BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT Outline

Therapeutic Parenting

Therapeutic Parenting - This Doesn't Feel Right! by Christine Moers

Therapeutic Parenting is the term used to describe the type of high structure/high nurture intentional parenting that fosters the feelings of safety and connectedness so that a traumatized child can begin to heal and attach. Learning to parent therapeutically is the single most important thing you can do to help your traumatized/attachment-disordered child. - Attachment & Trauma Network, Inc. 

Some posts about Therapeutic Parenting:
Structure and Caring Support 
Why Doesn't My Child Feel Safe?
Connected Parenting (TBRI)

**This series had originally been titled Preschool Behavior Management, but the reality is that most children of trauma are developmentally behind their peers and a 16 year old may be emotionally only 4yo - meaning we should parent based on the child's emotional age, not their physical age. **

"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.”
Finding the Joy

“Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away ... just for this time in my life. Old age is like a bank account ... you withdraw from what you've put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories.”

**This is a working document.  Items are always being added/updated.  Constructive input is always appreciated!**

          Chapter 1--    PARENTING BASED ON DEVELOPMENTAL / EMOTIONAL AGE

a.    Preoperations Stage

b.    Magical thinking/ Distorted Reality

c.    Concrete/ Black and White Thinking 

Chapter 2--    DISCIPLINE vs.BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS

a.     Behavior Problems

i.              Lack of Impulse Control

ii.            No Understanding of Consequences

b.    Consequences vs. Punishment

i.              Natural and Logical Consequences

Chapter 3--    STRUCTURE, SUPPORT, ROUTINES, AND BOUNDARIES

a.    Structure and Support

b.    Low Tolerance/ Overwhelm

c.    Traumaversaries

d.    Role Modeling

e.    Reciprocity

f.     Teaching New Values

g.    RULES

i.         “No”

ii.            Rules should be simple and few
iii.     Positive and Concise

iv.           “Don’t”

v.           Clear messages

vi.            Fresh starts

vii.           Choices

viii.         “Okay?”

              Chapter 4--    NURTURING

a.    Emotional regulation

b.    Calming techniques

c.    Holding a child

d.    Let the child know what is happening

e.    Four types of communication

f.     Greetings

g.    Positive interactions (letter parties)

h.    Compliment sandwich

i.      Speak Softly

               Chapter 5--   DISCIPLINE and GUIDANCE

a.    Definition of discipline
      - Stress/ HALT
      - Perceived safety

b.    Distraction/ Re-direction

c.     Praise appropriate behavior
d.  Concise communication

e.     Encourage use of language
f.    Ignore negative behavior

g.    Timeouts

h.     Time-ins
i.   Bedtime

j.  Physical Affection
k.   Shadowing

l.    “4 Foot Rule”

m.      Fight/ Flight/ Freeze

n.      Teachable Moments
o.   “This is where you say________”

p.      “No” practice

q.    "Overreacting" 
r.   Prescribing

s.    “hmm… how are you going to handle that?”

t.    Behavior charts/ star charts

u.     The five Ps

v.    Age-Appropriate activities

w.     Waiting time/ Transition time

x.    Environments

y.    Off Limit Areas

z.   Off Limit Activities

aa.    “Off Limit” People

bb.    Reasons Children

                Chapter 6--    ABUSE

a.    Physical

b.    Verbal

c.    Night terrors

d.    Fight/Flight/Freeze
e.  Overwhelm/ Low Tolerance window

f.    Shut down/ Dissociation

g.     PTSD - Hypervigilance

           Chapter 7--    MISC

a.    Mental Illness/ co-morbid
b.    Allergies/ other physical causes for behaviors
c.    Food Issues
d.    Lying/ stealing – developmental
e.     Media
f.    Potty Issues
g.  RAD stink/ dysregulation