Too long in the Car

I visited Kitty in the RTF yesterday. On the way there (it's a 3 hour drive each way), Hubby and I had a long conversation about the kids and our marriage – very draining.

Once at the Center, we had an IEP meeting (I was late for) at 11am, then we were supposed to have family therapy at noon, but the IEP meeting ran late (since we started late and because IEP meetings for Kitty are never simple).

We did manage to squeeze in family therapy from 1-2pm and Kitty was NOT happy (which might be a good thing cause it means we’re getting under her armor).

She started by reading an essay that apparently is a requirement for moving up to the next level. She spoke eloquently and it was well written. It nearly broke my heart. She basically talked about feeling that it was her fault she'd been dumped in foster care. That she used to cry for her sisters every night (who remain with birthmom). That she worries about her sisters still in the abusive home and that they don't remember her (it's been 5 years since she's seen them and she probably won't see them again for a long time).

The hardest part was that she spoke about the pain and not seeing any point in living. She was shut down for most of the rest of therapy.

Afterward we had visitation and she was ANGRY with me for bringing her there and for letting the therapist take away her books (which she’s been using to escape/ dissociate), but didn’t want me to leave early. I hope this treatment helps and we don’t end up worse off than we were before!

On the way home there was a horrible accident about ½ way home in the middle of nowhere. I ended up sitting with a ton of other cars for over an hour. It would move a little every now and then, but that could have been cars giving up and turning around. I kept thinking it would clear up soon and there were no crossroads for miles and I had no idea how to navigate them or even if they would take me far enough past whatever was happening on the other side of the “hill.” Don’t know what all happened, but saw a helicopter leave about 10 minutes after I got there, and a lot of fire trucks. When I finally drove past there was a semi burned to the ground (nothing left but the under carriage and a small part of the back of the trailer).

Of course I’d had to pee, before I got stuck and there was nowhere to “go.” Luckily I made it to dinner with the family without embarrassing myself! Still tired and stressed.