This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

He really is only 17!

Jeri commented on the fact that Bear didn't look 13/14 in the picture I posted. So I thought I'd show you the pictures I have of my "baby." I only have a few pictures of him when he's young that Biomom gave me. In fact the next youngest picture I have of him he's probably only about age 4/5. He really did hit puberty young. I've heard that's common in kids of trauma.

I found this first picture in Kitty's life book. Bear's life book only had some of his drawings, and I only saw it once. I don't think it made it to Texas. Bear about age 11? Which would make Kitty about age 9 or 10 here. This would probably be after they entered foster care. The little girls are their biosiblings. He was a little chunky then (over 200lbs)! I have another picture of him a little later, but it was so unflattering that I didn't scan it in. His stretch marks are unbelievable.

Bear age 12! This was the first picture I saw of Bear and Kitty (she'd just turned 11). Already shaving and his full height (5'9")

Bear age 13. This was what he looked like the weekend we met him. That's little Ponito in his arms. Hubby behind them, and actually my MIL in the background on the right.

Just turned 14

15th B-day

(the pink wraps are where he had tattoos removed) Don't you love his outfit? The pink Superman cape isn't as noticeable in this picture.

Bear at 16

Bear at 16. The day he was confirmed in the church.

Bear turns 17!
He definitely doesn't look his age, and obviously hasn't in a really long time!
His weight has really fluctuated a lot. His foster father didn't cook so they ate fast food for almost every meal. When we got him, he was well over 200lbs. After 6 months of healthy eating with us, he'd dropped down to 180lbs and looked really healthy (in that respect). He went on Depak*te and gained 5-9lbs a week for the first 4 months or so he was in residential treatment! Since then he's gained and lost kind of depending on what meds he's taking. Ser*quel caused the midnight munchies and he gained quite a bit. A few months ago he was back up to 225lbs, but recently informed me he's down to 210lbs. We have almost no say in what he puts in his mouth, so there's nothing I can do about it.
You're not the only one who can't believe he's only 17 Jeri!


Tara - SanitySrchr said...

He is such a handsome young man. :-)

Jeri said...

Tara is so right, he's a very handsome young man. Wow, it's like his pituitary gland was on hyperspeed early.

Anonymous said...

Great photo time-line, Mary! I do think he looks his age now.

Miz Kizzle said...

Bear is good looking when he smiles, especially when the smile reaches his eyes.

Miz Kizzle said...

Eating is such an issue with young men. My sons are 22 and 20, both in college, and eating junk food on the run. The only thing that saves them from being overweight is their fast metabolisms (hubby and i are both blessed that way) and their height -- 6 foot 2 and six foot 3. Fortunately they went to a private high school with a high percentage of Asian students. They like vegetarian Indian dishes a lot and that's what we eat when they're home from school.
Does Bear exercise much? It helps keep weight down and it helps lift one's spirits.