Anyway, I ran across these e-mails that Bear had sent, and thought you guys might get as big a chuckle out of them as I did. ALL of the grammar and spelling errors are Bear's - and remember his e-mail program has spell check and grammar check so I guess he was ignoring them. These were written at the END of his first year in high school. So glad my son has no learning disabilities and is getting an excellent education.
Hi Mr h______ this is [bear] How are you doing? I am a shtat A
B student In my first year of high school I abrishyat the help you gave me
in grade School. I don’t think I could have made it this far with out your
help.
One of the big things I’m working on is trying to make the varsity foot
ball team witch is a big thing IN the South it’s a big deil for me But I know I
can make it if try hard.
Some once said to me In math class I should not give
up evan if it shard Just because it’s esery to do. You also help make me who I
am to day by teaching things that I need from a father figure of some sort like
how to contrl my anger and you were always there for me to talk to if I need it
WITCH I DID NOT HAVE FROM A OLDER MAEL FIGUR THAT RILE CARE ABOUT THAT RILE MENT
IT SO THANKS A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Interpretation:
Hi Mr H______. This is [Bear]. How are you doing? I am a straight A and B student in my first year of high school. I appreciate the help you gave me in grade school. I don’t think I could have made it this far without your help.
One of the big things I’m working on is trying to make the varsity foot ball team, which is a big thing in the South. It’s a big deal for me, but I know I can make it if try hard.
Someone once said to me that in math class I should not give up, even if it's hard, just because it’s easier to do. You also helped make me who I am to day by teaching me things that I needed to hear from a father figure of some sort: like how to control my anger. You were always there for me to talk to if I needed it which I didn't get from any older male figure that really cared about me and that really meant it, so thanks a lot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HI Couch this is [Bear]. HOW are you doing? This is my E-mail
add If you want to email me back some time. Things are good here hot but good
I’m going to try to make varsity Foot ball next year. Tell the rest of the
couches I said Hi.
Interpretation: I don't think I need to couch you on this one.
To: 'recruit @ blinn.edu'
Subject: Foot Ball Camp
I was wandering if I was to get a
later of recumedshon from different people I could get some other or some way to
getting in to
Your camp. Because I was adopted last summer and my family
love the fact that I want to be in foot ball I think it one way for people to
show the emotions and get to know more people...
Yeah Bear. This is going to get you into college football camp. *sigh* Nice to know that our family loves the fact that you want to be in football (as long as it makes him happy and keeps him out of trouble we're OK with it, but love it?). Football helps you show emotions?
I'd give an interpretation, but your guess is as good as mine on most of this one.
Did I mention he's making all As and Bs in language arts (aka English) and has no learning disabilities according to all school records? Way to go school system!
Thought you guys might enjoy this e-mail I received recently. Luckily my kids speak much more clearly than this, OK, somewhat more clearly than this, OK... nope, that's all I'm going to admit to.
By the time you finish reading this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND “TENJOOBERRYMUDS”.
In order to continue getting-by in our homeland, we all need to learn the NEW English! Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term "TENJOOBERRYMUDS".
With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in. Now, here goes...
The following is a telephone exchange between maybe you as a hotel guest and room-service somewhere in the good old U S A today......
Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
Room Service: " Rye . Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"
Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs."
Room Service: "Ow July den?"
Guest: ".....What??"
Room Service: "Ow July den?!?... pryed, boyud, poochd?"
Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. scrambled, please."
Room Service: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"
Guest: "Crisp will be fine."
Room Service: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"
Guest: "What?"
Room Service: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"
Guest: "I... don't think so."
RoomService: "No? Judo wan sahn toes???"
Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."
RoomService: "Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"
Guest: "Oh, English muffin! !! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'...Fine....Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RoomService: "We bodder?"
Guest: "No, just put the bodder on the side."
RoomService: "Wad?!?"
Guest: "I mean butter... just put the butter on the side."
RoomService: "Copy?"
Guest: "Excuse me?"
RoomService: "Copy...tea..meel?"
Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... and that's everything."
RoomService: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy ... rye??"
Guest: "Whatever you say."
RoomService: "Tenjooberrymuds."
Guest: "You're welcome"
Remember I said "By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TENJOOBERRYMUDS'.....and you do, don't you?
6 comments:
Now does this make me bilingual? Can I put that down now on my resume?
Tenjoberrymuds fur suds aberry fuddy posed
I get what you are saying about the language "arts" part of Bear's emails.
But I need to point out how amazing the content is. How many guys do you know who would write to someone that did something special for them, who meant something to them, just to say "thanks"?
Bear might not know how to contact a recruiter, but he is trying! How many kids are too afraid to make the attempt?
Please ... be careful and precise about who you are making fun of. You are upset at the schools for denying their responsibility, but you don't want Bear to stop trying.
If you have no clue how to spell something, the spell checker doesn't help. Most of those words are so phonetic that the spell checker would not have a clue what word he was trying to write.
If the school insists he isn't LD, is that because he was tested? If he was tested and shows no LDs, maybe he has Auditory Processing Disorder?
that is funny, thanks for sharing.
Oh my goodness gracious. This No Child Left Behind mess is going to have some cebere repurkussuns in the fewshur. (That's severe repercussions in the future in Standard English.)
Before I became a lawyer I taught elementary school for two years. One of the hare-brained ideas going around at that time was that it didn't matter how kids spelled things, what mattered was that they were writing and communicating. I considered that a huge load of horrs chit. (That's equine doo-doo in Standard English.)
Does Bear read for pleasure? I've noticed that kids who read a lot tend to spell better.
I seriously hope Bear wasn't implying that he has no father figure in his life at the current time. He's speaking about the past, right?
Miz Kizzle,
Kindergarten spelling (phonetic) is still acceptable in Kindergarten and first grade, but not so much afterward.
Bear hates reading.
You're right, Bear was not saying he didn't have a father figure now. He was saying he didn't have a father figure then. It might have been true then. Or he could be stroking the guy's ego. You never know with Bear.
Marythemom
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