This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Sunday, August 12, 2012


We heard from Bear on Thursday.  He got the packet filled out for a public defender.  No one from bio family came to court, including his bio father whom he still hasn't seen, even though he's been in the same state for almost 2 months.  I convinced Bear that it would be in his best interest to get back on his meds, and that while I would help, he needed to start the process on his end.  

He spent most of the expensive 15 minute collect call asking me about whether or not we were going to give him commissary money and would I find out why his girlfriend wasn't answering his collect calls from jail.  He asked me to text his girlfriend,  “Shorty,” and ask her.  I told him I wanted her real name, because I refused to call her Shorty, even if that’s what her parents called her.  When I texted “Shannon,” she replied that this was Bear’s “other girlfriend.”  Turns out Shannon is NOT her real name… not even close.  Bear doesn’t even know her real name!  She also told me that she’s only 17 and doesn’t have a job, so she can’t afford to accept Bear’s collect calls.

I finally spoke to the jail administrator on Friday.  I told him I wanted to know how to get Bear back on his meds.  He asked which med, and I had to tell him that Bear’s been off his multiple meds for so long that he’d have to titrate back on, under the care of a psychiatrist. 

The administrator said that Bear was an adult now, and they couldn’t put Bear on meds against his wishes.  I told him that I understood that, but he’d just told me that Bear had put in the request to the nurse already.  He started to tell me that this was up to Bear as an adult, but when I explained Bear’s issues to him, he accused me of not doing ENOUGH.  I pointed out that Bear is an “adult” and living in a different state, I can’t force him to take his meds anymore than the jail administrator can!  It was a pretty frustrating call.

I faxed the jail administrator’s copy of Bear’s med list, a letter from his p-doc that stated his major diagnoses, and this letter.  When a public defender is assigned, I'll send him this documentation as well.

Mary Themom
123 Our Address
Our City, TX #####
(###) ####-#### (home)
(###) ####-#### (cell)


To Whom It May Concern,

Bear ________ is diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Cerebral Dysrhythmia (brain injury – specifically causing issues with memory, processing, mood control, and impulse control ),  and Reactive Attachment Disorder.  He is diagnosed with a full scale IQ of 79, although his verbal skills are higher giving him the appearance of understanding more than he actually does.  He reads and writes on a 5th or 6th grade level or below and will need assistance completing and understanding written documents.

Until March 2012, he was taking:
Mood Stabilizer:              Trileptal (Oxcarbazepine)- 600mg am and 1200mg pm
                                       Lamictal (Lamotrigine) – 200mg am and 200mg pm

Anti-Psychotic/ Sleep:     Saphris  - 5mg bedtime
Anti-Depressant:             Wellbutrin (Budeprion XL) - 450mg am

Bear chose to stop taking his medications against the recommendation of his psychiatrist:

Dr.  M, M.D.
Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist
Community MHMR
(###) ####-####

Without his medications, Bear’s issues become considerably more severe and there is a question as to whether or not he is mentally competent.  He will struggle to control his anger, depression, impulses and other emotions.

Please contact me with any questions and for any needed documentation.  Attached is a list of the medications Bear was taking before he stopped and a letter from his psychiatrist

Sincerely,

Mary Themom (mother of Bear _____)
(###) ####-#### (home)
(###) ####-#### (cell)


Bear tried to call on Saturday, but he called my cell phone (which costs 3x as much collect and he knows we prefer he call the land line) so I didn't answer.  Found out today that the fax I thought I sent Friday afternoon somehow messed up our phone lines and they haven't worked all weekend.  Now I feel guilty.  *sigh*  

1 comment:

Mom of bp child said...

Mary, I would write to and call some aggressive criminal defense attorneys in the area Bear is in and explain to them his background and issues and see if someone will take his case pro bono. I would beg and plead. He is going to need much more than a public defender and most attorneys take 1-2 pro bono cases/year for people who really need someone and simply can't afford it. He really needs someone sharp to get the courts to empathize with his background/diagnosis. The strength of his legal counsel will make all the difference in the world as to how this turns out for him for the rest of his life.