Corpus Callosum - Edited

I tried this test of the corpus collosum (Thanks STS!) on the 3 youngest and myself, but I'm not sure what to do with the information. I'll test Bear and Hubby tonight and add the results here.

The test is to see how well the two hemispheres speak to each other through the corpus callosum (which is a bundle of nerves that connects the two brain hemispheres together). I had the kids sit on a stool and rest their hands behind their back (so they couldn't see them). Then I touched the ends of different fingers on their left hand and they were supposed to touch the corresponding finger on the right hand with their thumb. Then I switched hands. The middle two fingers were the hardest to keep straight for all of us.

Kitty went first (because she trusts me more! I love saying that!). She had a pretty tough time, especially with the middle two fingers. It was equally tough with both hands. She is not considered to be dyslexic which this test can be a sign of, but she does have learning disabilities.

Bob - pretty good. Just a few mistakes. We questioned dylexia with her because she reversed entire words all the way through 1st grade, but we couldn't get anyone to test her because she could read (tried to explain to the school that the two had nothing to do with each other, but they said the only test they were allowed to give was letter recognition which of course she would pass with flying colors so we let it drop. She did grow out of it or learn to accomodate for it - I'm not sure which).

Ponito - the best of all of us. No questions of dyslexia for him ever. I'd say his corpus callosum is working perfectly.

Me - the kids really enjoyed testing me. I did OK. I do have mirror dyslexia so I thought I'd do pretty badly, but I think I was about average.

I've also asked my favorite neighbor if she could test her family too, but her family isn't exactly neurotypical either... *grin*

So test yourself (well, you can't really test yourself) and your family and see how y'all do!

Edited to add:

Bear - Bear was not surprisingly not thrilled about doing this, but he complied. The girls weren't there when I had Ponito show him what it looked like. It was very brief, but the results didn't really surprise me. He stunk. He missed a lot/most? of the finger touchs, and he had difficulty getting his thumb to his fingers (not nimble at all). I'm pretty sure he realized it and that's why he quit pretty quickly. I was able to keep him going by switching to the other hand when I saw him shutting down, but even that didn't last.

Kitty Assessments

I spent all day yesterday talking about Kitty and getting her assessed and now I'm even more confused!

So yesterday morning Kitty and I had the initial interview with the psychologist for Kitty's psych eval. I really liked her. As usual, I brought in tons of documents including the psych eval from last August. She wanted to know why we wanted another psych eval - she had a good point. I was interested in getting her diagnosed for bipolar disorder, but she's already on 3 meds for it (Trileptal, Seroquel and something else). The psychologist said it would be very difficult to "tease" out the bipolar from the ADHD and other issues. I think what I might really need is just someone to explain the results.

One thing she mentioned was that Kitty's IQ is only 76 - borderline mental retardation. We've always believed that Kitty doesn't present and test well due to all the trauma, moves, learning disability and ADHD, not being stable on her medications yet, and not being comfortable with the testers - so we were working on the assumption that in reality her actual IQ is higher; however, the psychologist said that if she can't adapt or adjust well that this could actually be lower. (Kitty's EMDR therapist believes that our initial assumption is correct and that Kitty is actually higher functioning than this).

The psychologist (after Kitty left the room), pointed out that we did the right thing by keeping Kitty in a small classroom setting. That she would not be able to handle all the chaos, stimuli and social issues that go along with being in a regular classroom. She also noted that the previous psych eval had included a lot of academic assessments. Her biggest concern was that Kitty doesn't appear to be able to generalize information so a little time each day teaching her tips and techniques (which is all I figured she needed) would not be enough or very helpful. Right now Kitty is working on about a 5th grade level (she's in 7th grade). She is not making big leaps in the academic area so I'm afraid she's going to continue to be 2 years behind. She'll already be 19 when she graduates. Add on 2 extra years or more (as things get harder I worry she'll get further behind) and she may never graduate! Did I mention Kitty's current goal is to be a surgeon?!

The meeting took only an hour so I decided Kitty should go back to school (Kitty was not thrilled!). We went to Salvation Army and picked up appropriate clothing for school (didn't make sense to go all the way home and then all the way to the school when she needed more uniform pieces anyway), took her to lunch, and took her to school. My car is on the critical list, so my Mom drove us around. After we dropped Kitty off, we went to the middle school closest to Kitty's private school (according to the law they are responsible for Kitty's assessments and providing special services because she attends a school in their district) to meet the woman in charge of assessments. I'd already given her a heads up that I would be coming by to pick up and drop off paperwork, rather than mailing them (I am not a patient person).

So here's my biggest concern. Kitty's private school, while very willing, does not have the capability of providing more than minimal accomodations for Kitty. They do not even know how to read an IEP and as far as I know have never bothered to read the one Kitty came with last year. I doubt seriously that we could get the school to train them or provide a one on one aide at the private school. It's really starting to sound like Kitty will need more than a couple of hours a day of help. If the school district insists she needs to be enrolled to be able to provide all the services she needs then I have to decide if I want to pull her from the private school. She has to be in a resource room environment (which I would have to fight for), and since she is so high functioning, I worry that she's going to look around and give up because, "everyone thinks she's stupid."

I'm this close to deciding that the new psych eval is unnecessary, plus we think we will have to pay the $1500 insurance deductible, but if the school district assesses her and decides that they can't accomodate her at the private school, then I will need something showing that she shouldn't be mainstreamed with inclusion help (which was their plan in 6th grade- regular classes with 15 minutes a week of in class assistance!). I'm guessing that proving she is mentally retarded (based on her low IQ and inability to adjust) might force them to allow her the resource room classroom.

So most of the paperwork is turned in, now I just have to wait for actual assessments.

Mary

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Quality time! That's the 5th Love Language I couldn't remember! It's a big one and Hubby's primary.

We've done the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman about 1/2 a dozen times in Sunday school classes. It's a required book for marriage counseling for engaged couples for some churches (a really good idea by the way!). I highly recommend it. I thought I'd give y'all a quick summary.

Basically everyone has a primary love language. This is how you know people love you. You can tell someone you love them until you are blue in the face, but if their love language is physical touch and you rarely touch them - they will not believe you love them!! This is especially important with children in my opinion, but in all relationships knowing their love language (and your own) keeps you from getting frustrated and relationships from ending miserably. It's not totally obvious sometimes what someone's love language is, and some people are "bilingual", but generally here's the highlights.

1. Physical Touch - a big one with guys. This is physical affection (obviously), touches, kisses, hugs...
2. Acts of Service - this is how my Mom expresses love (although it is not her love language). This is doing things (making a meal, knitting a sweater, getting up and getting a drink for someone, mowing the lawn, paying the bills, taking out the trash...
3. Words of Affirmation - this is me and my Mom! This is being told you are doing a good job at something, saying "I love you," little love notes, even wolf whistles...
4. Quality Time - this is spending time together. (This is Bear big time! If you are not spending time with him, listening to him talk then you do not love him!) This doesn't have to be talking, can be just watching TV together, going places together, looking into each other's eyes...
5. Gifts - this is one of the few that Hubby and I do not have at all! It is however one of my Dad's, if not his primary. Not that everyone doesn't like getting gifts, but this person has a special place in their heart for the gift. It is a symbol of that person's love for them. They can tell you where they got it, who gave it to them and under what circumstances. They usually keep it in a special place and take great care of it. Think the Last Doll in The Little Princess movie/book.

Children need ALL FIVE languages and do not have a primary love language until they are early elementary age. This makes a lot of sense if you think about it. Babies especially need ALL of these things done for them.

There are tests you can take (here's one although it's not a great one - http://www.greaterquest.com/LoveLanguages.asp ), and reading the book(s) really helps, but even then, sometimes it's hard to tell what people's love languages are. Some are obvious, like Bear, others not so much. Sometimes how they express love is a good clue, but that can be altered by experience (for example, my Mom is ACTS OF SERVICE all the time, but her love language is actually Words of Affirmation. I don't know if she was taught to do acts of service - a generational thing, or, more likely, she learned that if she does things for others they are more likely to praise her and give her the words of affirmation that she needs).

There is a 5 love languages book for children as well. They suggest a test if you really can't figure it out of trying by completely removing one of the love languages and seeing if it makes a difference (like not touch the child for a week). I suppose the opposite would be to go crazy with one and see if the kid blooms (that would be my preference - especially while we're still trying to get some of our kids to attach!). My kids would love treats and presents for a week!

Finding out someone's love language is essential! Basically it effects people's self-esteem if no one loves them (and if you're not speaking their language then you "don't love them!"). Also, if your "love tank" is empty then you are unable to give love or really even function well. You need love! Because half my kids are attachment disordered they are not going to fill my love tank. Dealing with them regularly drains it in fact. Because I am the only Words of Affirmation speaker in the house (that I know of!), it is not easy for me to get the words of love that I need to function. I have learned to encourage others to speak in my language (they can be taught!! *grin*) and I have learned to go elsewhere for ways to fill my tank. This is one reason I blog!! I love hearing from others that I'm doing a good job.

I have no idea what Bob and Kitty's languages are. I was thinking of trying the experiment of giving them tons of one language for a week and seeing how that worked. Then I started thinking that with Kitty, emotionally she's still only 4-6 years old, which means she still needs ALL of the love languages. I need to step up ALL the languages for her and see if that helps with some of the behaviors this week.

I also talked to her therapist and I'm trying to get Kitty set up for psychological testing for bipolar disorder. Will let you know how that goes. Speaking of which, I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon to see if I'm going to go back on a mood stabilizer - preferably one that doesn't cause me to gain weight this time. Better get back to work now!

Mary

Here's some articles about it too. http://marriage.about.com/cs/communicationkeys/a/lovelanguage.htm
http://www.sharedpaths.com/personal-growth-tools/5lovelanguages.html