This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Attachment Day 4 & 5

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children - "When someone won't let you in, you eventually stop knocking".   Keep knocking!

Attachment Day #4 - Today was the 4th of July so we slept in a little and then I took Kitty to the store with me to buy ingredients for the cheesecake cupcakes I wanted to make for the Sunday School 4th of July party we were heading to that afternoon.
11:30am - gave me a spontaneous kiss on the cheek at the grocery store, but then ducked out of my answering hug because, "Eww, no, we're in PUBLIC!"
Bedtime - she realized she hadn't done any attachment activities.  She decided that the shopping trip would count as her 20 minutes of "together activity."  She was done  Not even a bedtime hug.

Attachment Day #5 -
10:30am - brief hug in passing.
4:20pm - sat down and asked me to put on her makeup as part of the 10 minutes of eye contact.
4:25pm - I sat with my hands on her shoulders for about 3 minutes before I realized we needed to search for a piece of paper before we had to leave to get Kitty to work.  She worked until bedtime and chose not to hug me goodnight.

Attachment Day #6 -
2pm - Still nothing.  *sigh*
4pm - She came over and sat down next to me.  After awhile I asked her why, and she replied she wanted to do the attachment stuff, but I was obviously not going to.  I reminded her that she needed to ASK, and put my arm around her shoulders for about 5 minutes, before she ran off to get ready for work.

Hmmm.... do I keep going after 1 week?


Almond Tea said...

I vote yes! But how do you feel?

marythemom said...

Talked with Hubby about it, and we think one more week would be good. I'm feeling a lot better. Big possibility that a lot of my anger earlier was PMS (no longer an issue) and issues having to do more with Bear than Kitty.