This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

To Kill a Mockingbird

Kitty and her little brother were sitting outside after Kitty had a tough therapy session. She told her little brother to throw a rock at what she thought was a Mockingbird that has been making lots of noise outside her window daily. She said she wanted him to scare it away.

Ponito threw the rock and apparently hit the bird in the head, killing it (unfortunately not instantly). Kitty was totally distraught. She has had many of her pets killed by birthmom and her men (sometimes accidentally sometimes intentionally) and Kitty had sworn to herself she would never deliberately hurt an animal. It took about an hour to calm her down enough to take a shower and go to bed (I did give her sleeping medication).

In calming her down, I wanted to balance her accepting responsibility for the act (a big step for her) with the fact that everyone makes mistakes and it doesn't make her a bad person. I tried to help her take this as a lesson learned (one that I don't think she'll forget). We talked about how God forgives those who ask for it and are remorseful. I prayed with her (a first for us). I tried to help her actually believe that she was forgiven, but as Julia Roberts said in Pretty Woman,

"It's easier to believe the bad stuff."

Ponito did not seem terribly upset, but after Hubby talked to him and they removed the bird's body (no way did I want to deal with Kitty's reaction to that in the morning), he did seem a little remorseful.

That morning Kitty was agitated and loud, but did not follow through with her threat to not go to school.

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