This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Warning: Tear jerker!

The following are the kids' letters. For the first two, any spelling errors are typos on my part except for one "her" instead of "here" at the bottom of Ponito's letter. They were written neatly and legibly.

Ponito: Age 12, starting 7th grade

Dear Mom,

I'm sorry for however amount I hurt you.

All during the soon to be creepy parts {of the movie- he could tell by the music which parts were "creepy"} I left to go do something else. I feel really bad for what I did. The reason I watched the movie was because I got bored and didn't realize it was PG-13 till the end and by then I was already into the movie.

I'm sorry and I promise never to do it again.

I will do all of my responsibilities when I have to do them.

If you don't believe me I don't care if you keep an eye on me and know exactly where I am at all times.

The way I'm going to make it up to you is I'm (When I'm here) going to help you make dinner every time I'm her for 2 weeks


Bob: Age 15, starting 10th grade

Dear Mom,
I am sorry I broke your trust. I get that you thought I could be trusted in not watching an inappropriate movie or with telling Grandma others shouldn't be watching it. I guess the reason I watched it was I was bored, I had wanted to see it anyway and I knew that you didn't want us to see it, but I wanted to see that movie so badly. And I didn't want Grandma to know that it was PG-13 because then I couldn't watch it. I think our relationship is based on trust, and by breaking your trust I damaged our relationship. i don't want to break our relationship because I don't think I could live without you. {*sob*} I realize you're having a hard time putting up with all of us kids most days, and it probably doesn't help that some of us are contributing to issues of others. I can probably guess why you would be mad, and stressed, and feel we broke your trust. I don't know what I could do for restitution, maybe you could help me think of something. I'm really sorry for what I did. I want to promise it won't happen again but truth is it probably will. I guess all that's left is to ask for your forgiveness. So....

will you forgive me?

{After we talked about restitution and she "read" the resititution page, she added this:}

I will make Dinner for 2 weeks.


Kitty: Age 16, starting 10th grade (this was scrawled almost completely illegibly):

Dear Bear,

You make me feel bad when you do stuff with the other kids and not me. I makes me fill like you hate me. Like when my birthday cames around you never take or buy me any thegs And you take Bob {asked me how to spell} to the moivees almost every Birthday {asked me how to spell} and you play with Ponito {spelled wrong, and FYI he does NOT have a tough name!} oyitae time. And I don't hate you but when you gat {can't read this word} werv your are all sewty whech means you smll and that why I don't want to sit by you in the care {I believe this means, I don't really hate you - which is what she'd recently chosen to tell Bear instead of why she actually didn't want him sitting next to her in the car- which is that he's all sweaty when he gets in the car after work and stinks. She thought THAT would be rude.}

your sister Kitty

So Here are some way you can make me feel Better

han out like sibling and you can help me {can't read} when I ask.

and maybe we can play on computer together and we can play a Boring game {LOL -this is what they think we are saying when we say board game}.


Bear's isn't done yet. He turned it in, but I handed it back because it wasn't complete.

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