Sweet Sixteen

Kitty saw this cake at the grocery store and decided she wanted one like it, except she wanted Elmo, for her 16th birthday party. Looking back I realize I probably should have looked at a picture of Elmo, but she was happy. Struggling to Stand already took me to task for all the red food coloring (it was even red velvet cake).

Kitty is constantly calling me to come pick her up from school. This recent episode has regressed her back to an anxious attachment and if she's not attached to my hip, she's afraid she's going to hurt herself or she just doesn't feel good. If I'm not right there and totally sympathetic and giving her her way in everything, then she feels unloved, and she starts ramping up. To top it off we're dealing with some birth mom issues too and the stupid bank can't seem to get an escrow issue really fixed so keep calling us to say the house is in foreclosure (it's their mistake, we've been walking through it with them for many months, they say they fixed it, then call again demanding payment - they returned the last two payments!) - which scares the heck out of Bear and Kitty.

Kitty's been on the Trazad*ne for a little over a month (for sleep issues, but it's also an anti-depressant which can trigger mania), but the psych hospital tripled it because she was so terrified about being there, that she couldn't sleep. They told us to drop it to doubled (100mg) when she came home. They also put her on Proz*c, despite my protestations, because they said she'd only been "going downhill" for the last few months and since she was suicidal and therefore "needed" to be on an anti-depressant, it would be "fine" because she'd been stable on the mood stabilizers (Trilept*l and Abil*fy) for years, and they would keep her from going manic.

I've been pushing for an anti-anxiety med for months because I felt Kitty needed to be rediagnosed with an Anxiety Disorder in addition to the bipolar, etc. I was pushing for Clonip*n, but they said that was only PRN (which I know is not true). They chose Proz*c because it addressed both anxiety and depression. The side-effect of daytime sleepiness didn't bother them. They just said switch her to taking the Proz*c at night. I finally put my foot down because she's NEVER had self-harming behaviors before and after less than a week on Proz*c she'd begun clawing herself and begging me to never leave her alone (so I could keep her from harming herself). Tuesday they switched her to Cel*xa and the self-harming urge has faded to the point she can mostly control it herself, but she still is suffering from anxiety (headaches, nausea, clinginess...). She's constantly calling me to come get her from school after only one class.

She hasn't been on it long enough to say it's making things worse though. Today I took her in to her pediatrician and discovered she's suffering from allergy congestion so bad she's almost completely clogged (so no feelings of nasal stuffiness because it's practically solid and she's used to it).

Monday I had taken her in and they finally cleared out the ear wax in her ears that had completely blocked one of her ears to the point she failed the hearing test on it last week (every doctor has mentioned she had a lot of wax, but no one did anything and apparently what I did was ineffective). Ironically being able to hear better has made her even more sensitive to noise, so she's even less tolerant of school than before - which I didn't think was possible.

Now I'm looking at the chronic stomach aches with a new eye. I'd always assumed they were from her chronic constipation, anxiety, or psychosomatic, but it could be nasal drainage, GIRD, or something else.

How do you know?!

Currently we got the school to agree to 1/2 days (alternating mornings and afternoons so she doesn't miss all the same classes), and got the pdoc to sign a note saying ALL absences are excused from April 1 (the day she got out of the psych hospital)! The school has been amazing, especially since she NEVER shows any signs of issues at school (except for almost daily visits to the nurse with headaches and stomach aches). It's been 2 years since she was last in a psych hospital and I almost wish we'd not been doing everything we could to keep her from escalating, since we're finally getting some cooperation and changes made.

The other children are still having trouble too.

Bob has managed to strain all the muscles on her ribcage from coughing so is constantly in major pain and 800mg of Motrin doesn't even touch the pain. Plus she's too young for muscle relaxants and allergic to codeine - so options like hydrocodone are out. To top it off, sometimes she just starts bawling for no real reason, and I'm really starting to worry about adolescent onset BP for her.

Bear is struggling with all the trauma triggered by watching his sister deal with the police and going to the psych hospital (reminds him of his not too distant past).

Ponito is just hitting adolescence and so is experimenting with talking back, lying, not doing chores (no one else is doing them right now either) and generally being belligerent as only a tween with mentally ill older sibs of trauma for examples can be. "I hate you." "I'm going to kill myself." "You don't love me..."

Most days I'm handling it, but days like today... well, lets just say my BP and PTSD were triggered and let it go at that. Luckily Hubby was able to come home and help. So it's 12:30am and I'm on my computer trying to decompress and hoping I don't have more stress dreams about being dressed like a hooker in highschool with scary old men hitting on me when I dropped my lunch tray, not being able to find my documents, and adopting a teenage girl (not one I already have. ANOTHER ONE) who thinks I did something to her mother, all while trying to clean up after a wild birthday party in which my youngest and his friends were all dressed up like authentic Samurai warriors... oh, and for some reason I have to take them all to the grocery store with me for a major shopping trip...

Can You Hear Me Now?

• Kitty has been complaining for over a year that her ear feels blocked. When we go to the doctor for other things I have them look at it, and they usually say there's a lot of wax and we might want to use Debrox or something, but nothing to worry about. The psych hospital though said that her ear was completely blocked. So I used one of those bulb syringes and flushed her ear out with Debrox, warm water, and hydrogen peroxide. As part of the evaluation process, the school tested her hearing, and said she still couldn't hear out of that ear!


• So on Monday, since she only had a half day of school, I took her to the doctor, and they flushed out both her ears. Gross! Suddenly she could hear again!! (yes, they tested). Unfortunately, she discovered that she was much more sensitive to sounds and it added to her anxiety level. *sigh*

Responses to comments

• First, I want to apologize to everyone for how the posts are reading. I swear to you I've done everything I can to get this stupid program to put spaces between paragraphs. I've entered multiple spaces (like 10), I've tried typing a period on each line between paragraphs. Nothing works. So thank you for all of you who managed to make it through! I'm going to try bullet pointing and see if that helps.


• I tried responding to your comments in the comments section, but Blogger ate my comment too! Aargh! So I'm going to give my abbreviated reply here:


• 
  

  Miz Kizzle: Does Kitty know anyone who actually had a "super sweet sixteen" party with all the expensive trimmings?



• No, but apparently she saw that stupid MTV show ("My Super Sweet 16") while in foster care, plus TV shows and movies (like "16 Wishes") and the movie "Bratz." Honestly though I don't think it's about the party itself, because this came up too often in therapy when we were talking about something she didn't want to talk about. Whenever Kitty wants to distract/ dissociate, she asks for something she know she can't have (like, "let's leave right now and go to McD because I'm staaaaarrrrvviinngg!"). This party has been coming up in therapy for months.


• 
  

  
  

  Tracey: I can't help but think that to some degree if Kitty is being treated like a mental patient she will act like one. I find I have a lot of success with my 14-year-old daughter by reinforcing the idea that she's a "normal" teenager. She's not, of course... she came to me at age 11 with RAD, PTSD, ODD, ADHD, possible Bipolar, and of course a long history of trauma and loss. She was angry and violent and destructive and off in a fantasy world most of the time. She was in a group home and on the verge of being declared unadoptable.

  
  

  I know all kids are different but I can't help but think that learned helplessness is a valid concern here. I praise my daughter for being "normal" and reinforce how far she's come and how proud I am of her and she just beams. She still has her moments, of course, and plenty of them. But we talk about why the behavior occurred and what she could do differently the next time.

  
  

  As for school... My daughter became a zillion times more happy and successful in school when I STOPPED being involved. When I was involved she would leave class (and the building), have tantrums in the classroom, one time she even tried to strangle herself while sitting at her desk. Finally I basically just threw up my hands and told them to deal with it, and oddly enough that has made an enormous difference for everyone. She actually started to realize that it's easier and much more fun to be normal at school.



• What a coincidence! Kitty also came to us at age 11 and had similar diagnoses, but your daughter's behavior sounds more like Bear. Kitty was angry and destructive early on, but it tended to only come out at home (once she left foster care and moved in with us - before that she acted out everywhere, but was not yet considered unadoptable). She tried to keep the school from seeing it. Bear tried to as well, but had a MUCH harder time accomplishing this until we got his meds correct.


• I do try to keep school and home separate. Sort of a, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." Most of the time it works, but I think there's a big difference between your daughter and my kids - IQ, brain chemistry and the ability to adapt. My kids have low IQs and brain damage that affects their memory and processing. They want to be normal, but it's not that easy. School's focus is on the short-term - academics, behaving in school, and getting the kids to pass to the next grade and graduation. My focus is on the long-term - helping them become happy, healthy, productive citizens able to have relationships and learn what they need to be able to get and to keep a job.


• **************


• I feel like such an idiot. I finally got around to reading the side-effects of Proz*c which is Kitty's newest med... and discovered that one of the common side-effects is daytime sleepiness! So maybe Kitty isn't as overwhelmed as we thought. Maybe this isn't a slow recovery. Will alert the pdoc tomorrow.

Home from the hospital - Now what?

Kitty came home on Friday. We had a quiet weekend (Boy was it hard to keep her home from Grandma's on Saturday night and have to miss our date night, but we knew she needed it). I decided not to send Kitty back to school until we'd made a plan with the school about how to proceed. . . . Tuesday morning, Kitty had a pdoc appointment - no med changes, but next appointment is in 2 weeks and gave us some quick dissolving Abilify tabs to use if Kitty starts to have a meltdown. . . . A couple of hours later we had a school ARD (to revise her IEP and approve further testing). Kitty had told me she felt uber stressed during her 2 general ed clases and lunch. "Plan B" was to rearrange the seating in the general ed computer class so that another child who is willing to help Kitty (less embarassing to Kitty than having inclusion help), to let her go the the learning lab when her general ed speech class got overwhelming, and we helped her think of several alternatives for who to sit with and where at lunch to decrease the stress. All of the rest of Kitty's classes are special ed so already have small class sizes and easier assignments. . . . Wednesday Kitty went back to school, and called me to pick her up right after lunch. Here's the e-mail I sent Thursday evening when I realized that things were not getting better, even on "A day" which Kitty told me weren't as stressful:

Hi guys, Well, obviously Plan B did not work. Here’s what happened from Kitty’s point of view: Yesterday, “B day” Period 5, DIMM (computer class): Went well. The seat change putting B (student) next to Kitty to subtly help her, Kitty claimed it helped. Period 6, Speech: Not good. It really upset Kitty that the teacher didn’t know what was going on (probably our fault for keeping Mr. J (Assistant Principal) after the meeting so he ran out of time to talk to the teacher). Kitty apparently did get to spend the time in the learning lab as planned, and went to some of her teachers to get makeup work to work on during this period. Lunch: Thank you Mr. J for coming up with a Plan C and D for this. Apparently the first option (asking her friend to eat outside) wasn’t an option because the friend was talking to Kitty’s ex-boyfriend, P, who likes to tease her. Second option (sitting with friend, M, in the cafeteria) didn’t work because M was in the hospital, but Kitty found another friend to sit with… until he left. Then Kitty hung out with another male friend, but got too close to ex-boyfriend who teased her about hugging the male friend. Period 7, Science: Kitty was given several make up assignments. This overwhelmed her and she called me to come home. She went to the AP’s office to wait for me – where Mr. J found her “vibrating” and moved her to a quiet conference room. Wednesday evenings we do volunteer work with kids and horses, so we went, but we had Kitty mostly do quiet work instead of working with her usual “exuberant” client. Today, “A day” Period 1, PE: Went “fine.” Period 2, English: Got fairly caught up. Took a test she "might have to take again." Felt it went OK. A Lunch: Sat with a quiet friend. Period 3, World Geography: Given a makeup assignment that the teacher told her needed to get done in class. Kitty didn’t think she could get it done and left to go to the nurse where she called me to come home. Kitty is feeling a lot of pressure (seems to be mostly put on herself rather than the teachers) to get caught up and do well. She doesn’t want to go back to school tomorrow and to just start with a clean slate on Monday (which starts the new 6 weeks). To lighten her feeling of pressure, I suggested talking to her science teacher about cutting back on the assignments, prioritizing them, working on them in the learning lab (since she doesn’t have an assignment in speech), and taking advantage of the fact that she has good grades to just coast through this. Kitty was still too overwhelmed. If I’m going to get Kitty to go to school tomorrow I really need someone to call me with a plan. She agreed that I could bring her in after lunch (since she hasn’t been to last period math yet), but she really wants to just skip it all. When I picked her up she was depressed and let me know she doesn’t feel “safe” (which means she is having suicidal thoughts again). Please call me at (###) ###-#### and let me know how to proceed. I’m also not sure who I should be informing/alerting when I pick Kitty up. Mary (###) ###-#### " Saying "no" is not being negative. Negative is saying "yes" to things that are destroying you."

I sent Kitty to school Friday morning and told her I would meet her there and tried calling EVERYone in the school, but couldn't get hold of anyone for quite awhile. In the meantime I talked with Hubby about what we should do. Oh my goodness, we are sooo on different pages. Hubby is having a really hard time with Kitty not getting over this and getting back on track. All my NAMI classes have reinforced to me that Kitty is going to take a long time to recover, but even I struggle a little with the feeling that she's "getting away with something" or never going to try to progress - learned helplessness. I think after a long talk, Hubby did realize that nothing has gotten better and in a lot of ways was worse. Kitty was declining and a hot mess of anxiety before she went to the psych hospital. The hospital exposed her to violence, kept her from her family, triggered memories of past trauma, increased her sleep med (which did help) and added an anti-depressant - which takes weeks to get to full strength. Now she's got make-up work and emotional healing to do, so of course she's overwhelmed. Hubby is still not convinced that picking her up whenever she feels bad is the right thing to do (she might not ever go back to school!). ******************************************* I FINALLY got hold of someone at the school and Kitty's casemanager sat with her for all of second period helping her prioritize and work on assignments. The CM assured Kitty that she would be given an incomplete in whatever classes she needed them in and she has until graduation to get it done (Kitty is only a freshman). The CM said Kitty was out of it, lethargic, sleepy and couldn't do things that normally didn't give her problems. The CM was convinced. I sat with her and the AP and we decided that Kitty will do half days for awhile (alternating between mornings and afternoons). Kitty's pdoc is willing to write a vague, open-ended note stating that Kitty needs to miss school - so we don't have to worry about truancy. I picked Kitty up after 3 period (there are 4 periods in a day). At least she made it a little longer today. She seems comfortable with the changes. ******************** On another note, Kitty has been obsessing about her "Super Sweet 16 birthday" for MONTHS. She wants this big, expensive party with lots of friends, and brings it up whenever she doesn't like what we're talking about (usually in therapy). She knows that we can't afford it and don't think she can handle having a lot of friends over. No matter what I do, she tries to work it into a big battle - sounding as though it's in a couple of days, instead of not for months. Finally her birthday really is in a few days. Today she quietly said she wants it to be just a family party. Still wants lots of expensive presents though!

Developmental Stages - Six to Early Adulthood Transition

I've been saying for a long time that Kitty is about age 6 years old, but I realized it had been a while since I'd reviewed what the developmental stages entail. I think Kitty has actually progressed. Although Kitty was chronologically ("calendar age") 11 years old when I met her, emotionally/developmentally she was about 4 (when a major trauma occurred). She's lived with us 4.5 years, and she has come a LOOONNNNGG way! I've been saying she's about age 6 for the longest time because I remembered that 6-year-olds are the "police of the playground," but in reviewing these stages, I think she's closer to 10 (no higher since she isn't able to grasp abstract concepts very well. Bear doesn't understand them at all).

Here's a good Developmental Stages Chart

GIRLS 6 TO 8

(from Child Development 101 - Austin Therapy for Girls)

Here are some behaviors and developments to look for in your daughter of this age:

• Your daughter may view things as very black-and-white, right or wrong, good or bad, with little gray area in between. For example, she may talk of having a “best” friend and an “enemy.”
• Children this age enjoy copying down designs, shapes, letters, and numbers, but may still write some printed letters backward.
• Attention span begins to increase around this age, and your daughter may begin to show more pronounced interest in projects, creating extravagant collections, building things, and reading.
• Hand-eye coordination improves at this age, as your daughter may begin to tie her own shoelaces and become skilled at using scissors or other small tools.
• Friendships become increasingly important. You may notice that your daughter begins to prefer friends of the same gender.
• At this age, children begin to be able to see others’ perspectives but are still very self-centered. They find criticism and failure especially difficult to cope with and show strong motivation to do things correctly and impress others.
• Your daughter likely still struggles with logic and cannot grasp abstract or hypothetical concepts.
• You may begin to notice your daughter’s developing ability to distinguish between left and right, as well as starting to understand time and the days of the week.
• Children this age often enjoy caring for and playing with younger children. 

Ideas for parents:

• Children this age often show enthusiasm for rules and rituals. Provide opportunities for your daughter to hone this understanding by playing simple table games like cards, tic-tac-toe, or Candyland.
• At this age, children relish a sense of accomplishment. Offer opportunities for them to help out and feel they’ve achieved something, such as building models, cooking, crafting, or playing an instrument.
• Another great idea to make your child feel that she is helping out and that her input is valued is to try working regular family meetings into your family’s schedule. Check out our blog post on family meetings for suggestions on what this might look like: http://austintherapyforgirls.com/2013/08/family-dinners-are-important/
• Make sure your child has ample opportunity for active play, such as jumping rope, tumbling, or playing ball.
• Foster your child’s social development and sense of cooperation by offering noncompetitive team activities like completing a puzzle or building a fort.
• Children this age are curious and eager to explore. Bring your child to new places like museums or different workplaces where she can learn and expand her understanding of the world.
• Encourage reading and writing by helping your child write stories, create and perform plays or puppet shows, or conduct experiments.

SIX YEARS

§ Six - Six-year-olds have longer attention spans and continue to prefer structured activities to more open-ended experiences. They enjoy taking on new roles and responsibilities, but still require much direction and guidance from adults and frequently ask questions to ensure that they are completing tasks the right way. 
§ Social and emotional development-  six-year-olds are confident and delight in showing off their talents. They start to display an increasing awareness of their own and others' emotions and begin to develop better techniques for self-control. Six-year-olds enjoy sharing toys and snacks with friends, although conflicts among peers may remain quite frequent. Predictable routines are important sources of stability and security for children this age. Six-year-olds also draw emotional stability from their interactions with adults with whom they feel secure, particularly during challenging situations and circumstances.

SEVEN YEARS

§ Seven - Seven-year-olds enjoy having the opportunity to share their knowledge with others. They display a longer attention span and the ability to tolerate less-detailed directions and last-minute changes. Seven-year-olds are curious and frequently ask adults and peers questions to satisfy their need to know. They utilize increasingly complex and creative strategies to solve problems at home and at school. 
§ Social and emotional development-   seven-year-olds enjoy having and making friends and take pleasure in imitating the actions of friends and peers at school. While they typically prefer structure and routines, they may also choose to work or play independently when frustrated. Children this age often choose to develop games with rules and are likely to treat peers with respect during play. In addition, they start to experiment more with handling their emotional and social lives independently; they show that they can take some initiative socially and that they have the capacity to understand others' actions and feelings.

EIGHT YEARS

It's not until age 8 that the child's belief system syncs with their behavior.  This means:  "Just saying to a child, 'You know this is wrong. Why do you keep doing it?' may not be an effective strategy before the age of 8," Davis-Kean said. "Younger children may know it's wrong, but they haven't associated that knowledge with their own behavior."

§ Eight - Eight-year-olds enjoy having the opportunity to solve problems independently. They are able to concentrate on tasks for longer periods of time and begin to use their own resources prior to seeking adult help or they may seek out peers for assistance. Eight-year-olds demonstrate more highly-developed thinking skills as well as the ability to solve problems with creative strategies. 
§ Social and emotional development-   When interacting with others, eight-year-olds enjoy sharing their viewpoints on a variety of topics. They have a clearly developed sense of self-worth and may express frustration in response to activities that they perceive as areas of personal weakness. Eight-year-olds begin to understand the concept of masking emotions and can vary their use of coping strategies to deal with challenging situations. In peer interactions, they may start to engage in leadership, goal-setting, elaborate fantasy play and an assortment of interactive games. Eight-year-olds still rely on adults for a sense of security, but are proud of their independence and will want to express it. Under emotionally stressful circumstances, they will seek adults in less direct ways but still need contact.

NINE YEARS

§ Nine - The nine-year-old has definite interests and lively curiosity; seeks facts; capable of prolonged interest; can do more abstract thinking and reasoning. Nine-year-old boys and girls differ in personalities, characteristics, and interests; are very group and club oriented but always with same sex; sometimes silly within group. Boys, especially, begin to test and exercise a great deal of independence. Is most interested in friends and social activities; likes group adventures and cooperative play. 
§ Social and emotional development-   Morally the nine-year-old is very conscious of fairness; is highly competitive; argues over fairness; has difficulty admitting mistakes but is becoming more capable of accepting failures and mistakes and taking responsibility for them. Is clearly acquiring a conscience; is aware of right and wrong; wants to do right, but sometimes overreacts or rebels against a strict conscience.

TEN YEARS

§ Ten - Socially the ten-year-old is affectionate with parents; has great pride in father; finds mother all-important. Is highly selective in friendships; may have one best friend; important to be "in" with the gang; may develop hero worship (Kitty, obsesses about a particular boy or actor). 
§ Social and emotional development-  The ten-year-old is concerned with style. Is casual and relaxed. Likes privacy. Girls mature faster than boys. Not an angry age; anger, when it comes, is violent and immediate; seldom cries but may cry when angry. Main worry concerns school and peer relationships. The ten-year-old has a strong sense of justice and a strict moral code. More concerned with what is wrong than what is right.

ELEVEN YEARS

§ Eleven - The eleven-year-old challenges adult knowledge; has increased ability to use logic. May have interest in earning money. Is critical of own artistic products. Is becoming interested in world and community; may like to participate in community activities. 
§ Social and emotional development-   The eleven-year-old is critical of adults and is obnoxious to live with. Strives for unreasonable independence. Has intense interest in teams and organized competitive games; considers memberships in clubs important. Anger is common; resents being told what to do; rebels at routines. Often is moody; dramatizes and exaggerates own positions (e.g., "You're the worst mother in the world!"). Experiences many fears, many worries, many tears. Morally the eleven-year-old has a strong urge to conform to peer-group morals.

TWELVE TO FIFTEEN

§ Twelve to Fifteen - Thrives on arguments and discussions. Increasingly able to memorize; to think logically about concepts; to engage in introspection and probing into own thinking; to plan realistically for the future. May read a great deal. Needs to feel important in the world and to believe in something
§Withdraws from parents, who are invariably called "old-fashioned." Boys usually resist any show of affection. Usually feels parents are too restrictive; rebels. Needs less family companionship and interaction. Has less intense friendships with those of the same sex; usually has a whole gang of friends. Girls show more interest in opposite sex than do boys. Annoyed by younger siblings. 
§ Social and emotional development-  Commonly sulks; directs verbal anger at authority figure. Worries about grades, appearance, and popularity; is withdrawn, introspective. §Knows right and wrong; tries to weigh alternatives and arrive at decisions alone. Is concerned about fair treatment of others; is usually reasonably thoughtful; is unlikely to lie.

SIXTEEN TO NINETEEN

§ Sixteen to Nineteen - May lack information or self-assurance about personal skills and abilities. Seriously concerned about the future; beginning to integrate knowledge leading to decisions about future. 
§ Social and emotional development-  Relationships with parents range from friendly to hostile. Sometimes feels that parents are "too interested." Usually has many friends and few confidants; dates actively; varies greatly in level of maturity; may be uncomfortable, or enjoy activities, with opposite sex; may talk of marriage. May be strongly invested in a single, romantic relationship. 
§ Worries about failure. May appear moody, angry, lonely, impulsive, self-centered, confused, and stubborn. Has conflicting feelings about dependence/independence. 
§ Is confused and disappointed about discrepancies between stated values and actual behaviors of family and friends; experiences feelings of frustration, anger, sorrow, and isolation. 
§ May be interested in sex as a response to physical-emotional urges and as a way to participate in the adult world (but not necessarily an expression of mature intimacy).

EARLY ADULTHOOD TRANSITION

§ Seventeen to twenty-two - This transition stage is characterized by an overlap of both the pre-adulthood stage and the early adulthood stage, and typically occurs around age 17-22. At this point, physical growth and development are complete and independence is fairly well established. 
§ Social and emotional development- Individualization is becoming more prominent because one is now better suited to make decisions in preparation for their future. An important concept relating to this era is the modification of relationships; by which a person increasingly distances themselves from their family in order to solidify their transition into adulthood. Upon termination of the transition stage, maturity is established and one is fully prepared to enter the adult world.

ACT Conference!

I've been going to ACT seminars for the last few years and they are ALWAYS amazing. The Katharine Leslie seminars I've been to were put on by ACT (Advocates for Children of Trauma). I'm definitely going to find a way to go this year.

Making it Right: Trauma and Attachment Disorders, What Really Works?

Presented by; Lark Eshleman Patterson, Ph.D www.larkeshleman.com

Location: Mercado Event Center 1500 N Main St. Suite 300 Fort Worth, Texas 76164

Date: Thursday, May 12, 2011

Time: 9:00 am – 4:00 pm

Lunch on your own

Nursing and Social Work CEU’s Available

Given the complexity of developmental disorders associated with early attachment traumas, clinicians, parents and treatment team members all need a wide range yet cohesive approach to diagnostic and treatment options. In this workshop, participants will:

• Become familiar with several screening and diagnostic tools to accurately assess compatible treatment options


• Become familiar with the components and efficacy of the multiple intervention modalities represented in STAT™ -- Synergistic Trauma and Attachment Therapy – which will outline means and ways of interweaving treatment into a holistic treatment approach.


• Learn how sensory integration therapy can be interwoven into overall treatment to increase effectiveness of trauma and attachment healing


• Be introduced to a continuous tracking mechanism to assess treatment progress

Learning Objectives:

• Recognize the symptoms of attachment trauma


• Identify typical behaviors and family characteristics in families with attachment trauma.


• Outline the screening process for individuals and families with complex attachment-related trauma


• Identify treatment options available for attachment disorder

“This workshop is for parents and professionals only. No children please."

Tarrant County Hospital District dba JPS Health Network is an approved provider of continuing nursing education by the Texas Nurses Association, an accredited approver by the American Nurses Credentialing Center’s Commission on Accreditation. *********************************************************************************************** Registration Form Please register online at http://www.hopeforhealingtrauma.com/index.php/guest-speakers-a-events or complete the form below and mail it along with payment to:

Advocates for Children of Trauma 7924 Eastland Avenue Fort Worth, TX 76135

Make checks payable to: A.C.T. WORKSHOP:

Making it Right: Trauma and Attachments Disorders, What Really Works,

Presented by; Lark Eshleman Patterson, Ph.D. www.larkeshleman.com

DATE AND TIME: 5-12-2011 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM

WORKSHOP LOCATION: Location: Mercado Event Center 1500 N Main St. Suite 300 Fort Worth, Texas, 76164 REGISTRATION FEE: $50.00

PARTICIPANT NAME:

ORGANIZATION:

MAILING ADDRESS:

PHONE:

EMAIL ADDRESS:

CEU’S: _____Social Work _____Nursing

PLEASE LIST SPECIAL NEEDS:

METHOD OF PAYMENT:

ACT will accept P.O’s only if payment is made prior to the date of the workshop. No Exceptions. ___________Check ___________ Credit Card

Confirmation Policy The registration will not be confirmed until payment has been received. Incomplete registration forms will not be processed and a confirmation will not be issued. Do not mail/fax/email a duplicate registration as a follow-up to an already submitted registration. Confirmations of registration will be e-mailed to the address provided. Conference materials will be available for pick up at the registration desk. No refunds will be issued for individual cancellations.

For general inquiries, please contact:

Phone: 817-219-5459

Email: ACT_Founder@sbcglobal.net (ACT_Founder@sbcglobal.net)

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My Poor Babies

Kitty age 10 and Bear age 11 Now that Kitty is home she is super clingy and is having stomach aches and head aches. This doesn't surprise me. When we saw her on Tuesday for family therapy she was holding our hands, sitting close, giving lots of hugs and needing lots of reassurance. This is the same way she acted while in residential treatment 2 years ago. She really is just a little girl and this is terrifying for her. Not to mention it brings up a ton of memories and fears. She threw a chair at Biomom and Biomom called the police who came and put Kitty in foster care. Biomom terminated parental rights claiming Kitty was "out of control," and Kitty never went home again. Sunday evening, Kitty hit me. The police came and took Kitty away. Kitty got to come home again, but I can't blame her for fearing history is repeating itself. Bear is feeling the same way. (Sent to me via e-mail on Monday)

Hy mom how is kitty this is kinda getting to day im feeling alittle stresed out and for some reason Im feeling like it my falt in away because I did this so many times to her and the other grils when they were yonger, The makes me think about some of the stuff im trying to forget about and try to move on with my life. Im feeling like i want to cry but i don't any one to weary about me. LOVE YOU MOM I realy apreshat the way you have never gave up on us i think this some thing we needed That we realy never had. THANKS love you mom

Thank for putting up with all the good and bad stuff i ever through at you -- •Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction BEAR

Tonight Kitty wanted me to tuck her in and tentatively asked if she wasn't feeling safe would we send her back to the psych hospital. I assured her that was not an option (she'd told us about the drama and violence and how scary it was), and she confessed she's still having feelings about hurting herself. She assured me that she knew she wouldn't actually hurt herself, but the feeling were there. I stayed with her until she fell asleep. (Yes, we'll be addressing this quickly and I'll do everything I can to keep her safe in the meantime). My poor baby. I think we were assuming things would go back to normal pretty quickly, but she's obviously going to have a long recovery time. I guess there's a good reason why I don't have a job yet