This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Monday, March 5, 2012

Giving you the Finger... update


Bear told me that on a Thursday almost 3 weeks ago, he slammed his right hand in a car door fooling around in the school parking lot. He apparently skipped school that day. At some point (Thursday or Friday) he had a school athletic trainer "reset " his pinky finger. He also saw the school nurse. He claims he had someone reset it again at some point.





Sunday night he called me and told me he needed a doctor appointment because now it hurt. Monday morning I made an appointment and picked him up at school. He didn't need to leave for a couple of hours, but he was obviously exhausted (said he's not sleeping and he's staying up all night playing video games), and he said it hurt too much. I made him see the nurse to put ice on it.





A new doctor saw him, commented on the 18lb loss, told him to keep icing his pinky (which he refuses to do because it makes it hurt), to splint it (which he kept removing because it got in his way), and sent him for x-rays. The next day I was told over the phone that the x-rays showed a fracture and he needed to see an orthopedist. Honestly I assumed "fracture" meant crack in the bone, so when I was told the orthopedist is only in his local office on Mondays I didn't think twice about it.





Monday morning, Bear forgot. So I rescheduled for the following Monday, today. We were also supposed to get bloodwork for his medications, but he "lost" the paperwork and "forgot" he was supposed to be fasting (even though I'd reminded him). I'm wondering if he has something to hide (although they're not actually doing a drug test).





He gave ultimatums the whole time ("I'm not going to wear a cast."). Af first I tried to explain that a little inconvenience now was better than a lifetime of arthritis, pain and deformity. I finally told him to stop acting macho. It's OK to be nervous.





Bear had to have the doctor explain things to him several times, and he still didn't really get it. At one point the doctor just turned to me and explained, but I knew Bear had to hear it from the doctor, so when Bear asked a question that the doctor just answered I made it obvious to the doc that I expected him to answer. Then I explained it again after we left. I still don't think he gets it.





Bear apparently broke the entire tip of his pinky bone just above the joint, except for one tiny piece that the tendon was connected to. Because he didn't wear the splint, the tip of his finger had slid away from the joint, and both pieces had started healing so could no longer be jigsawed back together even with surgery so surgery is not an option. His finger will be permanently deformed and the joint immobile.





IF he wears the splint all the time, the bone and the piece might heal together (although not the way they're supposed to go) so his finger won't look deformed. If he doesn't... then the bone could continue to drift and eventually adhere to a different part of the joint. Luckily it's only his pinky.





On the way to school I asked Bear what lesson he learned from this. He said, "none." I asked him if he had learned a lesson, what lesson does he think it should be? He guessed, "See the doctor?" Yes, Bear, that's a good lesson to learn (it's even on the Murtaugh list).











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Murtaugh's List.





I like the show, How I met Your Mother. Recently I saw an episode about thier Murtaugh's list. Murtaugh is a character on Lethal Weapon, who is always saying, ""I'm too old for this $#*!".





So after suffering from a night of partying like they were 20 something, the 30 something year old guys wrote a list of things they were too old to do any more. Here's some of the ones I remember:


  • Drinking and partying all night

  • Spending the night on a friend's futon

  • Getting something pierced

  • Put off seeing the doctor

  • Playing lazer tag

  • TPing

What would you put on your list?

1 comment:

Penelope W said...

Staying up all night with a newborn. (I'm 47)