This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Monday, October 18, 2010


I'm so glad that the only reason Bear is in special ed classes is because I'm mean and made the school put him in. The school says he has no learning disabilities. Kitty does, but everyone keeps saying I should put her in regular ed classes.

The other day I had them put items they wanted on the grocery list.

Kitty tried to write Chap Stick - let's just say she spelled it wrong.

Bear had to ask 11 year old Ponito how to spell "shoe glue." Really.

The good news is that both kids are fine with asking how to spell things. It doesn't seem to embarass them at all.


Unknown said...

No worries love. That is what spell check is for right!

I am so glad I found your blog. I am the mom of two kids, ages 8 and 9.5 with mental health diagnosis and I'm searching for other parents of children with mental health needs. Come check out my blog at

marythemom said...

I agree Mel, but that is how Bear ended up with an entire e-mail written to his couch, thanking him for all his help in football! LOL!

I'm looking forward to checking out your blog.

Mary in TX

Miz Kizzle said...

Does Bear read for pleasure? Kids who read have much better writing and spelling skills than those who don't. Maybe he could read about underwater welding or something else that interests him.
From examples of his writing that you've posted before, I'd say he's writing and spelling at about a fourth grade level. How can his teachers possibly insist that there's nothing wrong?
And how can Bear think you had him placed in special ed classes because you hate him? You've poured time and money into helping him. If you hated him you'd do the bare minimum (or the Bear minimum) and just kick back and relax rather than working your butt off to improve his chances of having a successful life.

marythemom said...

Bear would rather die (or in this case talk) than read or write. This exercise turned out to be a great way to get him to talk to me! He talked more to me in the last week than he has in months! Of course since verbal is harder to document this is already tapering off.

He does not read for pleasure at all. He does not read for school if he can possibly avoid it.

He usually passes his TAKS (Texas standardized skills testing), but it's modified and even when he doesn't pass there are no consequences. I have no idea how, but he's usually working "at grade level." There is supposed to be some sort of software he's getting to accommodate his issues with spelling and handwriting. I don't think he's started it yet.

No idea how he's passing 11th grade except that No Child Left Behind has made sure that he will - no matter what, and probably with As if he makes even the slightest effort.

As to thinking I am out to get him? It is not rational. He projects on me things others from his past, particularly biomom, have told him, or felt about him or ways they've treated him. His own doubts and hatred of himself... his inability to trust anyone... it is so incredibly frustrating and unfair.