Get Dressed. Put on Deoderant.
Pick Up Clothes. Laundry as Needed.
Pick Up Room.
Check in with Mom. Eat Breakfast.
Take Meds. Brush Teeth and Hair.
Exercise - Walk with Neighbor?
School Work - Independent
with Assistance from Mom
or Chores - If Have Homebound later(we didn't get Homebound because the psychiatrist didn't call the school in time).
Chores (if chores take longer she has less time on the computer - if they take less time she gets a little more)
Lunch Prep and Eat Lunch
Reading/ Quiet Time
Go to School
Go Home with Mom
Walk in Backyard
Family Time/ TV/ Dinner
Take Meds and Get Ready for Bed
Kitty couldn't get started this morning. By the time we got back from taking Bear his glasses and some other stuff he'd forgotten (if it hadn't been his glasses I wouldn't have bothered), she was already ranting at me about the same old stuff (I won't let her be friends with the boy she fell in love with at the hospital, I won't let her talk to her friends ever again - that's the black and white / all or nothing thinking again.).
Yesterday she lied about finishing her chores (kitty litter) and got on the computer (privilege for completing choresa) without permission, so today her consequence was that she wouldn't be allowed to play on the computer. Hubby was going to disable it before she got up in the morning and direct the brunt of her anger at him, but he forgot. I called him and asked his advice on how to deal with her (after being yelled at for an hour). He decided to come home and work from home.
Before he got home she'd stormed to her room because I told her she'd lost the computer privilege for today. With her black and white thinking she feels that "Not today" and "As soon as you're stable" (once I explained what "stable" meant - I can't believe we've been using that term for years and she didn't know what it meant)... means "Never." I let her go, despite the fact that she might try to hurt herself, because I couldn't take much more.
Hubby went up to talk to her, and she escalated to screaming, being verbally abusive and cussing, threatening us and herself - overdose, and trying to claw herself. Eventually she was begging to go back to the psych hospital to get away from us (although every time I got on the phone today she has freaked out because she's convinced I'm calling the police). Finally I decided to give her a Klon*pin (not that I've seen that they help much) and went upstairs to "rescue" her from Hubby. Basically she was mad at him because he was standing next to her and she wanted me (it's the opposite when I'm with her and Hubby isn't there).
Hubby was holding her hands so she couldn't gouge her skin, and I told her to get him to stop, she was going to have to do some yoga breathing to help her calm down. Breathe in for four counts, hold it for 7 counts, breath out for 8 counts. Because I wasn't the parent she was actively mad at, she complied. In less than a minute I got her calm enough to take the Klon*pin and Hubby was able to completely release her. I told her to come downstairs with me, and put her down for a nap on the couch. I wrapped her in a blanket (compression) and gave her the option of me sitting next to her or just nearby. She chose next to her and was asleep within minutes.
All you single parents out there - I think you are totally amazing!!!!
Now I don't know what to do. It feels like the psych hospital made things worse. She's on a wait list for residential treatment, but that could take months, and I'm not sure it's going to help because so many of her issues are family and school related so they don't see it. First choice is partial day hospitalization (she'd be on the hospital campus from 9am to 4pm - getting school, therapy and psychiatric services and then home in the evenings and overnight), but the only one nearby doesn't take Texas Medic*id. In fact almost no one takes TX Medica*d - this state is one of the worst mental health service providers in the country (if not the worst).
We didn't get the homebound services we wanted because they psychiatrist's liaison didn't call the school back - even though she said she was sure they psychiatrist would give permission. The school's psychologist was against the idea. She was the only one, but without that psychiatrist's permission, she could veto it easily.