This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Monday, August 8, 2011

32 Rules for Grandma to know

Grandma had requested a list of rules that the kids are supposed to follow, but don't always tell her about like Be in bed by 9pm (which I'm pretty sure didn't make it on their list!). Here's what the kids came up with:

Specific to Bob:
1. I can't watch Pg-13 movies without permission.
2. No adult books - unless Classic.
Specific to Kitty:
1. Can't nap
2. can't get unapproved books from library
Specific to Bear:
1. No use of Nicotne (nicotine)
2. No Parenting (bossing around siblings like he's the parent)
Specific to Ponito:
1. Can't ride bike to park (without adult supervision)
2. Can't go to _______'s house till permitted (this is the neighbor at whose house Ponito was watching rated M for Mature video games).

This was supposed to be 32 things so that combined with their personal 2 it came to a total of 40, but the kids chose to cheat and add them together. They felt I should be grateful that they added a couple extra. I have to say I'm disappointed in the kids' effort at this, but anyway here's the list:

  1. Family Guy (It's a TV show they're not allowed to watch)

  2. Transformers (movie " ")

  3. American Dad (I guess it's a TV show?)

  4. Pop-tarts (I don't allow them because they're sugary, fatty and have little redeeming food value!)

  5. Facebook

  6. PG-13 movies

  7. R movies

  8. T (rated T for Teen) games

  9. M games

  10. caffeinated drinks

  11. no electronics until 1pm

  12. no opposite gender friends upstairs

  13. door open when more than one person in room

  14. no friends over when Grandma is babysitting at our house

  15. no TV-14 (it's a television rating like PG-13)

  16. Teen Nick (it's a channel)

  17. Cartoon Network (also a channel -has SpongeBob on it - nuff said)

  18. ABC Family (channel that advertises a lot of inappropriate shows)

  19. energy drinks

  20. coffee/ tea

  21. playing on Internet

  22. high sugar food

  23. white flour food

  24. shopping w/o adult

  25. wandering church (instead of being in Sunday School or church)

  26. food upstairs

So here's what I would add:
27. Phone calls shouldn't be more than 10 minutes
28. No parenting/ bossing around/intimidating/ patronizing/ deliberately antagonizing siblings (or adults!)
29. Hands to yourself
30. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all
31. Grandma is the boss when parents aren't home - treat her with respect!
32. If parent is working from home, Grandma is still the boss - leave Dad out of it!
33. Always make sure an adult knows where you're going, how to contact you, and when you're coming home (this doesn't mean whispering it while they're sleeping) - and you better be SURE you have permission to go.
34. Make sure Grandma knows before she gives you permission to do something that it's against family rules
35. No electronics before 1pm AND all the family chores are done AND your personal chores are done.
36. No whining and/or begging for food, stuff or privileges from Grandma - she is not your personal Santa Claus, chauffeur or chef!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only parent who bans Sponge Bob. When I found I couldn't prevent my kids from watching it via free-on-demand, I cancelled cable completely. I had someone ask me why I disliked the show so much and I said "it is too odd, and my children are already odd enough." Now if only they'd stop showing those horrible shows in pediatric waiting rooms!!