This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Monday, February 6, 2012

Family Update


Bob STILL has Mono. We thought she was finally better (fever-free for almost 48 hours, but she's got another low-grade fever Saturday night. She's been out of school almost 3 weeks. She's not taking any medications for Mono. It's a virus and she has VERY mild symptoms. I will let the doctor know today that she's still got a fever, but more because the school is complaining (got another notice saying we could be prosecuted because she has too many unexcused absences) than because I think they can do anything.

Everything is available online nowadays so Bob is mostly keeping up with her school work. There's some things she doesn't understand (mostly math which I can't help her with), but she's working hard to keep up. I'm enjoying watching episodes of Quantum Leap and old movies with her. The best part is that she's cuddly when she's sick.


Surprisingly Bear is still keeping in touch and taking his meds regularly.

Bear is staying with a kid from school and the kid's mom and older brother. The mom is rarely there and the kid is a known drug dealer. Not sure why they're letting Bear stay there, but Bear has told them it's temporary. Just untill he gets a job. Of course he's been "looking" for a job since September. As far as I can tell they stay up all night playing video games. Once he gets a job he plans to move into an apartment with two other school friends, who don't have any better reputations.

He came home last night to pick up his night meds and his meds for tomorrow morning. We told him that we expect him to continue to come to family events, go to therapy, keep us in the loop about where he is, and to continue to come home daily to get his meds because he can't have more than a day's worth while living with known drug dealers. We also told him he needed to notify us before he came over and we've taken back his key.

I think he wanted us to order him back, beg him to come home, or at least get emotional about it. He seemed shut down and expecting a scene. Instead we were polite and told him he's welcome back if things change, but for now this seems for the best. He packed a bag of stuff and we told him sometime in the next couple of weeks we'd put the rest in Rubbermaid boxes and store it for him. We talked about what to do with his pet goldfish, but didn't come to any conclusion about them. Thought about dumping them back in the pond in the back yard, but I don't think they'd survive.


Ponito is turning 13 this week which means all 4 of my kids will be teens!

The double doors to convert the playroom into his bedroom are on order and it should be done pretty soon. I've found pre-hung doors that exactly fit the space for just a little over $100 and will match all the other doors in the house

We thought about just giving Ponito Bear's old room, but Bear could be home again tomorrow... and anyway his room is DISGUSTING (spit all over the walls and floors, dirty clothes that were rarely changed and even more rarely washed, holes and grafitti on the walls, unidentified stains and smells, remains of hoarded food...)!


Kitty is still in the residential treatment program. She's doing OK. At least they don't seem to be planning to send her home yet. I'm not sure if she has the intellectual/ developmental/ emotional capacity for the treatment to help her heal, but she and they are at least trying.


Feels weird to be back down to just the 2 biokids. First time in 5 years. Both of them are pretty responsible too, so I'm thinking about getting a temp job, at least until Kitty comes home or the Summer, whichever comes first. Going to get dressed up tomorrow and go pick up an application at the local temp agency. I hope I can find something to wear, all the traveling back and forth to Metro City means we've been eating fast food a lot. I gained back the 5 lbs I'd lost since the beginning of the year. *sigh*


Hubby is still job hunting. He really hates his contract engineering job. He has no time off and we have no health insurance. It pays well, but we're mostly maintaining, not able to get ahead. His mom's health issues, driving to Metro City to visit Kitty, and the constant issues with Bear are really affecting his health.

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