This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Can't catch a break

Bear deliberately skipped the bus, but we can't really prove it. I feel like he's sliding back to the kid we had before he went to residential treatment, but with less rage. We talked to his new therapist today and the therapist asked if Bear is attached to me, after almost 3 years of being in our family. Bear said no.

Been taking Bear to the doctor a lot, something is wrong with his kidneys, but we don't know what it is yet. All we know is they're "working overtime." Had an ultrasound yesterday.

Got a call yesterday(Friday) at 20 minutes to 5pm from the residential treatment center. Our insurance has decided that Kitty does not need to be at the RT and will no longer pay. The RT had their doctor to talk to the insurance doctor, but could not convince them. Nebraska had said they would pay for her care if it was medically necessary, but if our insurance thinks it's not medically necessary, what do you think the odds are that Nebraska will pay either. The best part? Because this happened at 5pm on a Friday, we won't know more until Monday. Which means we're paying for the weekend ($800/day) and any additional days it takes them to decide if NE says no. We won't tell Kitty yet. She's already begging to come home.

The air conditioner upstairs in our house went out last night. All the bedrooms (except Bob's) are upstairs where it was 85 degrees. Got it fixed this morning. For $600, which of course we don't really have, but with temps of 100+ we don't have much choice.

The big client who promised us a very large contract (including giving us a legal letter of intent), called Hubby recently night and told him he'd decided to go with another company because he doesn't feel we could meet the deadline. We've been working with this guy for over a year. Hubby had thought of him as a friend and a confidant. Apparently the latter was the problem.

Hubby is an introvert and very private. While he does not make friends easily or often, he is extremely loyal and holds himself to a very high standard. The hard part is he fully expects others, especially people he has allowed to become friends, to follow these same high standards. It is so hard to find people with whom he has much in common. This client was a fellow entrepreneur who was starting up his own company. Very smart and willing to take risks and be a sounding board for Hubby. Hubby has been telling him about the financial trouble that our company has been having, and now apparently the client/ friend has lost confidence in our work. Hubby feels betrayed and insulted that the guy wouldn't know he would be true to his word.

While this might be a death blow to our company because of the economy, I honestly think Hubby is more upset by the loss of the friendship. He has no idea how to make a new friend. Ironically we saw the movie, I Love You Man, last weekend about a man who has no male friends and is trying to find one to be his best man at his wedding.

Last, but not least we're back to Boldwhat do I want to be when I grow up?! At the beginning of the Summer we were going round and round about the fact that our company wasn't capable of supporting both of us. I even applied for a job, but Kitty needed me at home. Now the kids are back at school, Kitty is in residential treatment (for now), and Hubby is overwhelmed at work and needing help or for me to bring in an income. Will save that for another post though.

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