This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Monday, December 27, 2010

Stocking Stuffers

Well I found out where my stocking of chocolate came from! Supportforspecialneeds.com apparently had another giveaway. I found out when I logged on to the site today. Very cool.

Unfortunately Bear ate almost all of my chocolate. :(

Last night I went to get a piece and discovered there was almost none left. When I searched Bear's room this morning while he was in the shower, as expected I found a couple of pieces of candy (and some other contraband). I discussed it with Hubby to decide what the consequences should be.

We decided I should take the treats that Bear got for Christmas and his new camera, and put them in a box, which Hubby decided to place on the dining room table (he told me to tell Bear that it better still be there when Hubby got home from work). Hubby then left for work. Everyone was getting ready to go horseback riding except Bob who'd decided to stay home so Ponito could ride (we only had 3 slots and Ponito had spent the day with a friend last week).

During Christmas break, Kitty's therapist had arranged for some therapeutic riding for many of her patients at a local horseriding stable that works primarily with emotionally disturbed children. The stable owner was already very familiar with Bear who had been attending for years though his special school and said he could ride as well. There was room for one more rider so they let Bob ride last week. I've been loving it because it's 3 hours to talk to other moms of adopted teenage girls with RAD.

While I was finishing getting ready, Bear came out of the shower and apparently discovered his stuff in the box on the table. Bear came to my bedroom door (he's not allowed in our room because he's stolen stuff from our room in the past), and yelled to me in the Master bath, asking me why his stuff was on the table. I told him it was because he had stolen my stocking candy so Dad and I had taken his Christmas stuff. He wanted to know why I thought that he'd taken my candy and I said because I'd realized it was missing and he'd smelled like chocolate in the car on the way to Grandma's the night before so I searched his room. Plus when food goes missing it tends to be him.

As you can imagine, instantly it became about what a horrible person I was for not trusting him. Never mind that he'd actually stolen it! So he told me he was going to ruin my day by not going horseback riding. He knew I would never leave him home alone so no one would get to go. He then stormed off. Even though I didn't even see him, I was shaking like a leaf. I will most definitely be talking to my therapist about EMDR therapy for my PTSD.

So I called Hubby and asked him to turn around and work from home today so Kitty and Ponito could still go to horseback riding therapy. We had to leave before Hubby got back home, and I have to admit I was kind of entertained by Bear's face when he realized we were going anyway (he'd been banging around in the garage as we left, and lifted up the garage door and looked out as we drove away).

Huby said he was on the phone and had his bedroom windows wide open. I don't think I want to know what he was up to.

Hubby talked to him and got very frustrated. I'm not sure what happened, but I know at some point Hubby took the door off of Bear's room. (Hubby apparently did put it back on later). Bear denied everything of course. Said he'd told me he would go after all. Said he didn't take the candy. Said the only reason he took it was because it was the only way he would get any.

Later when we got home, Bear came up to me and said he was sorry he'd acted the way he did. He blamed it on the fact that he found out his great-grandfather had died. He said he found out on Christmas day. He also said he was upset because he wanted to spend time with his latest girlfriend on her birthday (allegedly the day after Christmas), but Ponito had a low-grade fever so we said no company. He then told me she was going to come over this afternoon instead. I said, "umm, no I don't think that's a good idea today after what happened this morning." He wandered off.

Apparently Hubby had told him to stay off the phone and busted him on that a little later.

I have a massive headache so I'm going to bed. Night y'all!

3 comments:

Miz Kizzle said...

That little scamp! Could it be that his bedroom windows were wide open to air out the smell of an illegal substance? The frequent snacking might indicate a case of the munchies.

marythemom said...

He apparently does have an addictive brain. Sugar, tobacco, drugs, chaos... I try to watch for it all, but you definitely could be right. He could also have been contemplating going out the window or throwing things out the window.

Mary

Struggling to Stand said...

So sorry. I know what it is like to have special Christmas chocolate stolen and eaten by a son. It sucks. I am hoping you got to enjoy the rest of "almost all".