This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Friday, October 28, 2011


Today was a big day for Bear. He had a DARS job specialist come to talk to him about finding a job at 8am. He was still asleep at 7:50am. He was sleepy and rude to the specialist.

Bear's court date (for driving without a license) was at 5pm. I picked him up from school and he took offense to a comment I made about him being in trouble (he felt that this was the only trouble he'd gotten into in a long time). He was a little bossy and obviously stressed on the way to the court, but he laid his head on my shoulder while we were seated waiting outside the court room.

The court made a mistake with his case (they had recorded that he'd brought in his driver's license - which he couldn't have since he doesn't have one) so they dismissed his case (I guess since they hadn't prepared). I admit to not being happy about this. The judge looked at me like why are you still here? when I questioned why they were dismissing the case.

While it's good since we didn't need the expense of the court costs, I worry that it's teaching Bear the lesson that what he did wasn't that important and didn't need consequences. He does still owe $500 ($100/mo) for the deductible for the car he crashed and only has $50 saved so far for the November 1st payment. I know he's worried about that, and I think is hoping biofamily will bail him out. He didn't even ask us (not that we would have bailed him out and he probably knew that).

He'd made no provisions for the court costs at all. I think he thought he'd have time to pay them, and didn't believe us when we'd told him they would demand payment on his court date. It would have been about $200.


So is this God's way of taking care of us? Financially everything seems to be coming at once. This month Hubby gets an extra paycheck, so when the TV broke we decided to spring for the $400 it would cost to fix it (it's a good quality TV that Santa brought us 3-4 years ago).

Then the service engine soon light came on in my car, but it went away again. Unfortunately it refused to start after I went to pick up Hubby for court, but when we got back from court it started again!

Recently I got pulled over by a police officer because my brake lights weren't working, but he only gave me a warning so I need to get that fixed. Will have them look at the brakes too because the squealing is beyond loud and annoying.

The worst was the water heater biting the dust. Luckily no water damage, but it had to be replaced.

Need to hire a pest control person to catch the rat or squirrel that went tearing around the ceiling in the game room for an hour or so. Made the cats nuts. Plus got to figure out how he got in and fix that too. In college we had some raccoons move into our walls and have babies, and they all sat around scratching their fleas for hours at a time. NOT an experience I want to repeat.


Hubby and I went back and forth about whether or not to hire an advocate for Kitty's IEP meeting on Monday morning. We pretty much just ran out of time. If we don't get what Kitty needs at the IEP meeting on Monday then we probably will go for a due process hearing in which case we'll need representation.

Kitty has had a lot of doctor appointments this week (all day Tuesday for the neuropsych testing), psychiatrist and thyroid testing onWednesday (she has an enlarged thyroid and will need to see an endocrinologist).

Wednesday evening was Bear's neuropsych testing (he goes twice a week), and Kitty had to stay with me for the whole 2-3 hour session.

Then we went to the psych hospital to sign some release forms for getting info for residential. I've spent a lot of time all week trying to get clinicals and other information gathered for residential treatment, and leaving messages with tons of people, still trying to get Kitty into residential.

Today was mostly about Bear, DARS in the morning, he was supposed to meet with his psychiatrist, but after being rescheduled once that got cancelled completely. And of course court in the afternoon.

Ponito is doing too much this year (football, band, and soccer). Hubby is counting down the days until the season is over so the practices and games will finally stop!

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