Oh my goodness, I can't believe I'm considering this. I wasn't willing to try it 3 years ago when Christine Moers from Welcome to my brain. net first came up with this (horrible) Attachment Challenge. For the last couple of weeks though I've been really struggling with Kitty. I'm not sure if it's worse lately because she's not living at home right now (she's spending the next 2 weeks at Grandma's house so she can get to Vacation Bible School easily) so I'm out of practice at the daily routine of dealing with her or the lack of buffer when she was home (when not at camp or on trips.
Bob and Ponito are spending the majority of the summer at Grandma's so they can help her with babysitting my sister's kids - which Kitty is very jealous about since she's not really invited - due to her being another child instead of a helper). Or maybe because, despite trying so hard to keep my expectations at the right level for her, I'm really frustrated with HER not being able to accept her reality.
So here's the challenge:
The Attachment Challenge
10 hugs a day
10 minutes of FUN attachment-inducing games (involving touch and/or eye contact)
20 minutes of doing something fun YOUR CHILD wants to do
- Some of the posts we've come up with for doing when we're bored that might have some good things to do together. 108 Alternatives to Boredom and Trapped in the House.
- Prepare and shop together for a "letter party."
- Play catch with a big ball or balloon. The trick is you must maintain eye contact. Don't look at the ball.
- Hand Games like "Miss Mary Mack" etc...
- Cuddle up on the couch and read a short book together. Take turns reading.
- Tie one of each of your legs together and each of your wrists. Now together...go make a sandwich. Teamwork!
- If you have a pre-teen or teenage daughter...do her make-up (even if she doesn't normally wear any)
- Hair - sitting in front of the mirror so you can catch each other's eyes - braid, curl, brush, gel, mousse...
- Mani/ pedis on each other! (Don't forget to include hands and feet massages.)
- Ask your child to take a photo portrait of you and you take one of him/her. Frame them on a wall next to each other.
- While sitting across from one another...ask your child to draw a portrait of you. You draw one of him/her.
- Start two journals. In one...your child can ask you any question and you must answer. In the other...you may ask your child any question and they must answer. Leave the journals on each other's beds every night for peeks into hearts and growing understanding. (Ex. What makes you happy? What makes you sad? What are you afraid of? Do you have any regrets? What makes you laugh? Do you feel safe? What does family mean? Have you ever felt forgiven? etc....)
- Write a poem using the letters of each other's names and read them to each other (sitting face to face)s.
- Scavenger hunt with loving clues from mom. End in a favorite snuggle place.
- Tubby that smell away. use deodorant/yummy lotions. anything to help the connection times (you can wear swimsuits). (The RAD Stink - the Smell of Dysregulation)
- Color a coloring page or Mandala together. each person must color the spot with the crayon of the other's choice. Crossover/intertwine arms.
- Slowly feed each other a bag of fruit snacks. one for one. give words of affirmation. (ie feel my love going down to your tummy)
- Cook a snack or make a fruit salad together.
- Dance together. Freestyle or maybe Wii - Just Dance (It helps that we're both bad at this. Personally, I'd avoid something you're good at and your child is not).
- Sewing - this is an activity I've already planned for this summer with Kitty and 3 other girls.
- Tossing goldfish in child's mouth from 5ft away - trying for 5 fish in a row
- 101 I'm Bored Jar
Attachment Challenge Days 1& 2
Attachment Challenge Day 3
Attachment Challenge Days 4,5 & 6
Attachment Challenge Days 7, 8, 9 and a makeover
Attachment Challenge Day 10
Attachment Challenge Day 11& 12 and a makeover
Ended Attachment Challenge to do chronotherapy for chronic insomnia