This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Family and Contest




"You're not my real family."

"That's funny, I feel real. Honey, do I look plastic to you? Believe me baby, this is not a Barbie body!"






Real families are made from love, not blood. You do not have to be blood related to love someone. Mom and Dad are not blood related, but we still love each other very much, and we are a family. You are part of our family and I love you. Even if you move away and never speak to me again, I will always love you.





My friend Tiruba Tuba is having a contest about family to add to a book for older children in foster care waiting for a family.





Kids are waiting. Waiting for permanent families to adopt them. They are in foster care. They are nervous. Scared. Family hasn’t always meant something good or permanent to them. They may even still have family in their lives that they love and don’t want to lose those connections. This is a stressful time.



Let’s share with waiting children what family means to us. What does it mean to you???



Your Mission should you choose to accept it:
I challenge you to say why a permanent family is important TO YOU. If you are a parent, you can say why you wanted a family. If you are kid who was adopted, tell kids who are waiting what the good parts of being adopted is. Even if you have not adopted or are not adopted, tell me: Why do you love your family? You can show this in a million ways and I expect to see a million different results.






You have til Monday to LEAVE A COMMENT on this post http://tubaville.wordpress.com/2009/07/15/contest/) on what family means to you. For another entry, LEAVE ANOTHER COMMENT on how adoption has impacted your life. Remember, these will all be going into a book for older children waiting for adoption. You will get an extra entry if you link to this contest on your blog.

Mary's Family-

My family has changed over the years. My parents divorced when I was young and both remarried. Some of their new spouses had children so I had step siblings, step cousins, and even more grandparents. My family moved often too (9 different states and countries before I was 5). I can't say I understand everything my kids have been through, but I understand some.

When we adopted our children I knew I would love them just as much as I love my children I had by birth. They have had a hard time believing that, but they are learning it's true. I know that it will take a long time for them to truly trust me, and that's OK. We've got time. Even when they graduate high school and leave home they will continue to be part of our family -forever.

Our children still have contact with some of their birth family and foster family. I know they have enough room in their heart to love all their families just like I do. Even if they can't talk to a family member right now, that person is still family and it's OK for them to love them.

Family Expectations -
  • Saying no to you does not mean we don't love you.
  • Being in a family doesn't mean things will be fair. Life is not fair.
  • It's a parents' job to help kids learn to deal with life in the real world and being part of a family.

We always expect you to try to be Respectful, Responsible, Honest, and Fun To Be Around (RRHAFTBA) and in return you will enjoy the rights and responsibilities that go with being part of this loving family. We do NOT try to make everything equal for everyone. We respect that each of our children has a different personality, is a different age, and has different wants, needs and abilities. Being part of our family means we sometimes cut you some slack and sometimes we’re here to help you live up to being more than average or equal.

1 comment:

One Future At A Time said...

Once again, a wonderful blog Mary! Keep it up!!!

Mike
http://www.rad-online.org