This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Residential Treatment?

At this point we are strongly considering the residential treatment center (RTC) that Bear did so well at, for Kitty. There are some major differences between the two kids that might effect the outcome though. Kitty is sick so Hubby and I went to therapy without her. We had a good talk, but I'm still torn.

We broke down the advantages of the RTC based on our experience there with Bear.

  • This RTC is well-known for it's neuro-psychological assessments - which our insurance won't pay for outside the RTC. However the AT did mention that while our personal insurance won't pay for it, Medicaid will - if we can find an excellent neuropsychologist who takes TX Medicaid.

  • Unlike other programs, this one is fully paid for by Nebraska if our insurance or state won't pay for it. For as long as we need it (Bear was there 6 months). Our insurance would most likely pay for a MAX of 6 weeks. TX Medicaid doesn't pay for RTC.

  • Bear's meds were adjusted until he finally received what apparently was the right cocktail. However her current psychiatrist actually consults on a regular basis with the RTC, so he could easily do what they would - if he had the neurological assessments.

  • When they "muck with" her meds she won't be home to take it out on the family.

  • The whole family will get a break from her increasingly frequent verbal abuse and meltdowns, and it might "break the habit" for her.

  • After the trouble with the PDH (unsafe environment that triggered her PTSD, fight, flight or freeze reaction), I'm feeling guilty about sending her away to another facility - even though I know hindsight is 20/20. I worry if the RTC environment is similar she will think I don't care enough to keep her safe. (I hear so often that she thinks I don't care about her, I guess I'm starting to believe it). However this is NOT the facility that asked if we were "OK" with our son getting beat up.

  • Poor Kitty already has major abandonment issues, and obviously feels that if we send her to an RTC we are sending her away forever (like when Biomom sent her to foster care and then terminated parental rights). The AT reassured me that she doesn't think Kitty will hold it against me.

  • My biggest concern is that sending Kitty to an RTC would damage the "anxiously attached" relationship we have. This facility appears to have no experience with RAD or other attachment issues. Therapy there seems to be pretty much a joke. However, now we know that we can complain, and if we really hate the therapist or have concerns, we can complain to her supervisor (didnt figure this out with Bear until the last week).

  • This RTC is semi-nearby so frequent visits are fairly easy.

During her meltdown at the grocery store this evening I realized that Kitty's issues with jealousy over Ponito and need for his childhood to be as miserable as hers, are not going to be easy to ignore. She hates Grandma for loving Ponito and treating him as "special." She accuses Hubby and I of loving our biokids more than her, and giving them things, letting them go to friends' houses, not punishing them when they do something wrong.... I know this is her perception and not reality, but just like you can't make someone believe you love them, I can't convince her that she's wrong, while still protecting the other kids.

1 comment:

Jaz said...

Choosing the right residential treatment center can be difficult, whether for you, a loved one or a professional client.