The Runaway Bunny

When Bob was a toddler we read LOTS of books. I loved to sit and rock her in the rocking chair at bedtime (she hated going to sleep). I'd sing to her and read books then nurse her and put her to bed (I know you're not supposed to nurse them to sleep, but it was the only way to get her to go!).

I loved to read her all the Boynton books including The Going To Bed Book. Goodnight Moon was one of my favorites, so I assumed that The Runaway Bunny by the same author would be just as wonderful. Nope. I hated it.

The premise of the book is that a little bunny decides to run away, and his mommy says if he runs away she'd chase after him.

"'If you run away,' said his mother, 'I will run after you. For you are my
little bunny.'" And so begins a delightful, imaginary game of chase. No matter
how many forms the little bunny takes--a fish in a stream, a crocus in a hidden
garden, a rock on a mountain--his steadfast, adoring, protective mother finds a
way of retrieving him."

I found this creepy and stalker-like. This is one book I actually gave away (ask me how many children's books, including board books, I still have. Did I mention my youngest is 11?).

Now? Now I find that this is what my two older children need to hear. I still would not chase after my kids like the Mommy Bunny, but I will always be here. Bear said he would never speak to me again or allow me to be part of his life, and I told him I would still be here loving him. He then changed his tune a little later and said he might call us on occasion (!!), but he wouldn't tell us where he was and he would not allow us in his life. I told him we would still be here. I don't think he knows what to think of that. Of course he doesn't trust me so he doesn't believe me anyway.

While I was telling him that I would love him no matter what, I was thinking how much I sounded like the mommy bunny in this book. Maybe I should write a children's book for the Forever Child series (fairy tales written for children of trauma - OK stories, but my kids weren't at the right age to read them or able to handle the messages. Might have helped Bob understand Kitty a little better).

Thanks!

Kitty's teacher chose the book Flipped. She said it was because she already had the books and materials. Thanks for all the help and suggestions guys!

Censorship

Don't judge me! I just thought this picture was funny.

When Bob was in 1st grade she was reading on a 4th or 5th grade level. There was another child in her class who had skipped Kindergarten so the girls were almost the same age (Bob has a Summer birthdate). The girls became good friends and I have to admit they were funny to look at. Being so tall, all of Bob's friends are shorter than she, but this little girl was tiny, and African American. They were opposites in all but personality.

Because the girls were the only ones reading at such a high level, the teacher focused more of her attention on the other children. The girls were allowed to choose any reading book they wanted while the other children were limited to specific shelves. I chose to send Bob reading books that were abridged versions of the classics (Dr. Doolitle, Heidi, Swiss Family Robinson...). The other mom let her choose from the library.

I still remember the day I was dropping Bob off and happened to arrive at the same time the other mom was tearing into the teacher. Apparently her child had come home with a book called, "My Life as a Fifth Grader." Her 5 year old had started to read her assigned 20 minutes to mom and in the first chapter the book talked about condoms. The mom was livid! She wanted the book burned. The wanted the teacher and librarian tarred and feathered.

I did step in and offer to let the girl read Bob's books since the teacher didn't have time to help every child find an appropriate book, and the children didn't ask the librarian (who might not have had time either). I remember thinking at the time that there are 5th graders who are sexually active and this book should be kept in the library.

Flash forward 6 years. Middle school is all about current topics that appeal to the kids. Kitty acted in a play called "Men are Slime." She watched a play about bulimia. I had no problems with Bob watching these, but Kitty... no way! Kitty's therapy focused on how all men are evil and she was horribly triggered by Hubby and all men until well after the play was over. She took the play about bulimia as a lesson plan and encouragement.

This school year I got an email from Kitty's Language Arts teacher. All the 8th graders are reading a book called "The Givers." On the surface it sounded fine, but I am so glad she asked me if it was OK for her to read it to Kitty's class because it is so NOT!

The book is about a Utopian society with no emotions (they take pills to suppress these) and only one person has knowledge of the past stored as memories. Jobs are assigned at age 12, and will be your job for life (yes, like "The Bee" movie with Jerry Seinfeld). There is no sex or love (or hate or happiness) and people who want children are foster parents of babies from "birth mothers" who are basically brood mares. The parents stay together until the child or children (max of two - a boy and a girl) is on their own, then the parents separae and go back to living in dorms.

The main character is different because he has light colored eyes so he gets to be the receiver of the past memories. Unwanted members of society are executed to keep the population exact. The boy's father is a "Nurturer" which means he cares for the babies before they are adopted. Babies that do not conform (like one who cries past a year of age) are executed. The boy's father brings home a baby with this problem to see if he can "fix it," but when it turns a year old it will be executed because they couldn't "fix" it - the boy runs away with it and probably freezes to death (the book doesn't say.

Here's why I told the teacher I didn't want Kitty to be exposed to this book:

1. This book is written for children ages 8 and up - developmentally Kitty is only about 4 or 5. She still thinks concretely; the abstract concepts in this book are beyond her abilities.
2. Taking pills is bad, particularly those that control emotions (she takes mood stabilizers and HAS to take all her meds).
3. Families are over when a child grows up.
4. Killing babies and old people
5. Killing children because they are not perfect or do not do what is expected of them.
6. "Birthmothers" are broodmares.
7. Living without emotions, especially love, is possible and preferable.
8. Serious rule breaking (which she has done) is punishable by death.

There were more issues.

So here is what the teacher offered as alternatives:

Call of the Wild
Flipped
The Outsiders

Call of the Wild - Kidnapped dog is taken to Alaska, abused and never returns to his ideal family. There are killings (mostly dogs) in almost every chapter of the book. The animal goes off to live by itself and doesn't need people.

Flipped - Friendly girl moves in next door to a boy and idealizes him and wants him to be her boyfriend. He dislikes her and runs from her - until he hits puberty and decides he likes her. She then pushes him away because he's said for years that she was weird and looked down on her, so he chases her. Subplots - cheating in school that's never punished, father who is sexist, putting down people with mental disabilities, lots of criticism of the worthiness of people because they don't have money.

The Outsiders - According to Ponyboy, there are two kinds of people in the world: greasers and socs. A soc (short for "social") has money, can get away with just about anything, and has an attitude longer than a limousine. A greaser, on the other hand, always lives on the outside and needs to watch his back. Ponyboy is a greaser, and he's always been proud of it, even willing to rumble against a gang of socs for the sake of his fellow greasers--until one terrible night when his friend Johnny kills a soc. The murder gets under Ponyboy's skin, causing his bifurcated world to crumble and teaching him that pain feels the same whether a soc or a greaser.

So what IS appropriate for a 14 year old emotionally disturbed 8th grader and her special ed class to have read to them? Call of the Wild and The Outsiders are out. Death, abuse, and misery - 'nough said. I'm not thrilled by Flipped, but I guess that will have to be it unless anyone (Denise?) has any suggestions?!