This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Should I feel blackmailed?

Bear has opened up a little but is still insisting on moving out at 18. In therapy we talked about how this is changing his tune yet again.
He is now talking about staying in Texas, but living with a friend and his family! The dad is out of the picture right now as he got fall down drunk at a football game - where he was supposed to be supervising Bear's team - and the mom moved out. Bear thinks it was because he had a fight with his son?!
Bear describes the mom as small and tough. I asked him why if she's so tough he wants to move in with her. He says it's because she'd let him do whatever he wants (run around and party). I told him he knows what he needs to do to have that at home (I didn't say what "that" was because I wanted to see what he thought it was!). He said, "That's never going to happen." ("Why?") "I'm never going to talk to you that much."
At one point he said he might stay... if I let him go anywhere and do anything he wants.
The truth is I'm seeing some improvements in his behavior. He's rarely tardy, not skipping school, I haven't caught him with stolen electronics or illegal substances in quite awhile (haven't really looked either). His attitude is up and down, but he is opening up a little. I'm ready to lighten up some, I just have to figure out where. I know I can't trust him alone with his siblings, but his peers... maybe.

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