This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Monday, March 26, 2012

A new baby?

I don't know if y'all remember me talking about my pregnant 16yo niece. She was staying with my 21yo nephew as her legal guardian (because her uncle had attempted to molest her and her mother wouldn't make him stay away). Then her mom bribed my niece to come home (probably to regain access to my niece's SSI) by allowing the baby's daddy to live with them. Then biomom went to jail and niece moved in with boyfriend's family (8 people in a 3 bedroom home). I helped nephew get niece to move back home (told him to mention - contributing to the delinquency of a minor) ... anyway this is about the baby.

My niece ended up having complications (diabetes) and didn't take care of herself, endangering the life of the baby. He was born prematurely, but did get to come home after about a week. She apparently missed the baby's doctor appointment and spent a lot of time on FB... and the state took custody. I don't pretend to know all the legal stuff - this is all happening 4 states away.

Currently the state placed the baby with the boyfriend's grandmother. Our family (nephew and my MIL) are looking to Hubby and I to try to take custody as the only family members who are in a place to care for .

Part of me thinks God is planning this (Bear moved out a couple of months ago and his room is now empty, we're getting a substantial tax refund which means we can pay off some of our debt - balancing out the loss of Bear's subsidy, Hubby has been offered a full-time job so we'll finally have health insurance again...). Part of me is ambivalent, am I ready to take on a baby? I have been wanting to adopt again, but I was thinking of an older child.

Well I'm not holding my breath, we've been jerked around by this state before (we actually thought we would end up with custody of niece, nephew and other niece, but the mom kept getting them back). At this point I'm just going to keep cleaning up and remodeling the house and trying to get it back to where it would actually pass a homestudy. Will keep you posted.


Seven From Heaven said...

Oh how exciting. Best of luck.

Miz Kizzle said...

Yikes. You're wonderful to consider it but there could be trouble from your niece if you do. I have seen similar well-intentioned scenarios end up badly during some of my volunteer legal work as a GAL. Couldn't you use this more or less peaceful time to regroup, save some money and tend to your own neglected needs?

Lisa said...

Good luck! Sometimes we just have to do what we can and then keep ourselves too busy to dwell on it until a decision is made. Getting everything at home back on an even keel can be your focus while the wheels are turning four states away. It sounds like things are off to a good start though!