This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Books and Methods Review - Therapeutic Parenting - Katharine Leslie

Katherine Leslie
( is a practicing psychologist who has raised a daughter with attachment issues. 

Marythemom:  *****Her coaching style really seems to work with my teens.  I’ve heard her speak and met her in person several times.  I highly recommend her.   

"When a Stranger Calls You Mom": A child development and relationship perspective on why abused and neglected children think, feel, and act the way they do by Katharine Leslie  

Marythemom:  This book has good information on how children get RAD and the biological effects of trauma on young children, particularly infants.  It also explains what effect these continue to have on the child as they grow older (for example: not learning Object Permanence means a child will have extreme difficulty bonding to an adult – as it is hard to attach to someone who do not realize is still there when they walk out of the room.  Not learning Cause and Effect of course effects the rest of a child’s life – there will not understand there are consequences to thier actions!)

Marythemom:  This book is especially good for parents adopting an older child.  There is a lot of practical advice and help understanding why kids act the way they do and how to help them adapt to living in your home.
This book sprang from the desire of parents to better learn and master the relationship coaching model.
•Explain the concept of mutual well-being in parent-child relationships.
•Include lots of bare bones facts about the brain, attachment, and relationships.
•Define discipline, punishment, and consequences.
•Present many real life examples of our children’s behaviors and offer four strategies for managing negative behaviors and increasing positive behaviors.
•Go over step-by-step instructions on implementing the relationship coaching method.

Katharine Leslie,  "In both these publications my goal is clear: help parents and their children achieve mutual well-being in their relationships. A mutual well-being paradigm recognizes the transactional nature of all relationships. Transactional means “a communicative action or activity involving two parties reciprocally affecting or influencing each other” and in so doing transforming each other. This theme permeates the work I do with parents and professionals. I teach parents how to compassionately meet the needs of their children as they teach their children to meet parental needs in the relationship; I teach therapists that all interventions must be non-harmful and helpful to both child and parent at the same time.
I do not presume that my methods are the be-all-and-end-all answer to your hopes and prayers. After all, the world of the traumatized/attachment-challenged child is complicated, multidimensional, and often puzzling to even the most experienced parents and practitioners. However, from the consistent positive feedback I have received over the years from parents, professionals and colleagues, I know that my Mutual Well-Being Model of family intervention is an essential tool for creating attachment-friendly environments, lowering family conflict, and increasing need satisfaction."

Marythemom:  ***** Katharine Leslie is one of my most recommended authors.  I’ve attended two of her seminars and reviewed them on my blog in great detail.  Along with a more detailed review of these two books.  

Check out the Katharine Leslie section on the right sidebar of my blog.

2009 Seminar
Friends view of the seminar - kids of trauma as former POWs

2010 Seminar:
Object Permanence
Object Permanence (cont.)
Secure Attachment
Positive Behaviors
Discipline vs. Punishment
75 Child Behaviors and Attitudes

Description of Katharine Leslie's amazing books 
Katharine Leslie's website

No comments: