This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Are you OK?

As I sat in Kitty's therapy waiting for the therapist to come in the room, I leaned my head back on the couch and shut my eyes.

Kitty asked if I was OK.

That doesn't emphasize what a big deal this was.

Kitty (my child with RAD) asked me (an adult caregiver/ Mom) how I was FEELING, and actually cared about the answer!!

Not a casual "How was your day?" or "Hey, how's it goin'?", where you don't actually even listen to the answer, but actually concerned about me!

This had nothing to do with what we talked about in therapy (and dissociated/ flighted away from), which was important stuff about revenge, her brother's teasing and her reaction to it, and her relationships with her friends. Or afterward when she called me boring.

But I'm going to revel in the fact that my daughter actually cared about me for a brief moment.


GB's Mom said...

What a moment to savor!

Mom 4 Kids said...

Big Smiles! :-)

Sharon said...


Jeri said...

All great journeys begin with a singles step.

Jeri said...

Ummmm, that would be a SINGLE step.

Jennie said...


marythemom said...

Jeri, LOL! Seems "profounder" the other way. I heard through the grapevine you won't be able to go to FW for ACT. I'll miss you and so will Dixie and... OK I can't remember his name, oh and Mike of course!

Yes, Sharon, I know that profounder is not a real word!

Sharon said...

That's okay, Mary. I'm not officially teaching, so I won't grade you... not this time... heh heh heh.

Jennie said...

Hey Mary, replying to your comment on my blog post, I agree with you 100%. HOWEVER, Sissy has yet to demonstrate her behaviors in the gen ed classroom in a way that they have documented it as being an issue to her academics. The law says she can't qualify for EBD just because she has the issues. The law says those issues have to impact her education and her behaviors in the classroom. Sissy was passing core curriculum before RTC. Plus she was triangulating the crap out of everyone so that I was the only one that got her behaviors. if it's not at school, they can't document.

the "unspoken plan" then was to shorten her leash by making an education plan we know she'll fail at which will drive those behaviors into the classroom which can then be documented as negatively impacting her academics and then PRESTO! she qualifies for EBD IEP and a pscyh ed class.

it's horrible, it's miserable, it's absolutely absurd but it's the only way to get Sissy to quit hiding her behaviors when with the "powers that be"

It'll happen, and pretty quickly. And who knows, Sissy might surprise us all and rise to the occasion!