This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Feeling Overwhelmed

8:40am Get a call from the MHMR reminding me that Bear had a psychiatrist appointment at 11am. Not on my calendar. Let Bear know he was going to have to miss a school field trip for the meeting. Call Hubby because I can't be in two places at once. I'll need him to pick up and take Bear to his appointment and meet me there.

8:45am Bear leaves for school. Normally I would be leaving to drive Kitty across town to school (20 minute drive and she has to be there by 9am), but today she has a doctor appointment to check up on the diagnoses from the psych hospital (thyroid enlarged on one side - they recommended an ultrasound, but wouldn't give the orders. She was also diagnosed with a UTI and put on an antibiotic.

I know that in elderly patients that a UTI can cause dementia like symptoms, but I'm assuming it wouldn't have the same effects on a healthy teen. Anyone have any information? The doc said she thought it would only be a problem for the elderly because they might have renal failure, but this is the same doctor that told me my daughter couldn't be having night terrors because those only happened in very young children.)

I start suggesting Kitty do some laundry (she's got several loads of very dirty laundry to get caught up on). She insists she doesn't have to do chores and it's not her laundry day, so she decides to take a nap instead. *sigh* There are some flaws in our new level system.

9:15am I write an e-mail to Hubby about all the things that need to be covered with Bear's psychiatrist in case I don't get there in time... but find out later that I didn't manage to hit send. *sigh*

9:30am Leave for Kitty's doctor appointment. Stop by the Special school to make sure they have a medication form the psychiatrist needs so the school can continue to administer his lunch meds at school, and to drop off Bear's ticket (I called the number on the back to find out what time we're supposed to be at the court house since it has an appearance date, but no time. Only to find out that the "Appearance date" is just the mail by date for his plea of No Contest, Not Guilty or requesting a trial... which is Friday. I had wanted Hubby to talk to him about it on the way to the psychiatrist.

9:40am Kitty's doctor office has you come in 20 minutes before the appointment, so we're bored in the waiting room. I start talking to a lady with a 1 and 5 yr old. The 5 yr old girl is showing off and mildly acting up (kind of playfully head butting mom, won't stop messing with mom when asked to stop). The woman grabs the little girl by the chin a couple of times and makes some threats to swat her. Kitty starts getting agitated.

10am Finally see the doctor. She decides to allow Kitty to get the ultrasound, and deigns to look at Kitty's hands when they break out in hives and itching while we're sitting in the exam room (I had to insist). Really don't like this doctor! Still not sure what caused it, but they got better after she removed her recently washed sweatshirt and washed her hands.

Bob texts me to remind me I'd promised to get her a doctor's appointment for her ear pain and cough. No health insurance for anyone but Kitty and Bear... *sigh* I get her a 1:30pm appt.

11am Kitty and I run to the MHMR and I leave her in the lobby while I step into Bear's psychiatrist appointment. We talk about Bear's not being good about taking his meds, and I request a sheet listing his diagnoses and IQ so we can take it to court (to try for community service). Bear starts insisting he'll just pay the ticket, but of course he has no job and no money. He of course always thinks that he'll get a job any minute... not that he has time to work between school, therapy and detention. Bear is just focused on the fact that he doesn't want to do community service because that is doing work for free (Hubby and I remind him that he already does volunteer work and enjoyed working at the horse therapy place - which also offers community service hours for many).

Stupid psychiatrist starts talking about how when he was 19 he got a ticket for driving a motorcycle without a helmet or a license, and it was no big deal and has no effect on his life now. I point out that Bear is graduating in 8 months and having a misdemeanor on his driving record (assuming he ever gets a license) could make the kinds of jobs Bear will qualify for very difficult to get (unlike the psychiatrist whose job would probably not be effected by something like this, especially after he got out of college).

I tell the psychiatrist I want Bear's IQ on the document for court and he doesn't understand why since Bear's IQ is average. I tell him No, Bear's IQ is borderline (I know Bear won't understand what this means), and where to look for the IQ is in Bear's records. The pdoc finds it and is surprised. He comments out loud that Bear's IQ is below average at 79. I don't know how I feel about him saying this in front of Bear. On the one hand, Bear needs to understand that he has issues and labels. On the other, is this the best way for him to hear it? Was he even listening? Does he internalize it? Is that why he was in a bad mood later?

11:45am Run by the house to pick up the lunch Kitty forgot and get her some Clair*tin for her hives.

Noon Run to the attendance office at school to get the kids a pass for class (Bear refuses to stop for one and allegedly goes directly to class). While there I brought Bear's med refills to the nurse.

Got a call from the MHMR. They're rescheduling our meeting yet again. I'd asked for this meeting the day Kitty went in the hospital so we could discuss strategies before she was released from the hospital to help us deal with her. They scheduled for Monday even though she was supposed to be home by then. They told me on Friday that they'd decided their supervisor should be there so we could "discuss services" and he couldn't meet until Thursday. Now we're supposed to meet next Monday. Kitty has a psychiatrist appointment on Thursday evening which is when she usually meets with her MHMR skills trainer. So the skills trainer just cancelled and will meet with her the following Thursday (3 weeks since the last time she saw her with a phosp visit in between). Yeah, this makes sense (sarcasm). *sigh*

12:30 I visit Grandma who lives near the kids' school, and she feeds me a sandwich. we get to chat a little about the kids and life. I end up talking to her longer than I should and I'm late picking up Bob.

1:20pm I arrive to pick up Bob, who informs me that Kitty is in the nurse's office. Kitty is sitting with Ms. V and says she can't resist the urge to self-harm. Of course it's a 20 min. drive to the pediatrician and Bob's appointment is in 10 minutes. *arrgh!* I ask Kitty to verbally contract not to harm herself. She says she can only do it if someone is watching her. The counselor, Ms. V, assures me there is an aide in the special ed class Kitty is in. I tell Kitty I'll be back in one hour when the class period ends. Then I'll see how she's doing and stay on campus until school gets out (assuming she feels she can stay).

1:35pm We zoom into the doctor's office. Luckily they aren't busy and see her right away. Not allergies, causing congestion, leading to an ear infection, after all. Just a cold (and lots of ear wax). Already healing. So good news is no antibiotic. Bad news is it cost $90 to figure that out.

2:10pm Run to local pharmacy which just opened and I have coupons! to buy D*lsym for her cough and a snack (but end up picking up a few more items since I got a free discount card). The total comes to over $100! Coupons bring it down to $80, but still way more than I thought it should be.

2:30pm Got a call from Kitty wondering where I am, and saying she's struggling so I reassure her that I'm on my way and we run. I'm assuming I'll be picking Kitty up and going home so I decide not to go by the house to drop off Bob.

2:45pm Check in with Ms. V to see how Kitty did after I left. She assures me that Kitty seemed OK. I have her call the classroom, and I convince Kitty she should stick it out to the end of the day, but if she needs me I'll be doing volunteer work in the library (standard for me - I like to stay busy). Then I vent to Ms. V for a little while until Bob comes in bored, cold and hungry. I tell her we're probably going to stay till school gets out at 4:05pm.

3:45pm I take Bob to the school library with me, but she decides to go to the car and warm up and eat the snack food we'd bought. I put library books in numerical order until school ends.

4:05pm I take Bob home. I return with Kitty to the pharmacy because they had poorly labeled the supplements I bought (looked like they were $2 each, but they were almost $12) so I returned them.

4:25pm Redirect the boys who, realizing Hubby wasn't supervising them, had decided to play Playstation instead of doing chores. Ponito does one chore and disappears with friends. Bear goes to hide in his room (claims his chores are done). Kitty grabs a snack and heads out to stalk in the back yard. I sit down at my computer and start going through e-mails, Facebook, online support groups, and yes, I play a few Facebook games.

5:30pm Hubby takes Ponito to soccer practice. Bear wants to go until Hubby fusses at him for not really doing his chores. I tell Bear he has to go because I don't like having him at home in this kind of mood.

5:35pm Kitty says she's "bored." I suggest she do some chores. She naps for awhile, and then asks to make a phone call. I get her to do a load of laundry first.

630pm Kitty wants to take a shower. I get her to switch over her laundry and allegedly pick up a little of her room floor first.

7pm Kitty's out of the shower and needs something to do. I suggest she make dinner (she likes this). She fills a huge pot with water (didn't realize until it had already been on the stove for 1/2 an hour and still wasn't boiling). She starts a movie, but wanders off after it starts (as usual).

8:30pm Noodles are finally done and Kitty has wandered off. I realize she's used up most of the ingredients I was planning on using for this meal and didn't put them on the grocery list, so there's not enough noodles and not enough noodles to make a good sauce. *sigh*

8:45pm Boys and Hubby come home wanting dinner (I'd thought they were eating out). No one likes dinner anyway so there was plenty.

9pm Finally get Kitty off to bed (so much for 8:30pm). The boys suddenly have homework (Ponito is now grounded from Playstation since this is not the first time he suddenly remembered assignments after bedtime when he'd played all afternoon).

2am So now I still need to send out e-mails to everyone, but instead I'm exhaustedly staring at my computer and blogging.

Guess I better go put dinner away and crawl in the bathtub, and then I can get a few hours sleep before tomorrow.



Mommy Merlot said...

Wow I got tired just reading your blog today! :) Hope you can fit some down time into your schedule at some point! Cannot wait for our meeting in a couple weeks I really need to be around other parents that "get it" not to mention the free child care!

Lisa said...

Sigh....sounds familiar - unfortunately. Hope tomorrow is better - quieter, slower, less expensive :)