Flour and Sugar and Oatmeal... Oh my!

The three oldest kids are getting confirmed (joining the church as an adult member) in the church this weekend. Even Bear has been participating in the classes and activities, although suspicious me always assumes it's just so he can get out of the house and away from us. There is a reception on Saturday for family and friends and the families of the 18 confirmands have been asked to bring snacks. We could sign up to bring cheese, fruit, or brownies/cookies. I decided it was cheaper to make the brownies/cookies than to purchase cheese or fruit plates. So that's what I signed up for... for all 3 of my kids... 6 dozen cookies/brownies... EACH!

So for the last few days I've been making and freezing 18 DOZEN cookies and brownies. Having no idea what all I'd need I bought in bulk. I AM AN IDIOT. I bought a 25lb bag of white flour (we only use whole wheat)... used maybe a pound... at most. Bought 4 lbs of butter - used a little less than 3. Actually that worked out about right. Bought a 10lb bag of sugar (we don't use sugar at our house). Never even opened it because we had some left from something else. I think it's 2lbs of brown sugar which I used a little of. Bought a pound of cocoa we never opened because brownies call for chocolate squares not cocoa. Bought a case of quick oats (we only use old fashioned). Used about 1/2 of one of the two packages.

I now have 16 1/2 dozen cookies (oatmeal raisin and chocolate chip) and 4 dozen brownies in my freezer.

So what do I do with the rest of the ingredients?!

Ponito's school is having a carnival this weekend and they could always use items for the cake walk. Do I spend the next 2 days baking billions more cookies? I'd have to buy more ingredients (eggs and butter mostly) to use up the ones I have.



Plus Kitty's birthday party is this weekend, she claims she invited four friends, and I need to make the Harry Potter cake she wants that looks something like this ----------->
and get the house and kitchen clean. Something is wrong with the dishwasher or the water softener so when the kids wash the dishes they open the dishwasher, decide it isn't clean, and re-run it! Needless to say it still doesn't get clean and neither do all the rest of the dishes that are piling up in the sink (and counters and stove top...).


I might be able to take back the sugar and cocoa since they haven't been opened, but I still have over 20lbs of white flour. YIKES! No one in this house needs to be eating more baked goods - especially those with white flour and real butter and sugar.

Magical thinking

Bear thinks he's normal.

When kids are little, they call it Magical Thinking. Could be positive thinking I guess. All I know is that whenever we discuss a diagnosis, medication or issue, Bear gets mad - at us.

We've talked to him about this repeatedly. We are not labeling him. We are not doing this to him. We are trying to identify triggers, symptoms and issues so we can help him deal with them.

Today the argument was about food.

Bear is a Midnight Muncher. He has always had difficulty sleeping and he is a sugar addict. I'm always finding evidence of his food raids in his room (usually moldy remains). I've found cans of icing, candy wrappers from bags of candy, empty coke cans, plates smeared with pie filling, pizza or spaghetti sauce, melted ice cream, apple cores.... I rarely buy sweets, so some of this must be coming from school.

Last night he took several pieces of Kitty's candy in his nightly food raid. When she came to me I asked her why she'd left her candy where he could get it. To be honest, all the children know he steals so I have a lot less sympathy. She'd thought he wouldn't find her candy bag because she'd put it in the freezer. However everyone had heard me tell her that wasn't a good place to put it. In fact I'm guessing that Bear heard this as permission to take it since she was warned not to leave it there.

I asked Bear to give me his candy bag, because I was thinking of giving her his candy, but of course he had eaten all his candy. Not sure what consequence to give him instead.

I mentioned that his eating in the middle of the night is probably related to the trauma of his childhood. That it is common for kids who grew up when there wasn't enough food to hoard food. This ticked him off. He said we always blame things on his issues, but that it isn't true. He's just a teenage boy who is hungry all the time. I let it drop.

Hubby and I talked about it later, and it occured to me that Bear takes Seroquel, which is a mood stabilizer that can cause weight gain. He's been on it for awhile. Plus, Bear is not like most starving teenage boys in that he is done growing. His growth plates are closed.

Bear is always talking about being fat. He is not fat, but of course he doesn't believe me when I say so. He is an active kid.

Bear and I were alone on a trip to the video store, and I brought up the food thing again. He immediately got defensive and kept raising his voice (not yelling but intending to intimidate). I told him to quiet his voice several times.

I mentioned that most people do not eat in the middle of the night. He rebutted with, he's a teenage boy and he's hungry all the time.

I mentioned he's done growing. He claimed it was going to muscle. I told him that HE was the one always saying he was fat, not me, but it was not healthy. He said he could eat what he wanted because he was active, unlike other members of the family (I let that go).

I did talk about med causing the hunger, but he disagreed.

We stopped talking for a bit. Then moved on to how we were going to solve the problem.

Telling him to quit eating in the night hasn't worked. Telling him to eat more during the day just got him saying he's always hungry and it doesn't matter how much he eats during the day, and we don't provide enough food at meals. Of course he never asks for more.

We'll talk to the psychiatrist about possibly changing his meds.

So I suggested Bear eat peanut butter sandwiches at night - ONLY. He then said that he can't eat generic peanut butter. So I told him fine, but he needs something with protein or he'll crave more (and I don't want to wake up to no bread in the house). He hates cheese so that's not an option. He couldn't think of anything else, so now he's agreed to only eat two pieces of bread and nothing else. We'll see what happens.

Cheese makes you fat

I was cleaning off the kitchen counters when I noticed that one of the two bags of cookies I'd bought the day before was waaay too light. *sigh*



I rarely buy sweets, and this was intended as dessert for a meal. The kids knew that, and usually if the package is closed they won't be the first to open it without permission. Immediately I knew it was Bear.



On the phone with him that afternoon, Bear admitted to eating the entire 1 and 2/3 packages of cookies although he did of course justify his behavior.



They were already open (most likely a lie).

Anyone could have had some (but no one else knew they were open Bear!).



******************Back History*************************



Saturday afternoon

The day we bought the cookies I had all 4 kids at the grocery store (yes, I already know I'm a masochist - you don't have to point this out). Bear was "starving" and like most of the kids didn't want to be there. I quickly pointed out an advantage of shopping on Saturday is the multitude of free samples. So the kids grazed as we shopped and it kept the natives from being as restless.



In the deli we came upon a display of cheese with a very nice lady offering free samples. Sixteen year old Bear immediately, very rudely, stated loud enough for everyone to hear, "I hate cheese. Cheese makes you fat." To which I quietly replied, having heard this many times before, it's OK to not like cheese, and too much cheese can make you gain weight, but this particular kind of cheese is better for you than others (it was a white cheese versus say yellow American). To which he of course replied, "Cheese makes you fat."



The lady joined in at this point and stated cheese doesn't make you fat. Bear of course stated, "Cheese makes you fat." I immediately scooted out of the area as fast as possible, and let the subject drop.



Sunday on the way home from church in the car.



Ponito and Bob start talking about all the yummy food they have available to them in Sunday School. Ponito mentions that he had at least two brownies, some cake, and was talking about donuts. Bob states she had several brownies and couldn't stop eating donut holes until someone helped her by closing the box. I questioned the fact that Ponito was obviously in the youth area, and he assured me that Bear had taken him (I asked Bear to stop doing this. Ponito doesn't belong in the youth area). Ponito then squealed on Bear's snack gorging. Last week, Kitty was complaining because Bear keeps coming into her Sunday School class so he can eat donuts. She claimed he had 5 donuts (Bear said it was only 4).

I've always wanted to walk up to people who bring all this junk to Sunday School and point out that they are NOT really doing the kids any favors. What about kids with diabetes or food allergies? You could potentially kill a kid! Yes, most kids this age are old enough to deal with the consequences of pigging out, but do they really want to be responsible for the one (like mine) who can't?
I do admit I'm mean to the sample distributors at grocery stores. When my kids rush in front of me and are given samples, I often come up to them and ask, "Did you just give a sample to my 13 year old daughter without parental permission?" They usually are extremely apologetic and start asking about food allergies. Their policy says that all children under 14 must have parental permission. Bob obviously doesn't look 13, or 12 or 10... I've been doing this awhile! *evil grin* I always reassure them, but, if it makes them stop and think next time... then I feel like I've made a difference.

Kitty pointed out that everyone should stop talking about all the sweets at Sunday School, or Mom would fix it so they didn't get them anymore (Smart girl!). She does try very hard to not do things she knows she's not supposed to (and make sure I know about it).



Learning opportunity!



I started by mentioning that sugary sweets have empty calories and are more likely than cheese to make you fat (see how I tied that in there?!). Then I immediately assured Kitty or Bear, I forget which, that no, I don't think they are fat.



We then talked about how sugary treats make some of them hyper (Kitty).



Then I introduced the concept of sugar crashes. That unlike protein, your body uses up the calories quickly and you get tired, depressed and irritable.



At which point I let the subject drop.



Within an hour of getting home, Ponito then did a beautiful demonstration of a sugar crash. He and I talked about it afterward (after he'd had a chance to cool off in his room), and I think this really drove it home for him. We also talked about the fact that he is 1/3 the size of Bear so he can't eat the same amount of stuff and not expect it to hit him harder.



*****************Nutrition lesson complete********************



When I discovered the near empty package of cookies, I decided to confirm that it was Bear that took them, by looking for the other package in his room (have I mentioned there are some major advantages to him being a packrat who can throw nothing away?). For once I didn't find the package (which makes me think he took it to school and sold off the cookies that he didn't eat), but I'll tell you what I did find in the next post.


Bear as you know confirmed that he had eaten the cookies. At the dinner table that night the subject came up again, and I have to admit I took a potshot at Bear. I pointed out that cookies were more likely to make you fat than cheese. The mention of cookies immediately made Kitty think of the cookies that we'd bought at the store recently so she asked for them for dessert. I told her that I'd love to have the cookies for dessert, but Bear had eaten them all.

Too mean?

Food issues -Letter B - Barbecue Birthday Bash

I have to admit, these letter parties make planning meals a lot easier. The kids get involved and there is more thought to it than - "start a big pot of water boiling and I'll decide what to throw in it when I get home." We've had very little leftovers too.



So tonight was going to be leftovers, but at the last minute my sister called us and asked if my niece and nephew could stay with us afterschool through bedtime (her afterschool care provider had an appointment and she had a date**). Her kids are extremely picky eaters and will usually go home and eat Kid Kuisine or beg for fast food (their usual fare - which I think is personally pretty yucky!).



My sister and her kids lived with us soon after her divorce. Her son especially did not eat vegetables. I still remember him walking around with a single pea like it was cyanide. It once took him literally 20+ tiny nibbles to eat a 1 inch piece of green bean.



My favorite story though is the night we had spaghetti and green beans. He'd been living with us for awhile so he knew veggies were required when his Mama wasn't there to protect him from them. In those days, we required kids to eat at least one piece/bite of veggie per year of age. He was 7 years old.

He'd eaten all his spaghetti and brought his plate to my husband for more noodles. My husband asked the dreaded question, "Did you eat your green beans?" My nephew looked at my husband with a serious expression and said, "I ate two and I chewed 3." Confused, my husband asked, "Are they in your tummy?" My nephew solemnly shook his head. Hubby and I still LOL about him chewing green beans and then spitting them back out?!!

I asked my sister about it later, and she said she was ok with it, because at least he got some vitamins from the juices he chewed out of them. Crazy.

Ironically, the spaghetti he was eating was my Confetti Spaghetti.

Confetti Spaghetti

• Frozen vegetable medley - broccoli, cauliflower, carrots (chopped in blender while still frozen until they are the size of confetti)

• Baby food - spinach (sometimes I use, green powder, Green Soup or a few capsules of Juice Plus Garden Blend)

• Tomato sauce

• Finely chopped mushrooms

• Italian seasoning

• Browned ground turkey and whole wheat noodles.

So tonight my niece and nephew got to choose our letter and meal. They picked the letter B.

For our Barbecue Bash they chose:

Barbecued Pork (we like pork chops instead of ribs because it's cheap, there's more meat, and no bones)
Baguettes (they were part of a meal deal at the grocery store - the kids had never seen long, skinny bread like these! Being white bread, they were VERY popular with my crew).
Baked potatoes (again not something we usually eat because I prefer whole grain starches and we get enough carbs elsewhere).
Baby glazed carrots (made with Smart Balance butter and sugar-free syrup, yum!)
Baked Beans
Broccoli
and for dessert...
Birthday cake! No, it wasn't really anyone's birthday. We just made a 2 layer boxed cake mix and iced it. We talked about candles and stuff, but no one bothered. Bear complained because he doesn't like chocolate (I know! I can't imagine either.) I had some sorbet in the freezer so he ate that.
All that complaining he did, and then he snuck down in the middle of the night and snuck a huge piece of cake (he tried to cut it so it wouldn't be obvious, but it was). I know it was him, despite his protests that he hates chocolate, because he apparently has a serious sugar addiction. Every time I search his room I find tons of candy wrappers, empty dishes with utensils stuck to them, empty icing cans (*grrr*), lots of soda cans and Monster drinks. I didn't bother to accuse him, just asked him to make sure he didn't leave the dish in his room. He said he thought he did (thereby confessing) and actually semi-apologized. I let it drop.

Forbidding Sweets
My sister's theory is that if you forbid sweets and other junk food then the kids will just crave it more. I see her point, but my kids deal with obesity, eating disorders, hoarding, gorging because they can't tell when they are full, and sugar-induced mania. We do try to have lots of healthy food and snacks always available.

When we go out to eat, we allow soda pop, but usually limit it to one glass. We encourage at least semi-balanced meals, and allow dessert (if it's in the budget). We don't eat out often though. I only buy whole grain bread and flour, sugar substitutes and skim milk. I consider Lunchables and Kid Kuisine to be expensive cr*p.

Kitty calls me a Healthaholic. I have friends that are a lot "worse."

Due to a med change and going off her Concerta for a Summer, Kitty put on 70lbs in 6 months. Despite med changes she still hasn't been able to drop back to a healthy weight. Part of her image of herself involved being skinny (and she liked to rub it in Bob's face), now she looks like she is pregnant (most of the weight is in her belly and chest), and she's miserable. She frequently threatens to starve herself and now that she's back on Concerta she skips a lot of meals, but at other times she gorges herself (no purging though thank goodness). I want to help her, but I definitely don't want to aggravate her food issues.

Bear was overweight as a child and didn't slim down until he moved in with us (foster dad didn't cook so they ate out for EVERY meal). He has a pretty distorted body image of himself too - the stretchmarks and sagging man boobs don't help. He never goes anywhere without at least a wife beater on.

Biomom is a large woman and Bear's biodad was over 300lbs (at only 5'8"). Both children equate weight with biofamily. It REALLY bothers them that I have gained so much weight, and spend a lot of time on my computer.

How do your kids handle weight and body image?