissociating from their needs, they constantly mull over their past experiences and memories which keeps them "agitated" and self-focused. They often have difficulty recognizing the needs and emotions/ effects of others. Because they are highly dependent on external sources such as society and peers, the extreme fear of rejection from others worsens their desperate need for approval and high body dissatisfaction.
Anxious attachment patterns are more likely to lead to bulimic symptoms or binge eating disorders, because of their issues with interacting with others and their relationship with food. Their hyperactive/ hypervigilant awareness of stress can lead to a high state of reactivity. Their attempts at coping and self-soothing might be bingeing or engaging in the binge-purge cycle.
(This study recommends group therapy in a safe and validating environment for its adult patients with this type of ED).
Attachment Parenting/ Therapy
Dr. Karen Purvis, Ph.D. of TCU, author of The Connected Child, believes there is a strong connection between nutrition and healing the "kids from hard places." She lists resources on her website:
http://www.child.tcu.edu/resources.asp http://empoweredtoconnect.org/
http://www.child.tcu.edu/Resources/Resources_Topics_Neurotransmitters.htm
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0ISW/is_282/ai_n19170309 empoweredtoconnect.com:
http://adoptionnutrition.org/
Control Issues -
Oftentimes, trauma issues can lead to anxiety and control issues. Eating (or not eating) can be one of the few things our children feel they have control over.
"Strictly regulating {their own} food and body weight offers a small sphere of control for people who otherwise feel out of control. When this is the case, unintentional weight gain may lead to thoughts of 'I’m losing control' instead of 'I’m fat.'"
Geraud said it’s common for eating disorders, substance abuse and mood disorders such as depression or anxiety to coexist.
“There are often pre-existing anxiety disorders in people who develop eating disorders, especially as children.”
"Children tend to think in very concrete terms, and when they have anxiety or other uncomfortable emotions and feel the accompanying physical sensations in their body, they may think that if they can change or control their body, they can prevent those emotions and feelings. Alcohol or drugs might be used for the same purpose." ~Lisa Geraud, senior clinical director at The Moore Center in BellevueNot Feeling SafeSometimes food issues occur because the child doesn't feel safe and food is often one of the few things they feel they can control. Ironically, when they have the control, instead of the adults, then they get more afraid and things cycle even farther out of control.
If the child feels that they are in control instead of us then their world is not SAFE.Just like our kids keep using old defense mechanisms that are no longer needed, our kids often get stuck in the feeling that they are not safe.
This is a life or death feeling!
A child who feels unsafe is a scared child. An insecure, scared child behaves in increasingly bizarre and scary ways to get control of their world.
Food Hoarding -
Trauma and Food Hoarding -
"Food hoarding is a common issue displayed by foster-adoptive children. Food hoarding can be central in a child’s world and resistant to change. Additionally, hoarding food behavior can bedevil and bewilder parents.
So why does a child hoard food?
Often food hoarding is directly connected to significant neglect that the child has experienced in consistently having their basic needs for life-sustaining food denied or inadequately met. As a result, the child is forced to become prematurely self-reliant in meeting their own basic needs.
For example, in a situation where the parent is chemically dependent resulting in inconsistency in providing and having food available, it would be reasonable that when food is available that a child would view this as an opportunity. It would be logical that a “survival mentality” would be for the child to respond to the availability of food in self-reliant ways which could include over-eating and hoarding food in secretive ways. In neglectful situations, food hoarding is a wise alternative to ongoing food deprivation."
Emotional Eating -
Trauma and Weight Gain -
Emotional trauma is a very painful experience that can lead to weeks, months and even years of emotional distress. People will turn to a variety of things to help them cope with their intense feelings relating to the trauma. For some people, food becomes a source of comfort as they try to — literally — push down their feelings with food. Trauma and weight gain go hand in hand when the person suffering begins to emotionally eat. Sometimes this emotional eating, combined with the mental effects of the traumatic event, can lead to a serious eating disorder known as compulsive overeating.
Human Connection — Our kids often crave sugary, comfort foods to fill the gaps in human connections. Why Comfort Food Comforts.
Distraction/ Dissociation — A way of changing the subject or avoiding dealing with a trauma-triggering issue.
Marythemom: When my daughter was having a particularly rough therapy session she would often try to dissociate (flight/ escape) using food. She would suddenly feel like she was "starving" and her focus would become all about her wanting to leave and go to McDonald's, effectively ending the session. When she gets upset she still turns to food. I often mention to her that this feeling is based on her emotions, not actual hunger, and sometimes I can get her to recognize it.
Medications -
Making changes in medications.
Side effects of many medications often include an increase or decrease in appetite. Many stimulant ADHD meds decrease the appetite. Many anti-depressants increase appetite. Anti-anxiety medications can reduce a child's issues with appetite.
Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD)/ Prenatal Alcohol Exposure (PAE) - Inappropriate Feeding Behaviors and Dietary Intakes in Children with FASD or Probable PAE
Abnormal eating patterns are common in children with FASD/PAE and may contribute to their delayed growth and nutritional inadequacies. Their poor satiety may reflect poor self-regulation and impulse control. Damaged self-regulation could cause the feeling that they are not full which can cause them to increase feeding behaviors.
ConstipationMany medications can cause constipation, diarrhea, and other gastric distresses. Often leading to issues with food.
Constipation is common in children with FASD/ PAE and could reflect low dietary fiber or altered gastrointestinal function.
Nutritional Deficiencies
Exploratory data suggest that children with PAE may be at risk for nutritional deficiencies, which are influenced by inappropriate food preferences (cravings), disordered eating patterns, medication use, and the stressful dynamics surrounding food preparation and mealtime.
PicaPica is a compulsive eating disorder in which people eat nonfood items. Dirt, clay, and flaking paint are the most common items eaten. Less common items include glue, hair, cigarette ashes, and feces. The disorder is more common in children, affecting 10% to 30% of young children ages 1 to 6. It can also occur in children and adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities, such as autism. On rare occasions, pregnant women crave strange, nonfood items. For these women, pica often involves eating dirt and may be related to an iron and zinc deficiency.
The Addictive Brain -
Endorphins —
Your brain naturally produces these neurotransmitters in response to pain or extreme exertion to take the edge off and generally make you feel amazing. Really amazing. Experts actually compare endorphins to opiates because they deliver such intense pleasure, says psychologist Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D., M.S., author of A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness.
Anorexia Nervosa --
"An eating disorder is present when a person experiences severe disturbances in eating behavior, such as extreme reduction of food intake or extreme overeating, or feelings of extreme distress or concern about body weight or shape. A person with an eating disorder may diet, exercise, or eats excessively, which can have life-threatening or even fatal consequences." -- Anxiety and Depression Association of America
"Anorexia is characterized by weight loss or failure to gain weight appropriately (in children). Individuals with anorexia often demonstrate a distorted body image, in which they see themselves as larger than they really are. They often engage in restrictive behaviors, purging behaviors, and excessive exercise. When family and friends start to worry, people with anorexia often try to hide their behaviors.
Anorexia is a serious mental illness with possible life-threatening outcomes. Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder. Half of the deaths in anorexia are due to complications related to the disorder and the other half is due to suicide. The majority of individuals with anorexia are female. However, the prevalence is increasing in males and the transgender population.
Treatments -
Treating Anxiety/ Depression - Eating disorders commonly co-occur with anxiety disorders. For those who have an anxiety disorder, a co-occurring eating disorder may make their symptoms worse and recovery more difficult. It’s essential to be treated for both disorders.
Neurodevelopmental model of etiology for anorexia and other eating disorders. This model states that eating disorders develop as the result of a genetic and neurobiological predisposition triggered by dieting behavior. The eating disorder is then maintained based on the functions that it serves (e.g., emotion regulation, fear avoidance, neurobiological homeostasis).
Culinary Therapy - Many cooks know what a sanctuary the kitchen can be. Now, some health-care clinics and counselors are using cooking or baking as culinary therapy tools for people suffering from depression, anxiety, and other mental-health problems.
The courses are often partly aimed at teaching healthy cooking and eating skills to people living tough, chaotic lives. In addition, clinical counselors say culinary therapy also soothes stress, builds self-esteem, and curbs negative thinking by focusing the mind on following a recipe. Often, the courses are part of a larger treatment plan that also includes talk therapy or medication.
Medication - Treating underlying anxiety or depression with medication can help alleviate anorexic symptoms.
{Our son showed signs of anorexia (which runs in families). An anti-anxiety medication helped alleviate some of his symptoms.}
Nutrition Dense Foods
Interventions:
As with all behavior and emotional challenges, a child’s special needs and individual circumstances should be considered when designing interventions. Additionally, professional therapeutic assistance can offer help in the assessment and treatment of food issues. In an effort to understand the function of food issues, the following questions can assist in a parent’s understanding of their child’s food issues.
How To Get Your Child To Eat When He Refuses
Sometimes, there is a disconnect between how much the parents think their child should eat, and what is normal and appropriate for the child’s age. Remember, young children eat small volumes of food compared to kids and adults. Bowlfuls of food for baby, or medium-size portions of different food groups at one sitting for the toddler may overdo it and exceed their nutritional requirements. If you think your child isn’t eating enough, do a quick check of his growth chart and refer to the food portions that are appropriate for your child’s age.
It’s not your job to get your child to eat {or not eat}.
But, there are important aspects around feeding your child that are part of your job.
After that, you’re done. It’s all up to your child to do the job of eating at that point.
Refusal is a Rite of Passage for Young Children - Saying “no” is an act of independence for many children. A way to differentiate themselves, have a voice, and initiate their autonomy. Each child, I believe, has the right to say no. And that goes for eating food, too.
Ways to increase endorphins (besides food):
Attachment:
Focus on increasing attachment. Here's some ideas - The Attachment Challenge
10-20-10 Each day, look for three moments of connection with your children.
-10 minutes of closeness in the morning
-20 minutes of closeness when you get home
-10 minutes of closeness at bedtime
Exercise:
Not just running. Working out stresses your system, so your brain pumps out endorphins to cope.
Work out together:
In addition to being good bonding/ attachment activity, a small British study found that athletes who rowed together could tolerate twice as much pain (a sign that endorphins are present) as athletes who rowed alone. Working out with others can improve your endorphin flow.
LOL!
When you get a case of the giggles, your body releases endorphins that increase your pain threshold. So go ahead, laugh until it hurts.
Play!
Not only does playing with your child increase attachment - PACE (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy), but it's good for you as well! Don't forget to Play!
Your brain spews out even more endorphins when you actively take part in creating music. If you're not a classically trained musician (just guessing here), tap, hum, or dance along to your favorite tunes. The sillier the better (laughing increases endorphins).
Eat hot peppers:
Even if you love the taste of spicy foods, your body senses the heat and responds the same way it responds to pain. Enter, endorphins! Just be careful with this one - forcing a child to eat hot peppers (or anything) can be considered abusive.
Lavender:
Spritz lavender on your pillow everywhere. In a 2012 study published in the Journal of Caring Sciences, women who sniffed lavender essence reported less anxiety than women who sniffed a placebo. The study authors say aromatherapy makes nerve cells release a mix of neurotransmitters, including (You guessed it!) endorphins.
Acupuncture:
Why would anyone in their right mind want to be repeatedly poked with needles? Research suggests the pain sends a message straight to the brain, which releases endorphins as a remedy.
I'm not sure how well this would work with kids with trauma/ attachment issues.
ADHD:
A study took a group of children with ADHD, half of whom were on Ritalin and the other half did 20 minutes of exercise every morning that "bounced" their brains in an up and down manner (like jogging or trampolines). Both sets of children were sent to school and the teachers could not tell the difference! The exercise lasts a little less time than the medicine, but you can always repeat!
Interventions focused on neglect-based food hoarding:
It is important to understand how the child’s food issues impact you as a parent. Become aware of your own food issues and explore if they influence your ability or willingness to look at the child’s problem with an open mind and creative flexibility. Also, study yourself to determine if the child’s food hoarding personally threatens your role as a provider/nurturer.
Attachment Therapy:
When children feel safer {Why Doesn't My Child Feel Safe?} the fear causing the hoarding behaviors decreases and therefore the behavior decreases.
Food Baskets/ Snack Cabinets:
Provide food baskets/ snack cabinets in the home that incorporate the child’s input in creation and consist of snacks that are healthy and appealing to the child. The child should be told the food baskets will be re-filled and are a “better alternative” than hoarding. If the child hoards the food basket; set limits but do not discontinue. Some schools will also cooperate with food baskets; especially if the child is prone to take other student’s snacks. (Can also use a fanny pack or cabinet/shelf full of appropriate foods.)
Marythemom: Caregivers also frequently emotionally eat - we use comfort foods as a substitute for the love our children cannot provide. The average RAD mom gains 10-15lbs a year working with a RAD child.
I cannot recommend SELF-CARE! highly enough for parents with kids with trauma issues.
Distraction/ Dissociation — A way of changing the subject or avoiding dealing with a trauma-triggering issue.
Marythemom: When my daughter was having a particularly rough therapy session she would often try to dissociate (flight/ escape) using food. She would suddenly feel like she was "starving" and her focus would become all about her wanting to leave and go to McDonald's, effectively ending the session. When she gets upset she still turns to food. I often mention to her that this feeling is based on her emotions, not actual hunger, and sometimes I can get her to recognize it.
Medications -
Making changes in medications.
Side effects of many medications often include an increase or decrease in appetite. Many stimulant ADHD meds decrease the appetite. Many anti-depressants increase appetite. Anti-anxiety medications can reduce a child's issues with appetite.
Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD)/ Prenatal Alcohol Exposure (PAE) - Inappropriate Feeding Behaviors and Dietary Intakes in Children with FASD or Probable PAE
Abnormal eating patterns are common in children with FASD/PAE and may contribute to their delayed growth and nutritional inadequacies. Their poor satiety may reflect poor self-regulation and impulse control. Damaged self-regulation could cause the feeling that they are not full which can cause them to increase feeding behaviors.
ConstipationMany medications can cause constipation, diarrhea, and other gastric distresses. Often leading to issues with food.
Constipation is common in children with FASD/ PAE and could reflect low dietary fiber or altered gastrointestinal function.
Nutritional Deficiencies
Exploratory data suggest that children with PAE may be at risk for nutritional deficiencies, which are influenced by inappropriate food preferences (cravings), disordered eating patterns, medication use, and the stressful dynamics surrounding food preparation and mealtime.
PicaPica is a compulsive eating disorder in which people eat nonfood items. Dirt, clay, and flaking paint are the most common items eaten. Less common items include glue, hair, cigarette ashes, and feces. The disorder is more common in children, affecting 10% to 30% of young children ages 1 to 6. It can also occur in children and adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities, such as autism. On rare occasions, pregnant women crave strange, nonfood items. For these women, pica often involves eating dirt and may be related to an iron and zinc deficiency.
The Addictive Brain -
Professor Peter Cohen argues that human beings have a deep need to bond and form connections. It's how we get our satisfaction. If we can't connect with each other, we will connect with anything we can find -- the whirr of a roulette wheel or the prick of a syringe. He says we should stop talking about 'addiction' altogether, and instead call it 'bonding.' A heroin addict has bonded with heroin because she couldn't bond as fully with anything else.Marythemom - My son has an "addictive brain." We've seen evidence of it for years, and knew it wasn't the drugs themselves because the addiction shifted often and he could stop seemingly cold turkey (drugs, alcohol, tobacco, but also sugar, sex, adrenaline, chaos...). A large part of this is because of his attachment issues - the (in)ability to make human connections.
So the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. It is human connection.
Endorphins —
Your brain naturally produces these neurotransmitters in response to pain or extreme exertion to take the edge off and generally make you feel amazing. Really amazing. Experts actually compare endorphins to opiates because they deliver such intense pleasure, says psychologist Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D., M.S., author of A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness.
Anorexia Nervosa --
"An eating disorder is present when a person experiences severe disturbances in eating behavior, such as extreme reduction of food intake or extreme overeating, or feelings of extreme distress or concern about body weight or shape. A person with an eating disorder may diet, exercise, or eats excessively, which can have life-threatening or even fatal consequences." -- Anxiety and Depression Association of America
"Anorexia is characterized by weight loss or failure to gain weight appropriately (in children). Individuals with anorexia often demonstrate a distorted body image, in which they see themselves as larger than they really are. They often engage in restrictive behaviors, purging behaviors, and excessive exercise. When family and friends start to worry, people with anorexia often try to hide their behaviors.
Anorexia is a serious mental illness with possible life-threatening outcomes. Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder. Half of the deaths in anorexia are due to complications related to the disorder and the other half is due to suicide. The majority of individuals with anorexia are female. However, the prevalence is increasing in males and the transgender population.
In the past families and society were blamed for causing eating disorders. As we have developed a better understanding of eating disorders, we now realize that eating disorders are biologically-based disorders. "
-- Alsana
Treatments -
Treating Anxiety/ Depression - Eating disorders commonly co-occur with anxiety disorders. For those who have an anxiety disorder, a co-occurring eating disorder may make their symptoms worse and recovery more difficult. It’s essential to be treated for both disorders.
Neurodevelopmental model of etiology for anorexia and other eating disorders. This model states that eating disorders develop as the result of a genetic and neurobiological predisposition triggered by dieting behavior. The eating disorder is then maintained based on the functions that it serves (e.g., emotion regulation, fear avoidance, neurobiological homeostasis).
Culinary Therapy - Many cooks know what a sanctuary the kitchen can be. Now, some health-care clinics and counselors are using cooking or baking as culinary therapy tools for people suffering from depression, anxiety, and other mental-health problems.
The courses are often partly aimed at teaching healthy cooking and eating skills to people living tough, chaotic lives. In addition, clinical counselors say culinary therapy also soothes stress, builds self-esteem, and curbs negative thinking by focusing the mind on following a recipe. Often, the courses are part of a larger treatment plan that also includes talk therapy or medication.
Medication - Treating underlying anxiety or depression with medication can help alleviate anorexic symptoms.
{Our son showed signs of anorexia (which runs in families). An anti-anxiety medication helped alleviate some of his symptoms.}
Nutrition Dense Foods
Interventions:
We want to avoid drawing battle lines around food!
As with all behavior and emotional challenges, a child’s special needs and individual circumstances should be considered when designing interventions. Additionally, professional therapeutic assistance can offer help in the assessment and treatment of food issues. In an effort to understand the function of food issues, the following questions can assist in a parent’s understanding of their child’s food issues.
- Could there be psychiatric or medical/biological issues contributing to the food issue?
- Does the child’s history reveal reasons for fixation on eating/hoarding?
- Does the child substitute a food fixation for a loving relationship with parents?
- Are there things that trigger eating problems in the child?
- Is the child displaying an emotional neediness in the way they eat?
How To Get Your Child To Eat When He Refuses
Sometimes, there is a disconnect between how much the parents think their child should eat, and what is normal and appropriate for the child’s age. Remember, young children eat small volumes of food compared to kids and adults. Bowlfuls of food for baby, or medium-size portions of different food groups at one sitting for the toddler may overdo it and exceed their nutritional requirements. If you think your child isn’t eating enough, do a quick check of his growth chart and refer to the food portions that are appropriate for your child’s age.
It’s not your job to get your child to eat {or not eat}.
But, there are important aspects around feeding your child that are part of your job.
- Your job is to set up a positive environment at mealtime so that your child enjoys coming to the table.
- Your job is to create eating opportunities several times each day, based on your child’s age, so that he can meet his appetite and nutritional needs.
- Your job is to select, cook and assemble a well-balanced meal that is tasty and has eye-appeal.
- Your job is to help your child eat if he truly needs it, but simultaneously be hands off and let your child explore food on his own.
- Your job is to respect your child when he says he’s done.
After that, you’re done. It’s all up to your child to do the job of eating at that point.
Refusal is a Rite of Passage for Young Children - Saying “no” is an act of independence for many children. A way to differentiate themselves, have a voice, and initiate their autonomy. Each child, I believe, has the right to say no. And that goes for eating food, too.
What making your child eat may do, however, is erode the trust he has in you as an unconditionally loving and supportive human being (ahem, a parent), while potentially damaging or delaying his developing relationship with food (and you).
Ways to increase endorphins (besides food):
Attachment:
Focus on increasing attachment. Here's some ideas - The Attachment Challenge
10-20-10 Each day, look for three moments of connection with your children.
-10 minutes of closeness in the morning
-20 minutes of closeness when you get home
-10 minutes of closeness at bedtime
Exercise:
Not just running. Working out stresses your system, so your brain pumps out endorphins to cope.
Work out together:
In addition to being good bonding/ attachment activity, a small British study found that athletes who rowed together could tolerate twice as much pain (a sign that endorphins are present) as athletes who rowed alone. Working out with others can improve your endorphin flow.
LOL!
When you get a case of the giggles, your body releases endorphins that increase your pain threshold. So go ahead, laugh until it hurts.
Play!
Not only does playing with your child increase attachment - PACE (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy), but it's good for you as well! Don't forget to Play!
Kids live for when their parents step outside their comfort zone to join them in something fun.Make music:
Children with a history of trauma desperately need to play every single day. It is one of the ways they heal (write that one on your bathroom mirror and read it every morning). That is an area where I was painfully misguided when I first started therapeutic parenting. I took a stance of expecting them to EARN their play (AND I WAS WRONG!).
Now I know better, so I do better. -Christine Moers, Welcome to my Brain
Your brain spews out even more endorphins when you actively take part in creating music. If you're not a classically trained musician (just guessing here), tap, hum, or dance along to your favorite tunes. The sillier the better (laughing increases endorphins).
Eat hot peppers:
Even if you love the taste of spicy foods, your body senses the heat and responds the same way it responds to pain. Enter, endorphins! Just be careful with this one - forcing a child to eat hot peppers (or anything) can be considered abusive.
Lavender:
Spritz lavender on your pillow everywhere. In a 2012 study published in the Journal of Caring Sciences, women who sniffed lavender essence reported less anxiety than women who sniffed a placebo. The study authors say aromatherapy makes nerve cells release a mix of neurotransmitters, including (You guessed it!) endorphins.
Acupuncture:
Why would anyone in their right mind want to be repeatedly poked with needles? Research suggests the pain sends a message straight to the brain, which releases endorphins as a remedy.
I'm not sure how well this would work with kids with trauma/ attachment issues.
ADHD:
A study took a group of children with ADHD, half of whom were on Ritalin and the other half did 20 minutes of exercise every morning that "bounced" their brains in an up and down manner (like jogging or trampolines). Both sets of children were sent to school and the teachers could not tell the difference! The exercise lasts a little less time than the medicine, but you can always repeat!
Interventions focused on neglect-based food hoarding:
It is important to understand how the child’s food issues impact you as a parent. Become aware of your own food issues and explore if they influence your ability or willingness to look at the child’s problem with an open mind and creative flexibility. Also, study yourself to determine if the child’s food hoarding personally threatens your role as a provider/nurturer.
Attachment Therapy:
When children feel safer {Why Doesn't My Child Feel Safe?} the fear causing the hoarding behaviors decreases and therefore the behavior decreases.
Food Baskets/ Snack Cabinets:
Provide food baskets/ snack cabinets in the home that incorporate the child’s input in creation and consist of snacks that are healthy and appealing to the child. The child should be told the food baskets will be re-filled and are a “better alternative” than hoarding. If the child hoards the food basket; set limits but do not discontinue. Some schools will also cooperate with food baskets; especially if the child is prone to take other student’s snacks. (Can also use a fanny pack or cabinet/shelf full of appropriate foods.)
Alarms and Locks:For children who hoard and/or gorge, sometimes we need to lock away foods. I firmly believe that if you use this option that you need to be sure the child always has access to some food (we had a cabinet that held food our children were allowed to eat at any time). This wasn't just
There were many times when I reached for something that I planned to use for dinner, only to find it half empty or gone. Special treats (or even a bag of sugar!) eaten or wasted. The school called occasionally to let me know my son was selling food to his friends again (once he brought an entire pumpkin pie to sell!).
One time, a child's Halloween candy stash was eaten by another child because he decided it was her own fault for not hiding it well enough.
- change out the doorknob to a walk-in pantry to one with a key lock
- some chest freezers come with locks
- we put a door alarm on the door to the garage where we had a second refrigerator
- small refrigerator that can be put in a room or closet that locks.
- lock boxes - like office hanging file boxes which can even be used in a refrigerator (we also used these for meds that needed to be refrigerated)
- toolboxes and chests that can be locked
When packing lunches for school or events, pack a “special container” of food that can be removed and is with the child. This provides a traveling sense of food security and food availability for the child.
"Super Snack Day" (suggested by an awesome Trauma Mama):
First thing in the morning, tell him, "Since I am such a super, awesome Mom, I have noticed how hungry you've been lately. So today I have 15 snacks ready for you! (Show him the pile of small! snacks you've prepared). When you feel hungry, just say 'Mom, may I please have a snack?' And I will say yes!" This removes the need for begging or whining for food. If the child doesn't say, "May I please have..." then he's probably letting you know he really doesn't want the snack, instead, this is more about being in control (fear and safety).
You stay strong in a loving way and redirect the child to something else. Fluctuate the number of snacks available each day until the child trusts that you really will always feed him/ her and have food available. I have found you have to surprise them sometimes with how amazing and generous you are (while still being in control)! Obviously, your goal is not to teach him to need 15 snacks a day, but rather how amazing and awesome his Mom is! :-)
Coupling nurturing with food:
Always positively reinforce any progress the child makes on hoarding behavior. If the child utilizes a food basket, nurture the child when they seek items from the food basket. Positively comment on how all family members are always fed. Weave this message into mealtimes and have this message commented on by various family members.
Some parents have the child request snacks, so the child equates the parent with meeting their needs.
Meal planning and cooking together: - this helps reduce some of the anxiety around food and increases nurturing and attachment at the same time.
Teach food regulation:
If the child has a tendency to gorge, set a “food time out” after a complete meal is consumed. Make certain this applies to all family members. The goal is to assist the child in learning to experience a sense of “fullness”. The “food time out” should not be presented as denying food but rather delaying additional eating for a prescribed period of time. Describe how the physical sensation of “fullness” feels. Fifteen minutes, after the completion of a meal, is an estimate of the time before fullness will be experienced.
Posted Menu:
Knowing when the next meal/ snack is and what it is going to be can be extremely comforting to many kids. Plus, it allows you to not have to answer, "What's for dinner?" a thousand times a day. Also, it makes grocery store trips a little faster because you have a menu! ;) It also saves arguments about what to have for snack or desserts. "It's not on the list, Sweetie."
Letter Parties:
Giving the child some control over what he/she eats can encourage them to eat healthy foods with less pressure.
We used to have Letter parties when our kids were younger. It started as a way to help the kids learn their letters, but became a fun way to spend some time together - planning, shopping, preparing, and partying! It also helped when we got stuck in a rut with the kids complaining about everything I cooked.
These letter parties make planning meals a lot easier. The kids get involved and there was more thought to it than - "start a big pot of water boiling and I'll decide what to throw in it when I get home." We had very little leftovers too.
Medication:
There's a med used for alcohol and drug addiction that stops the cravings, Naltrexone (Vivitrol - a monthly shot of Naltrexone instead of a pill). If your child's issues are related to addictions, this might be worth speaking to a psychiatrist about it. Naltrexone could potentially be a game changer in terms of behaviors that stem from wanting food, stealing food, hoarding food, emotional eating...
{Marythemom: I haven't tried this, but it was recommended by a fellow trauma mama. It really worked for her son}
Document! Document!! Document!!!
One thing I HIGHLY recommend to any parent dealing with children of trauma is to DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT!!
You've heard me say it before... I'll say it again, and again. It has helped protect us (from false allegations among other things), get services for our children, refresh my memory of past issues (so I can see progress and make sure chronic issues get addressed), and track what interventions have worked and what haven't.
FALSE ALLEGATIONS
False allegations can be reported by outsiders looking in who don't understand therapeutic parenting techniques and/or how our children behave when out of sight of outsiders. Documentation can protect us from accusations of abuse by someone who is looking in at (judging) our life from the outside. {Dear Person Who Just Doesn't Get It}
Our children are especially prone to false reporting for many reasons -
Distortion of Reality - One reason we deal with a lot is an actual distortion of the events in the child's mind (they remember the feelings and often associate it with things that happen in the past). We try to remind Kitty that her perception is off when she describes events that led up to a meltdown (she doesn't remember anything when she's in "fight/ flight/ freeze mode"). She'll say "Daddy was yelling at me," when all he said was, "Who left the butter out?" in a totally normal voice.
"I was following the medical/ therapeutic advice of .... " and then present them with your documentation!
"My child is under the care of a medical and/or therapeutic professional. (This "professional" could be you as the therapeutic parent by the way!)
Non- Trauma-related Food Issues
Marythemom: Sometimes it's good to remember that just because our kids have one or more diagnoses, doesn't mean they might not have other reasons for their behaviors and issues too! Allergies, foods, and meds have caused constipation, unusual reactions to medications, and behavior issues. Some people find that changing diet can help alleviate some of these as well. A gluten-free/ casein-free diet is often recommended, especially for children on the autism spectrum. No red dyes, no processed foods, all raw foods, vegetarian, vegan... so many options!
Medications -
Another common problem causing food issues for our kids is medications. Many kill the appetite (especially stimulants for ADHD), and some increase the appetite dramatically (many anti-depressants).
Anxiety and depression can cause serious food issues. Finding the correct medication can alleviate these symptoms.
For some medications, weight gain or loss in appetite can be a side effect.
{Our daughter had been on stimulant ADHD meds which appeared to be contributing to her severe lack of appetite (she was very underweight). Over the summer, we stopped the ADHD med. We also added an anti-depressant. Our daughter gained 70lbs in 3 months! After seeing the rapid weight gain in the first month of that anti-depressant, we changed to a different one but had the same results. Changing her anti-depressant medication to an extended-release medication slowed/ stopped the rapid weight gain. Starting her on a non-stimulant ADHD med prevented the issues with appetite suppression.}
Nutrition/ Allergies/ Supplements
Diet can significantly impact the impaired brain. Neuroscience shows the limbic system is a hot spot for traumatized children (and stressed out parents). When overused (typical for people dealing with stress/trauma) we can “burn out” the stress receptors. Additionally, we often crave the food(s) to which we are most allergic/sensitive.
Marythemom: Sometimes it's good to remember that just because our kids have one or more diagnoses, doesn't mean they might not have other reasons for their behaviors and issues too! {Overlapping Diagnoses in Children}
Kids with Food Allergies - Safe Eats® Allergy-Friendly Recipes!
You can search to meet your special dietary needs, or you can browse by category. The "free of" boxes indicate that the recipe can be made without those allergens (it may require substitution to make the recipe safe for your particular needs).
Feingold diet. http://feingold.org/
Dr. Bernui of Hendersonville, TN was one of the recommended practitioners in Jenny McCarty's 2007 book Louder than Words: A Mother's Journey in Healing Autism. He and other holistic practitioners are investigating nutrition and require much more lab work than what we may be used to. http://www.restoreyou.net/index.php?tag=NFDTC2R1S.
Dr. Daniel Amen (publisher of SPECT scans of addicted and recovering) http://www.energypsychologycafe.com/healing/amen/gift.asp?id=9876
Gut and Psychology Syndrome - Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride – Gut and Psychology Syndrome (GAP Syndrome or GAPS) is a condition which establishes a connection between the functions of the digestive system and the brain. Describes how it develops and how to treat it effectively with a sound nutritional protocol. Natural treatment for autism, ADHD/ADD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, depression, and schizophrenia. Videos
Is This Your Child? By Doris Rapp - In this breakthrough book, Dr. Doris Rapp offers a simple yet effective approach to handling "problem" children. Is This Your Child? shows parents how to identify the common foods, chemicals, or common allergic substances that could be the culprits that cause some children or adults to feel unwell or act inappropriately. If your child is always sick, hyperactive, a slow learner, or cranky, the first question you should ask is not "What drug should be prescribed?" or "What have I done wrong as a parent?" Instead, find out the cause.
Love Me, Feed Me: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Ending the Worry About Weight, Picky Eating, Power Struggles and More by Dr. Katja Rowell - who is known as the feeding doctor.
12 Reasons Your Child Won't Eat by Jill Castle, Childhood Nutrition Expert.
Love Me, Feed Me: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Ending the Worry About Weight, Picky Eating, Power Struggles and More by Dr. Katja Rowell - who is known as the feeding doctor.
12 Reasons Your Child Won't Eat by Jill Castle, Childhood Nutrition Expert.
Our kids can be so complicated!!
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