This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Hubby doesn't want to come home

Life is too crazy around here as usual.

Ponito is still working on paying back his "fine" (has to pay back double the $10 he made) for selling porn to the neighbor's 10 year old.

Bear is ungrounded almost completely except for 3 more days of not being allowed to talk to his girlfriend because they lied about her father dying so she could come over while Bear was still grounded. After several doctor's appointments, the good news is he doesn't have a hernia! The bad news is he has protein in his urine that they can't explain (so for 24 hours he gets to collect his urine in a jug - thank goodness he is old enough to handle this himself!).

Bob is now 13... 'nough said.

Kitty is still waiting for insurance approval for admission to residential treatment.

I am still a stay at home mom so I can keep Kitty and everyone calm and regulated - and take everyone to the therapists and doctor's office (last couple of days that's averaged 3 visits a day). The bad news for me is I'm sitting on my tuckus messing with my computer all day and all night (insomnia) and I now weigh over 200+lbs. Last time I weighed this much I lost 40lbs in the next 3 days and gained my beautiful daughter, Bob. *sigh* The good news is I now have the time to do aerobics every day.

I'll have to get a picture of the whole crew doing aerobics. My 4 children, my niece (age 7) and nephew (age 10), and my mom (won't tell you her age! ;) ). We were all working out to Richard Simmons, but Bear insisted that Richard is too gay, and he can't handle it. My personal theory is he doesn't like the fact that he is not very coordinated and has trouble following along.

So today we tried Gilad. You canNOT say that Gilad looks gay! You can however say that his sessions are very HIGH impact and much harder than Richard's. The girls all dropped out. The little boys did pretty well (they're pretty active and wiry). Bear hung in there, but he couldn't do the steps right, and I'm betting he'll be sore tonight. He insists it's Gilad or nothing though. Tomorrow I'll have the girls do Richard and I'll teach the boys how to modify Gilad to low impact.
You can definitely tell Bear and Kitty have got some coordination issues and problems with their brain wiring. Kitty is also very overweight (mostly due to the medications). The girls had their well checks yesterday and Kitty weighs less than 1lb more than Bob. Bob is over 5 inches taller!
Hubby is still sane (though I don't know how) with as little sleep as he gets from all the stress. He found out today that we're being sued by a former employee for backpay (we owe it to several, but so far so good on the others), add that to me being sued by a former client, and that's a lot of bad news. We've talked about bankruptcy, but don't know if we can afford the lawyer. Hubby is as honest as the day is long and doesn't want to welch on anything. I don't either, but I'm trying to be practical.
The property for the business is officially foreclosed on, but we do not have to be out just yet. Our new rented office space will be ready on Monday. We've been packing... slowly. It's hard to do because I don't feel comfortable leaving the kids (even with Grandma). I'm so upset that Nebraska is dragging their feet on this. Kitty should have been almost out by now!
I hardly ever answer the phone anymore. Almost every call is a debt collector or an agency offering to negotiate debt solutions. I spend most of my time on the computer, but between the new website I'm helping start, all the blogs I read (245+ blog posts I was behind on) 125+ e-mails, and 3 pages here... even when I stay up until 5:30am (did I mention my meds don't help with my insomnia) I can't seem to catch up.
I don't blame Hubby for not wanting to come home. I wish I had a magic wand that could fix everything. OK, enough whining! Going to crawl into the bathtub with a trashy romance novel and pretend I don't have kids!


RADOnline said...

Showing you and your husband + kids some RADTastic love!!!


Recovering Noah said...

Dang, that sucks. We're having to make some tough decisions about therapy. We just can't afford anything anymore and our cc's are maxed. Even got declined on a $25 purchase two days ago. It all goes on therapy....*sigh*

Thinking of you.