This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Bonding time

Got to spend bonding time with a sick Bear (who wasn't feeling sick enough to really act sick). He did lay his head in my lap at the doctor's office (he was laying across 3 chairs and I was signaling him to sit up, but when I realized he was just going to lift his head so I could sit in one of the chairs I decided to take what I could get).

The 9 yr old girl who was sitting nicely next to her mother while her 7 yr old brother quietly complained of being hungry (Bear was doing the same thing, but not as quietly), was confused by Bear. We chatted for a few minutes about "always being our mother's 'baby,'" but she still didn't get that Bear was my son. She finally caught on and told me she had thought he was my boyfriend and that he was 20. I just assured her that happens alot, and he's really only 17.

He actually chatted with me in the office (which was mostly him teasing me and being obnoxious, but still fairly compliant). Complaining that the doctor asked too many questions, that he had nothing to do, that I'd never heard of AlQuada (sp?), that it was hard to spell words like "clarity" and "celebrity"... I'm not sure what the doctor was thinking about him. She didn't have access to his records (he fiddled with the mouse and the wires before I could stop him - bored kid with ADD... *sigh*).

Bear kept insisting that he was throwing up only because he hasn't slept in over a week (we know he has been sleeping at least a couple of hours maybe longer, but either way he doesn't feel rested). Last night I gave him an over the counter sleep aid (Valeri*n) in addition to his regular sleep medicine, but he said it made no difference at all. When the doctor started addressing his sleep concerns that was when we really noticed the lack of records. She suggested Melat*nin and I started naming off the prescription sleep meds Bear has tried but that haven't worked for longer than a couple of weeks. When she heard he'd had a sleep study last Summer, she basically said that she wouldn't be able to give us any advice. *sigh* I decided to try Melat*nin tonight. I already put in a call to his psychiatrist in case that doesn't work.

Bear likes to diagnose himself (decide what's wrong and how to treat it). He tends to wait weeks to tell me about important stuff (like bleeding when he urinates, not sleeping for over a week...), and often when he does finally tell me, it's usually casually (so I may not realize he's really hurting and do something about it) and/or at a time when there's not much I can do about it (like today at 4:50pm he told me he'd been vomiting for two days - luckily the clinic was still open). On the other hand he tells me about lesser injuries or psychosomatic symptoms (my heart hurts, my knee hurts and I need surgery on it, you have to take me to the doctor for my shoulder...) ALL THE TIME.

My favorite example of this frustrating behavior: he once mentioned, years ago, that sleep meds "don't work after a couple of weeks." From this I'm supposed to infer that every time we try him on a new sleep med that it will stop working after two weeks. If I assume, because he doesn't say anything, that the med is continuing to work, then I'm being neglectful and unloving, because he told me and I didn't do anything about it.

Anyway, Bear has STREP. Which means Kitty has strep too, because she is incredibly prone to it. So she's really sick, and I'm a bad Mommy for sending them to school anyway. Actually the doctor said Bear could go to school tomorrow anyway (thank goodness, because two of them home would kill me). Kitty has an appointment tomorrow morning.

3 comments: said...

ugh, get better, all of you.

Miz Kizzle said...

Strep? Could Bear be a PANDA bear?

marythemom said...

Actually no, Bear couldn't be a PANDA bear (thank goodness). According to him, this is the first time he's ever had strep (and it's definitely the first time in the 4.5 yrs we've had him). Kitty on the other had could have PANDAS as she is highly prone to it. Ironically she doesn't have strep this time!

Which means Bear had strep AND a stomach virus and I had to take him home after all. Which he was NOT happy about. Luckily Hubby was able to come home and work from home so Bear stopped threatening to walk to school for his party.