This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Still Not Out of the Woods





Another letter to the school and other people involved in Kitty's care










I’ve talked to {Mr. AP, the school assistant principal} about the IEP meeting decision to have Kitty assessed by {the special school Bear attends} not happening. {The school psychologist} passed the buck mentioned this was {Ms.P, Kitty's school case manager's} responsibility to arrange, but apparently no one had realized that Ms. P has been out due to family issues, and probably won’t be back until later in the week. Mr. AP said he would make sure the forms would get filled out so that the assessments could get started.

I also want to make sure that Kitty has been re-enrolled in English and World Geography instead of study skills so that she can get credit for the work she’s doing, now that she’s making it to those classes. Mr. AP mentioned this confusion on Wednesday, and I want to officially put it in writing that we’ve agree to this, and make sure the teachers are aware of it as well. (According to Kitty the teachers
are under the impression that she is still enrolled in study skills {and therefore won't get credit for actually completing the classes - just credit for a study skills class, even though she's in those teacher's classrooms doing work for those teacher's class - in addition to her other make-up work).

Also, if someone could give me a heads up on Kitty’s finals week schedule as soon as possible that would be greatly appreciated so I can coordinate this with the other kids’ schedules (Bear needs to be supervised) and move Kitty’s psychiatrist appointment if absolutely necessary (currently it’s Tuesday morning).

FYI, I picked up Kitty early from last period on Friday because she called me with a “sore throat and a headache.” When I asked Kitty why her throat hurt, at first she said she didn’t know why. Then later she told me she’d had a “screaming contest” with a friend. Two days later she told me that she’d made that up, but the hitting contest she’d told Hubby about as having happened Thursday, she said really did happen. {This is unusual as Kitty doesn't normally lie} She claimed she and another girl were “fake punching” each other in the arm and stomach, and that at one point the other girl hit Kitty “too hard” in the stomach. Whichever events actually happened, I think it’s obvious that Kitty’s boundaries and social skills are still a
mess.

Although this last med change has obviously helped Kitty (we’ve all enjoyed actually seeing her smile again!), Kitty also had several severe meltdowns over the weekend -- to the point we almost called the crisis hotline. Luckily, with our warnings and help, she was able to teeter on the edge and pull back just enough to keep us unable to justify the additional overwhelming anxiety and trauma this would cause.

The meltdowns were triggered by the fact that Bear, her brother, is not sleeping well and therefore was in an irritable, intimidating and rude mood. He did not do or say much of anything to Kitty, but he lost his cool with me (in front of her). I was able to get him out of the house with Hubby, but not in time to keep Kitty from being triggered and anxious. We decided that Bear's behavior was not bad enough for him to lose the privilege of spending the night at Grandma’s and he was in a good enough place to be safe with Grandma and the other kids, but that Kitty was so hypersensitive to him that she wouldn’t be able to tolerate being around him. So we
kept Kitty home from Grandma’s Saturday night – which she took to mean that we didn’t love her and that we were punishing her – which led to another serious meltdown. The last meltdown ended with me supervising her until she finally fell asleep under her bed (don’t ask!).

Thanks for keeping everyone in the loop guys!
Mary





We're still hoping to talk the state of Nebraska (where the kids were adopted from) into paying for partial day hospitalization for Kitty (she goes to school and therapy with psychiatric services from 8am to 5pm Monday through Friday at the hospital, and spends evenings and weekends at home. It's like residential treatment, but with less trauma!

Unfortunately, the one in our area doesn't take Texas Medicaid (because our state is one of the worst for mental health services in the country). We had residential treatment services written in to our adoption subsidy (for this reason), but it never occurred to us that the partial day hospitalization program that was covered by TX Medicaid would actually be evil (story for another time if I didn't already write it two years ago), and would eventually close down.

We're also not having any luck getting anyone to return the calls of the post adoption services caseworker who is trying to help us with both this and getting our TX Medicaid extended to age 19 (we know how, we just can't get anyone to fill out and turn in the form).

2 comments:

J. said...

Hugs Mary, hang in there. I hope this week is a bit easier.

Last Mom said...

You must be so exhausted. (((Hugs)))