Things couldn't go on as they were so I've decided to make some changes
Something had to go so I thought long and hard and Hubby and I decided the biggest drain on my time is the new website I was helping with. I've been spending hours researching and working on the content, and was up until all hours chatting with the site owner or stressing out about an incident that happened on the site, how to help the few people asking me for advice, and how to make the site better.
I felt bad, but I let the owner of the site know I just couldn't help anymore. I haven't heard back from him, so I'm assuming he's not happy.
Now all I have to do is figure out what else I can do since I only started helping with the site recently and I was already close to overwhelm before.
I think the biggest step is to really start pushing to get Kitty in residential treatment already! I can't do anything until I am no longer attached at the hip to her. Nebraska should have all the paperwork finally. Will call on Monday.
Kitty had another meltdown today that emphasized just how much time and energy we have been devoting to keeping her calm and regulated. Bear brought me a book that Kitty had got at the library. Kitty is not allowed to read anything that has sex, blood and gore, or violence - she just can't handle it. This vampire book said on the back that it was a bloody gothic horror with a love theme... needless to say I took the book. For once she even threatened to kill Bear! (usually she is so afraid of Bear she would never even dream of threatening or blaming him)
I have no idea what it means but almost immediately after her meltdown (which Hubby handled), it was all forgotten! She spent about 20 minutes on the swing, and then came in, gave me a hug as she walked by and never mentioned it again. I don't know if it was because she knew getting the book was wrong or if she just dissociated from it completely. Immediately after it happened, Hubby warned me that I needed to be careful because he believed her when she threatened me.
2 comments:
Mary, I'm glad you gave up that other website, you really didn't need the stress. I know it was feeding you personally by giving you something that's yours and that you were good at, so I hope you can find something else like that after the kids are back in school... but that PAYS you for your services. NO MORE VOLUNTEERING!
I'm sure Michael is okay with it and that he is busy otherwise.
Did you read his latest about how people with RAD should and can tell their stories?
(I am sorry that it was a bit of a drain on your time...)
Kitty might have dissociated. Dr Wilbur once told Sybil: 'None of the selves go against your moral code', but what if the host self doesn't have a moral code in the first place?
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