Kitty has been sick a lot. Alleged vomiting (always at night), nausea, headaches, sleepiness. Honestly it's almost possible to know when it's real and when it's psycho somatic. I try to be sympathetic, but it's hard when she has so many psychosomatic/ stress related incidents or those caused by her unwillingness to treat her constipation issues. The school has already sent us an attendance letter regarding her unexcused absences. We're trying to get a lot of medical appointments and testing done now because she loses her Medicaid at the end of this month, and we won't have it again until she gets SSI, which probably won't be for a couple of months if not longer.
Another big issue is that Kitty now has a boyfriend. Same guy that she dated as a freshman (I think she hates change enough to go back to him). When she was a freshman he was a senior. He dumped her, probably because she wouldn't sleep with him. She suffered a lot because he moved on to one of her friends, who would not heed her warnings. Obviously our worry that he only wants to use her is even greater now. She got into trouble about 4 months ago, because she was sneaking around meeting him at the grandparent's house.
She of course wants to be able to run around on dates with him, and is furious that I try to rein her in a little (asking her to start with supervised/ group dates and work up to us getting to know him well enough to trust him with her). She's also not acting trustworthy. She breaks the rules when she thinks I'm wrong. She thinks the rules are just because we're being mean. She also believes that the structure and rules we're providing has nothing to do with our concerns about her being ready for older teen responsibilities and is more about the fact that we love and trust Bob more (despite the fact that Bob has the same rules).
By the way, YES, I know I'm overprotective. I also know she's not ready to have the same privileges as a "normal" 18yo (I also don't think any of my kids should be doing what "normal" teenagers do. I grew up in a big city. I know how severe the consequences of one bad choice can be.), but this is not because I'm "mean." I just don't know how to explain to her that she's different from other kids her age without effecting her self-esteem. Plus, of course there's nothing I can really do to change her mind - her perception of reality is so distorted.
As always Kitty wants all freedom and privileges right now!! I know she's only 10(ish) and isn't ready for adult privileges, but I'm open to letting her take the steps (including increasing her responsibilities) to show us that she's ready for more privileges. We're talking about reintroducing the level chart to give her a more concrete understanding of what she needs to do to show she's ready for older teen/ adult privileges and allow her to take steps to attain those privileges. Of course she wants it all to be granted to her without earning it.
This has been coming to a head as Kitty gets closer and closer to graduation. She is freaking out about this huge life change. Not that I can blame her, but it's getting harder and harder to live with her. She's realized that she can't afford to move out. She's demanding that as a rent paying adult, we treat her like an adult, but she's also told us outright that she will not act like one around us. She feels that as her parents we don't deserve the respect that she would give strangers.
Now Kitty is saying 2 years!! *sigh* Part of me wants to encourage her to go. The rest of me knows she would completely lose most of the progress she's made over the last 2 years.
Received a letter from Bear. He said the becoming a Muslim thing was just a test. No idea if I passed or not. Not thrilled at the idea of being tested. Let him know as much when I wrote back.