Why I hate garage sales!

Let's see...

Saturday

5:30am- Finish getting dressed and walk to the end of the block to put out our garage sale sign.

6:45am - I was so tired I unthinkingly gave Kitty her lithium. Forgetting that she was supposed to have her lithium levels tested that morning. Meaning now she couldn't be tested until Monday, which means her test results won't be back on Monday (her last day at the PDH). *sigh*

7am- I finally had the garage sale I've been planning to have since I started piling anything we didn't want in our 3 car garage - completely full of crud again even though it's only been a year since our last one (at which point I had sworn to myself -never again!). Walk to the end of the block to make sure our garage sale sign hasn't blown away (it has). Jury rig it.

7:15am- one of the early birds who saw my ad (finally placed at 9pm on Craigslist the night before), complained that wasn't my garage sale supposed to start at 7am? I politely informed her that I'd had more stuff then expected, and was doing everything myself so not everything was out of the garage yet (all my sister's stuff was on the driveway, OUR stuff was still crammed inside waiting for me to drag it outside). How rude!

7:3oam - in the middle of my Little Red Hen whine about not getting any help with this stupid garage sale that I didn't want to have in the first place, after all who needs more than a trail through their garage, it's starts to drizzle. Several of the "salers" kindly point out that the forecast clearly said it was going to rain today. (Of course it ALWAYS seems to rain when I have a garage sale - but the good news is that I won't have to worry as much about sun burn or heat exhaustion. This is Texas and Summer started months ago). I ignore them as I continue to drag out all the furniture by myself. Kids come out occasionally to look through the stuff I've managed to get out and beg to be allowed to take something inside, or threaten that they better get ALL the money made from the sale of their precious items.

7:45am- I put a serious gash in my calf while moving furniture and decide that maybe the blood will get me some sympathy sales. (It didn't, all I got was a disgusting wound that grosses out everyone who sees it and will most likely scar.)

8am- I pull one of the kids away from their rousing game of "splash your sibling in the face while playing in the puddles of dirty water accumulating in the street gutter," and send them in to get Hubby to help me lift the top bunk of the wooden loft bed in place. I also have him and Bear bring out the world's heaviest sleeper sofa since I can't move it by myself.

8:30am- I give up on pulling out stuff from the garage and collapse in exhaustion on one of the now damp couches. It's just a little drizzle, and will most likely stop soon. This is Texas after all, if you don't like the weather, wait a minute and it will change.

Grandma shows up to watch the garage sale while I take Kitty to the lab appointment. That's when Hubby informs me that I gave Kitty her meds. Since Grandma has offered to watch my sister's kids while my sister goes on a date, it makes no sense for her to drive home then turn right around and come back. So I ask mom to watch the sale while I run in and get some breakfast. Another big rush of salers means that doesn't happen (I don't price my stuff so I'm the only one that can really make any sales. Means no one else can work the sale, but saves me a lot of time pricing what isn't going to sell, will be bargained over anyway, and prices might run someone off.)

9am - rain is getting worse, but much of the stuff came from my sister's garage so I couldn't have fit it all in the garage anyway. Try covering up some of it, but the rest just had to get wet. After threatening her with her life, Bob finally gets me a glass of water and a box of cereal.

Bear has decided to "help" with the sale. He assists one couple with loading some lightweight but awkward stuff. He pockets all the money from "his" items, and sells the bike he got for Christmas for $5. I fuss at him a little for it and he gets offended and leaves.

9:30am - Sister drops off her kids and everyone but me goes inside. Thank goodness for Grandma, because usually it's a warzone in there when I can't supervise my 4, let alone all 6.

10am- a lovely couple from Brazil hide in the garage from the rain and seach the rescued books, videos and toys. She carefully dries each and every book and video as she stacks them back neatly in the bins while she searches. I give her a great bargain on the stuff she chose.

10:15am- It is now pouring down rain so I start lugging in sopping wet items. Do you have any idea how heavy a soaked rug weighs? I pull in the cushions from the couches, but the couches themselves and the recliners and most of the rest of the furniture have to stay outside in the rain. I stack them in a corner of the driveway, cover them with a tarp (useless since they are already soaked) and hope that the neighborhood association doesn't fine us for leaving them there.

11:45am - Grandma takes my 4 kids and my sister's 2 to McDonalds.

12pm- a man comes to pick up a piece of furniture he purchased. He very nicely helps me move in the few furniture pieces that I can fit in the garage.

12:30pm I start throwing the soft goods in the washer to spin out the excess water and then in the dryer. These will all be donated to a local thrift store. About 6 loads and one exploded pillow later, 4 trash bags are ready to go.

1pm Collapse in exhaustion on the bathroom floor. Too sore and tired to crawl in the bath (plus not sure what to do about the gash on my leg). Finally just dry off and put on dry clothes.

Finally count out the sopping wet money (luckily managed to save the one check I accepted, from a neighbor). The sale grossed about $200. My sister only took $30 (even though it was mostly her stuff that sold). Bear pocketed about $20. I gave $10 to Ponito, who helped as much as a 10 year old can with the set up. Bob got $5 because she helped a little with bringing stuff in. Bear got $2, he helped a lot with carting over all my sister's stuff, but he also got to pocket some money from the sale. Kitty got $1, because while she spent almost the whole time inside, she did do a couple of things for me without arguing too much, and I didn't want her to think I love the other kids more than I do her (not that this will convince her of course).

So all told I made a little over $100. Not bad. I also could barely walk for 3 days because of the sore muscles, and had a driveway full of furniture that no one wanted - not even charities. Found out it would cost $500 to have it hauled to the junkyard. This is the point where I got smart. I put an ad on Craigslist offering all the furniture for free! One couple was there within 1/2 an hour, but decided against the world's heaviest sleeper sofa. The next morning the wicker loveseat was gone.

Hubby and I ran back to the house this mornign when I realized I'd left my cell phone at home and needed some aloe for the sun burn I got on my left arm from driving our unairconditioned car around yesterday afternoon (I hate being fair skinned). There were 2 tiny college students in our driveway planning on picking up all the furniture with one pickup truck. Cool environmentally responsible volunteer program put on at the University of Texas in August called UT's Trash to Treasure.

Poor Hubby, I volunteered him to help them load (they make me look buff, and the girl had been in a bike accident recently so was only able to use one hand). They'll have to come back for 2 more truckloads at least, but our driveway will be clean by tomorrow and we might actually be able to fit a car in the garage again! (Of course the garage door is broken so we can't actually get a car in there, but it's the thought that counts right?!).

So next year when I say I'm thinking about having another garage sale - someone please stop me!!!!

Edited to add: Had a couple of guys come into our business to talk us into partnering with them. While showing them around, I mentioned we had an old plotter that came with the business 2 years ago that we couldn't get rid of. Next thing I know he offered me $10 for it! SOLD!