This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Speaking of writing...

I met with the local Texas DARS (Department of Assistive and Rehabilitative Services) representative yesterday. I'm still recovering from the flu and didn't want to get up, but I made this appointment over a month ago and didn't want to miss it.

She didn't seem interested in talking to me since Bear is only a junior, but since he's almost 18 she agreed to meet. Long story short, she's encouraging us to apply for services and hopefully he'll qualify for vocational assessment and possibly they can help him get a job or internship this Summer! I'm really excited about this because:
a) I hope this will be a realistic vocational assessment that helps him find a job that actually matches his interests AND ability. The school seems to just ask him what he wants to do (which changes based on who he's talked to that week) and then signs him up for a class or tells him maybe he can take it next semester.
b) If they can get him a job, then he will be supervised and learning essential job skills this Summer!
c) If he has major difficulties on the job and/or gets fired then we have documented proof of his disabilites effecting his ability to work, so maybe we can access services (or pursue legal guardianship if needed) without having to wait until he's legally an adult, letting him fail, and then trying to pick up the pieces (which was the path recommended by his p-doc).

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This is what Bear turned in for his 11th grade benchmark essay. It was typed so he presumably had spell check. Does this seem like he's on grade level to you?

FIRST DRAFT:

The time I felt like an outsider was when I came to Texas to be with my new family that was going to be adopting me. This was weird for me because I met my family once before they sent me to Texas. This meant I had no clue what to think about being adopted and was scared to come to live with them which made me feel like an outsider. I also felt lost and this made me act a little different when I got here to Texas to live with these people I knew nothing about. But for some reason it seamed like every other foster care home I lived in before being adopted. This also meant that I was finally able to live with my little sister again witch meant a lot to me so this is some of the good ways that this has affected my life.
The bad ways this affected my life are it made it harder to see my birth family which were the ones that I really cared about and the ones I felt that would do any thing for me if I need them to. This also makes me constantly worried about my family that I left back in Nebraska who meant a lot to me, like my little sisters that still live with my birth mom. Some times this makes me think what life would be like if I was still there to day like if I would it be different for me in a good way or bad way. This is one thing I think about a lot being with this new family. Why did they pick me over all the other kids in this world? But in the end this all works out with me because of this I think I’m a better person to day! This the way I think being an outsider has affected me and my life


Thanks for reading this and have nice day!!!
Bear
1-18-11
The teacher underlined the words "good" and "bad" (this was listed on his revision checklist as not "high school level vocabulary" - it wasn't supposed to have the words, "good, bad cool, happy, sad, mad" and also wrote “details-senses" and "thoughts-reflections”


BEAR'S REVISED VERSION:
The time I felt like an outsider.

The time I felt like an outsider was when I came to Texas to be with my new family that was going to be adopting me. This was weird for me because I met my family once before they sent me to Texas. This meant I had no clue what to think about being adopted and was scared to come to live with them which made me feel like an outsider. I also felt lost and this made me act a little different when I got here in Texas to live with these people I knew nothing about. But for some reason it seamed like every other foster care home I lived in before being adopted. This also meant that I was finally able to live with my little sister again witch meant a lot to me so this is some of the positive ways that this has affected my life.

The negative ways this has affected my life are it made it harder to see my birth family which were the ones that I really cared about and the ones I felt that would do any thing for me if I need them to. This also makes me constantly worried about my family that I left back in Nebraska who meant a lot to me, like my little sisters that still live with my birth mom.

Some times this makes me think what life would be like if I was still there today to day like if I would it be different for me in a positive way or negative way. This is one thing I think about a lot being with this new family. Why did they pick me over all the other kids in this world? But in the end this all works out with me because of this I think I’m a better person to day! This the way I think being an outsider has affected me and my life. I hope this make me have a better life in the long run to where it can help me help others is my life who are going throw things I went throw in my life lessons I have learned about.

Thanks for reading this and have nice day!!!

Bear
1-26-11

He got an 85. He lost 10 points for the uncorrected grammar and punctuation, and lost 5 out of 10 points for uncorrected spelling.

4 comments:

Miz Kizzle said...

Bear's essay really isn't too bad. It's to his credit that he chose an interesting topic, one that stirs the reader's curiosity. Those of us who were not adopted wonder what it's like. How does it feel to leave one's home and family and everything familiar behind? For a young man who's uncomfortable plumbing emotional depths it was a courageous choice. Yes, he barely brushed the surface of the turmoil he must have felt but he make a stab at it and that's laudable.
Yes, his writing is below grade level and yes, the vocabulary is not extensive but I disagree with the teacher that "good" and "bad" should be avoided in favor of more grandiose words. Ernest Hemingway knew the value of terse writing. Terse can be good. Terse can be very good.
It might help Bear to keep a journal, one that was strictly private. It could help him get in touch with his emotions. He might even find that writing for one's self, without it being a school project or a consequence like the FAIR Club assignments, is a richly rewarding experience.

marythemom said...

I believe the writing prompt was something like, "A time I felt like an outsider."

The vocabulary thing is because this assignment is part of a "benchmark" meaning it's used to compare the student's achievements to state standards. It's not up to the teacher.

According to Bob though, benchmarks are not usually corrected and given back for revisions (Bear's were corrected twice). It's supposed to be a test. Not sure if this is some kind of review/practice or just another way to make sure Bear passes on to the next grade.

I would love it if Bear kept a journal, but he doesn't like reading and writing (partly because they're hard for him).

Mary

FosterAbba said...

I'm not sure that it would make you feel better to know that he writes better than my 15-year-old, but I'll say it anyway.

Meg said...

That's really not too bad. I've read essays from 12th grade kids that aren't in special ed that are a lot worse. He should be proud of that for all he's been through.