This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Update

"All Women can do WONDERS if put to the test" - Wonder Woman
Updates:

Sleep Study - total waste of time.  Kitty's sleep issues are apparently stress related.  Within 48 hours she was back to staying up all night.  On the bright side, I've been getting to bed earlier... most days.

Bob - Bob turned 17 last week.  My baby girl is growing up!  This summer she's getting her driver's license, has traveled to Spain,  gone on a mission trip, and worked as a nanny for my sister's 5 kids.

Grandma - Grandma had a severe reaction to some medication and has lost partial control of one side of her tongue, throat, and face.  She has great difficulty swallowing and speaking.  We are very worried about her.

Sewing Lessons - I've been teaching sewing to Kitty and a couple of other girls.  ALL 3 girls have some Obsessive Compulsive Disorder issues although they all handle it differently.  One has similar diagnoses to Kitty (bipolar, RAD, ADHD...), BUT she has a much higher IQ and I can really tell the difference sometimes.  Still it has been very rewarding and given me a lot of Words of Affirmation!  *grin*  It's also been inspirational and I've been sewing for some auctions, most recently to put in an auction for scholarships for next year's Trauma Mama retreat in Orlando - http://www.32auctions.com/organizations/8750/auctions/9602

Bear turns 20 this week.  This will be the second birthday he's spent in Oklahoma (he was arrested a few days after his last birthday).  He is still in jail, a convicted felon on his way to prison, and still unmedicated.

During a recent call Bear told us that his biofather and paternal biograndmother were killed in a car accident on their way back from vacation in Colorado a few days before.  His 15yo half sister who lived with their father was injured in the accident, but will be OK.  I've seen their obituaries and they don't mention Bear at all (just the half sister and college-age half brother from a marriage that ended in divorce).  I know that he wasn't even mentioned is going to hurt Bear.

His biodad has abandoned Bear so many times throughout his life.  Bear was in contact with him off and on during the time he lived with us.  They'd communicate for awhile, Bear would abuse this by calling constantly -even when Biodad was at work, until the Biodad would cut him off cold turkey.

Several months ago Biodad showed up at the jail and apologized to Bear for not being part of his life.  He claimed he was on drugs and unable to care for Bear when they entered the foster care system (but he apparently had full custody of Bear's half siblings who are close in age to Bear).  He also claimed he was clean now and going to be a part of Bear's life.  Bear never heard from him again.  Family members said that Biodad had packed up his kids and moved out and no one saw him for months.  Bear felt abandoned yet again.  Now he'll forget all the abandonment and idealize Biodad.  He commented during our call, "Now I guess I'll definitely be coming home to Texas (after I get out of prison).


2 comments:

Sage Harman said...

Hi! You have a really great site! I'm glad to have stumbled upon it! I was wondering if you feature guest postings. Thanks and have a great day!

marythemom said...

I never have before, but I'm not against it. What do you have in mind?